Castles in the Sky
by Ashbear
Summary: Rinoa & Squall - When we fall, who is there to catch us in the dark? Rinoa loses her sight and Squall learns to 'see' what lies in his heart… We can't believe in others, when we can't believe in ourselves.
1. Yesterday

**_Foreword _****_August 29, 2002_**

**_Never lose sight of who you are, or why we are here. _**

Sometimes we lose sight of why we started writing in the first place. In July of 2002, one of our fellow authors passed away. Never in my life, did I think anything I could do, would ever touch anyone. With a simple letter from his wife, I remembered why we are all here.

So, Brian, I want to thank you - for this, for everything. Your stories were truly special, as you were to all of us. I think at times we get lost in all of the fantasy, and forget the reality around us. Sometimes that is good, sometimes that is bad… and sometimes it is wake up call to what is important.

And for that, you shall never be forgotten.

For you Brian, **Azrieal**, wherever you are, I hope that you found your castle in the sky.

**_Castles in the Sky _**

**_Chapter One: Yesterday _**

* * *

The lights were so intense.

She tried to remember exactly what was happening… voices, many voices. She could feel the vehicle's motion with every breath. Why was it so hard to breathe? They were touching her, poking needles into God knows what. She could feel the pressure, but the pain did not register.

Outside, now she was outside, in the frigid night air being wheeled into a building. They seemed to be yelling in an alarming tone. Who were they? Now she came to an abrupt stop. They were still putting things on her; she just wanted them to stop.

"_Female approximately twenty years in age… car accident, head trauma and internal bleeding_."

That's it… she remembered portions of the accident. The truck had not seen her. The driver, was the driver all right? She opened her eyes, looking at the ceiling. It was white tile with intense lights recessed in a pattern.

She tried to speak. No words came, only the voice within her mind.

"_The driver, I have to know if he's all right. I'm so exhausted. I will just close my eyes for a moment. The pain, will the pain go away?_" Then she heard the alarm of the monitor sounding. "_Stop touching me!_" Her cries were unheard to all around. A sudden darkness overtook her…

"_I will just close my eyes a second... just a second, and then I'll see what's going on._"

* * *

****

****

**_Six Months later: _**

Boy, he hated these events. Working security for a bunch of affluent people, yeah, that's exactly what he'd trained all his life for. Squall Leonhart, security guard to the rich and annoying. He sat looking out of the window of the limo as the lights of Deling grew closer.

"_Ballet?_"

Now he was forced to go to the ballet. It was more a demand of Cid's than anything. Mrs. Maude McCay wanted to show gratitude to the three SeeDs who helped her during the inauguration of the new Galbadian president. How did she thank them? Not with a bottle of wine or even a thank you note. No, she sent them tickets to the ballet. When Squall informed Cid he already had plans, like cleaning his gunblade or counting the tiles on the floor, he was told in no uncertain terms: **change them**. As every good little mercenary should, he didn't argue. Sometimes when the headmaster made up his mind, it just couldn't be changed. Although, as the city got closer, he really wished he had been counting the tiles in his room.

"_Ballet, why?_"

"Hey buddy," Irvine rudely disturbed his inner thoughts. "Think of it this way - all the girls in tights and short skirts… all the rich young ladies there tonight. If I didn't have Selphie, this could've been a great experience for both of us. Guess I'll have to live vicariously through you."

Squall continued to stare out the window and mumbled, "Whatever" under his breath.

Lauren, the junior SeeD in the car, finally spoke up. "I can't wait! It's going to be so beautiful. Think of the all graceful movements, it's kind of like battle…it's an art."

Irvine turned to Squall, "Next time we're in battle and you start leaping across the ground ending in the splits… is the day I will shoot you myself." He was met with a stern glare from the commander. "Hey just warning you buddy. Squall, if you ever wear tights around me, I'm committing you."

With that, Squall just turned back to the window.

"_Ballet, with __Irvine__… why?_"

* * *

When they arrived at the Performing Arts Center, it was a most elegant sight, men in tuxedos, women in the finest of dress. Squall all of a sudden thought of not going in, but then decided to handle this situation as any other mission. Just one the commander hoped that he wouldn't fall asleep during. That wouldn't look good on the SeeD reputation, although the three of them had opted not to wear the official uniform. Still the dark blue suit he was wearing felt like it was shrinking every minute. The tie, he was pretty sure, was tightening like a noose around his neck.

Irvine, however, had gone for the '_formal cowboy_' look with the long black leather duster and matching pants. However, Cid informed him that a cowboy hat would be inappropriate at the performance. Lauren opted for a simple black strapless dress.

The three SeeDs stepped out of the limo and were immediately escorted to the side waiting area of the queue. Mrs. McCay planned everything, even sitting in an opera box… with her as an escort.

"_Great,_" thought Squall, "_my first date in a year and it's with a seventy-five-year-old woman. Who is showing way too much cleavage._"

The tight scarlet dress and matching fire engine red lipstick on the senior was drawing attention from all who passed by. Squall tried not to make eye contact with anyone. Now he was pretty sure he had made the leap from mercenary to gigolo in 4.7 seconds. Mrs. McCay held out her hand for Squall to take. He did with an expression of disgust that only his closest friends could differentiate. To everyone else he was being the perfect gentleman.

Irvine leaned over to Squall whispering, "Score! I don't think she's wearing a bra."

Squall did not acknowledge the gunman's unwanted commentary.

* * *

Waiting for this ordeal to begin was the hardest part. At last, the lights went down and the orchestra started to play. The first sequence wasn't too bad. Women danced around with elegance. Squall even had to admit the beauty of it, if only to his inner-self. As the dancers cleared, a carriage appeared from off stage. He could see a couple in the horse-driven cart.

"_Obviously, the stars of our little show here,_" he mused to himself. "_Either that or villains are traveling in style now. But who would bring live horses on stage, what brilliant person thought of that one_?"

His sardonic musings were interrupted when the man got out of carriage and was definitely wearing tights. "_Great_... _well that just made the evening a success._"

The woman wore a white dress that glimmered under the stage lights. He could tell she had dark hair pulled up in a sequined barrette, but could only make out her back right now. This performance, for some unknown reason, improved tenfold. After the guy frolicked around stage for a few minutes, he went back to the carriage to retrieve the ballerina. When the dancer stepped out of the carriage, his heart skipped a beat.

"Rinoa, shit… is that Rinoa?" Irvine leaned over to Squall. The expression on the commander's face answered his question. "Damn, she looks hot… um… I mean good." The commander wished he hadn't said anything, but in all reality, Squall never heard a word. He retreated into that place where only Squall Leonhart resided.

Searching back on memories, he recalled a time when she talked about being in dance. Something her father had pushed upon her along with piano and voice lessons. The type of social thing those 'elite' children of Deling were almost required to do by some unwritten law. Rinoa said she had been pretty good, but he never imagined this good. He almost couldn't move, watching every polished motion she made.

"_God, Irvine was right, she is more gorgeous than ever_."

Mrs. McCay leaned over, informing Squall that was General Caraway's daughter. Squall knew; Squall knew everything except why she left.

* * *

_One year and a lifetime ago…_

"Squall… Squall!"

The energetic Selphie almost collided with him in the hall for what had to be the hundredth time.

"Guess what, several of the students from Trabia Garden are going to be spending a week with us! Since Rinoa is out of town, I'm already having someone use her room, but there are still about fifteen students that need to be placed. I know that you and Zell are leaving on assignment tomorrow. I was wondering if we could use your room to accommodate someone? One of my best friends will be among them. Lauren is trustworthy and won't touch any of your stuff. Can she please stay in your room please, please, please...?"

"Fine, whatever." He started to walk away, as all this happiness wasn't good for his complexion. As an afterthought he added, "Don't know how long we'll be gone. I'll call before the mission ends. Make sure whomever… or whatever…. in my room, is out by then, got it?"

"Thanks Squall you are _so_ sweet!"

Selphie ran over, giving him an enormous hug. She knew Squall still didn't like being touched, but over the last year, he was getting better day-by-day. He reached down, patting her back as if to say, "_It's all right_. _Now get off_." Selphie quickly got the hint and ran down the hall bouncing with joyfulness. Seeing her Trabian friends again would be wonderful.

Four days later, the mission was canceled. Squall called informing Irvine that he'd be back sometime around dawn. He wanted his room back for the sole purpose of collapsing in bed. By the time he arrived home, almost twenty-four hours would have passed without sleep.

When he reached Garden, it was late, or was it really early? Well, for a fact it _was_ dark. Undressing in his room, Squall headed immediately for a quick shower. After getting out and drying himself with a towel, he looked over in his bed and saw Rinoa lying there. Her dark hair was faultless in the moonlight. If he had been more alert, he might have been angry about the invasion of his privacy. But, he had given her a key for emergencies. In his mind, this wasn't one, but lack of sleep kept him from pursuing any negative emotion. Although he had to admit, some part of him liked returning to someone, to her. But, he would never let on.

Foolish pride has its price.

Putting on boxers, he towel-dried his hair and crawled into bed. Reaching over, he turned to the sleeping form and put his arm cautiously around her. Rinoa had only been in his room one night before, but nothing happened, he just lay next to her. Touching another human being was not a big move for anyone one else. But for him, the significance was great; opening up was something that took time. Holding her at night was the first major step he was taking. It was so late, he fell right to sleep holding her secure.

* * *

Rinoa couldn't wait to return to Garden. Spending time with her _'_father' was something she was committed to doing. Trying to make peace after all the tragic events in her life, it just seemed like the responsible action. The two still had very different opinions on everything, from politics to pizza toppings, but she would try to establish a relationship. Sometimes Rinoa felt that was all she did, a balancing act between two stubborn men… two men she dearly loved.

After a few days in Deling, Caraway was called away. Anti-government rallies were threatening to endanger upcoming elections. So instead of sitting alone in the big, desolate mansion, she decided to go back early and surprise Squall. When the train arrived at Balamb it was early in the morning, she wanted to go directly to the person she missed most.

She grabbed her key card to his room 'for emergencies only' he had told her. It was against regulations to have another SeeD's card, especially one of the opposite gender. However, seeing that had been over two weeks it her mind, this was an emergency. She slid the card in and opened the door.

Rinoa couldn't believe what she saw. Squall lying in bed with his arm draped over someone else. She held her breath, taking a step closer; Rinoa could see that the woman was not wearing any clothes. From the looks of it, neither was Squall. The woman's long black hair was flowing onto the silky pillow. The sensation in her stomach made her feel sick. She could feel the bile rising to her mouth, words escaped her and thoughts betrayed her.

Squall Leonhart only kissed her a few of times, never anything like… like… _this_. She was aware he wanted to move slow, and with good reasoning. Positive she was giving him all the time he needed. Never pressuring, but always there when he needed her.

Or _not_ there when he didn't.

But now, he did _this_ with her, whoeve_r 'her' _was. The tears were beginning to cloud her vision. Rinoa shook her head, but still no words came out. Finally, she was able to whisper the words '_no...please...no'_. Turning she closed the door, not only physically but symbolically on that part of her life.

It was still very early and nobody was up at Garden. Rinoa Heartilly walked out of that place swearing she would never return.

Not to Garden, not to him.

* * *

_**Beep, beep, beep**_

The alarm clock cut through the stillness of the air. Lauren uttered several profanities at the bothersome machine… It was time to get up, take a shower, and face yet another exhilarated day of countless lectures. Sleeping in the nude was a habit she had indulged in for a very long time, but as she turned to get up, she let out a chilling scream. Squall opened his eyes and froze like a deer in headlights.

"Who the Hell are you?" he demanded. The dark-haired girl sat up quickly pulling the sheets around her unclothed chest. For a moment, they just stared at each other, Lauren in shock, Squall in utter fear.

When his mind settled from disbelief he demanded, "Get out!"

Lauren looked down sheepishly at the sheets and embarrassingly replied, "Hello, you must be Squall. Um... Selphie let me use your room and I guess you came back from your mission."

Squall focused his eyes anywhere but at the exposed woman lying in his bed.

"That is Commander Squall Leonhart to _you_. I called, told them the mission was cut short. I thought you… were someone else, didn't mean to touch you. I'm going into the bathroom. Please get dressed and leave, as commander I'm ordering you never to mention this."

Lauren nodded in mutual understanding, recognizing how it might appear to others. Squall left, she got dressed, exiting his room and neither spoke of the incident again.

"_Terrific,_" Squall thought, "_the first time I see a naked woman in my bed I feel like throwing up. Her hair, I just thought it was Rinoa last night_." He splashed water on his face glad she was several thousand kilometers away in Deling.

Rinoa didn't know where to go. She made the decision to go back to Timber, hopeful to meet up with Zone and Watts. They always had treated her like a princess and right now, she needed that more than anything. After a few days, Rinoa left a message with Quistis expressing she would be staying in Deling for a little longer, and then would be heading abroad with her cousin. After making excuses for over three weeks, Rinoa finally knew what had to be done. Taking Griever off her necklace, she placed it in a box with a simple note.

_Squall,  
The last year has been wonderful,  
but it's time we move on.  
I found someone else,  
please don't try to find me.  
I don't want to hear from you.  
--Rinoa._

It was a lie, a painful one at that. Rinoa had not found anyone else, and knew she probably never would. No longer caring about the future, she just wanted him to think she'd moved on in the present. Lies were easier to tell than facing the truth. Rinoa felt as she wasn't good enough for him. At least in her opinion, she must have not been intelligent enough, pretty enough, or had a large enough upper body. She just didn't know _why_ he did it, but she knew Squall Leonhart would never hurt her again.

When Squall received the ring back with the note, he could manage nothing more than to stare at it. He was at a loss of how _she _could hurt him so much. The commander knew he was opening up slowly, okay… very slowly. Emotions took time, she meant more to him than the heavens and the stars combined. She had to know that, even if he lacked the courage to show it. Squall wanted her to be his first, his first in every way: The first one in his heart, the first one he shared himself fully with, and the first one to look into their children's eyes. Maybe if he had been able to communicate better, to not hide behind fear, none of this would have happened.

Squall tightly grasped the ring and placed it in the box, along with the note. He put the black velvet container in his dresser, knowing he didn't want it now. Ironic, it had been with him all his life… he wasn't thrilled when Zell gave it to Rinoa in the first place. Now he detested seeing the metallic band. Swearing to himself it would never be worn again. The ring would only remind of the pain and heartache she caused. It would also forever remind him never to let anyone in again, as the anguish wasn't worth the price. He closed the drawer, sat on his bed, and in the first time in his life… he felt tears on his cheeks.

He never cried; he never had a reason, until now.

But, that was then…

* * *

The music increased until it reached its pinnacle. The entire dance company returned to stage for the final curtain call, now it was over. He watched her bow gracefully to the audience. The male dancer grabbed her slender hand, giving her a bouquet of large pink roses. They were beautiful. Squall wasn't sure if it was the roses, or the woman behind them that held the true beauty. The scene was one of the most memorable events he had ever witnessed.

Leaning over, Maude elbowed him roughly with her bony arms. She thought it very discourteous that he was not clapping, nor joining the audience in a standing ovation. Squall couldn't move at this point, he wasn't even sure if his legs worked. Let alone if he had skillfulness to applaud and stand simultaneously. Mrs. McCay might as well have told him to go dance on stage himself; the results would be the same. Squall just sat spellbound looking at Rinoa.

When everyone was leaving, Maude reached over to Squall more than persistent for a male escort. She had already set her sights on the commander. But, he was oblivious to anything the overanxious lady implied. Albeit not so subtle, the advances were left unanswered. He finally was brought back to reality when Mrs. McCay informed him of the rest of the evening's itinerary. They would be going across the boulevard to the reception that followed.

Squall was still motionless, "_Would she be there?_ _Will the other man be there?_" He didn't want to go, but curiosity told him he had to find out about her…about her life. Rinoa didn't want him in it, but maybe he could bring some closure to this unbearable event. No, that wasn't ever going to be possible, but he did have to try to comprehend.

* * *

The reception hall was adorned with gold trim and accented with floral centerpieces. Irvine and Lauren had stayed steps behind the commander, allowing his personal space. The gunman could only imagine the emotions his best friend must be going through. Lauren had sensed something amiss, but just couldn't quite put her finger on it.

Selphie and Lauren had again become best friends. When a position opened at Balamb, Lauren was more than anxious to put in for a transfer. The commander approved the request, with the utmost professionalism. Lauren felt comfortable around the others, even after the whole '_Squall episode_'. Now that a year had passed, she laughed about it internally. Although never telling a soul, just as Squall made her promise. She knew it was for the best, as her boyfriend may not have believed the far-fetched circumstance either.

Squall scanned the room, seeing Rinoa positioned alone in a corner. Looking just as beautiful as she did on stage, if not more. She was wearing an antique-ivory dress, brunette hair pulled up eloquently. The dress emphasized her features, making her look even more angelic. It was tight fitting around the top, falling gently off her shoulders. The beadwork could only be compared to the most exquisite of hand-sown artistry, rivaling anything worn by royalty. The dress went into her waist, and then came softly from her hips.

More than physical beauty, he noticed the aura that surrounded her. Rinoa was never the type to be standing alone in a corner… that was him. But there she stood, almost a mirror image of his former self. He didn't know how long he stared at her, time somehow seemed irrelevant. Part of him wanted to leave, run away, but a larger part wanted to stay. Subconsciously he wished for her to look at him, to smile… to be the person he remembered.

His daydreams were interrupted when Mrs. McCay blocked his view; it was a view he didn't _ever_ care to see. Her cleavage positioned too close for comfort, and he wasn't sure… but he believed Maude had just licked her lips in a seductive motion. Either that or her dentures had just popped out, he hoped for the latter. The fear in his eyes must have been a little too noticeable, as the elderly woman backed slightly away. Which was good, as the amount of perfume she had just applied was strong enough to rival a rotting corpse.

Finally, he again had a straight view to Rinoa, but was saddened to see her slowly walking toward a portly fellow. She never ventured too far from her pillar, never more than a few paces. When she moved, the chiffon skirt flowed with her, not allowing him to catch sight of her feet. It looked as if she was floating. In her arms, she still held the bouquet of flowers presented to her after the performance.

At that moment, _poor-timing_ _Maude_ snatched Squall's arm, dragging him towards the one he had been studying. Irvine and Lauren followed carefully behind. Squall's heart ceased all function as they drew closer. It was in that second, he realized where they were heading. _To her_.

"Rinoa deary."

The young woman quickly crooked her head toward the wanton senior. She gave the annoying voice a congenial welcome, showing the smile he longed to see again - the one haunting his dreams every night.

"Maude McCay, wonderful to see you in attendance this evening. You have outdone yourself yet again… another wonderful reception. Hope you are enjoying yourself this evening."

Unknown to Squall, Maude winked at him, placing one hand on the center of his back.

"More than you know, sweetie… Oh, I want you to meet my handsome _new_ _friend_ and his companions."

Rinoa opened her mouth to speak, but was rudely interrupted. Out of nowhere, a middle-aged pompous man pushed Squall out of the way. "Mrs. McCay we have a predicament and need you right away… the caterer and the head maître d' are in the middle of a lover's quarrel! Hors d'oeuvres and caviar are flying through the kitchen at an appalling rate. _And_ they served a chardonnay! It's most… _inexcusable_."

Maude rolled her eyes. "When will I ever learn?" Turning to Squall, she gave him a slight pat on the lower back. He never noticed, focused on a far more significant person. "Duty calls, please introduce yourselves for me. I'll be back in a jiffy honey." With that, she sauntered off with the gentleman.

"Hello, I'm Rinoa Heartilly." She looked directly at the three people standing in front of her.

"Wow," expressed Lauren in awe. "You dance magnificently, I saw you about eight months ago when you performed at the Winter Holiday Festival."

Squall couldn't believe it. She was looking right at him, and then at Irvine. She acted as if she didn't know them. They could have been anyone else in the hall; it didn't matter. "_Doesn't she remember? Or is this how she is going to play? Fine, whatever, two can play this little game_." Squall glared at her. If looks could kill, his would have been deadly.

"Thanks, I always loved dancing since I was a child." Rinoa's bright smile could still light up the room. Right now, it didn't make a dent in his heart; his anger shaded any light.

Looking at her with respect, Lauren continued the conversation. "I always wanted to be introduced to you. You're quite the legend where I'm from."

A lump in the throat kept Squall from speaking as the girl continued. "I transferred from Trabia to Balamb Garden about a year ago. For so many years, I wanted to meet you. But you had already left when I arrived. I personally want to thank you for helping with the time-compression matter."

With the mention of Garden, the grin on Rinoa's face dulled. "Well that was lifetimes ago... how are things..." She stopped herself, no matter how much she wanted to continue. "I'm sorry… never mind."

Abruptly a young gentleman called to her, and Rinoa turned her head towards him. A shadow of the smile she had earlier reappeared. Leaning over, he whispered something into her ear, and she reacted with a slight nod. "Oh this is Robert. He was the male lead in the performance tonight."

Walking up to the three, he offered his hand to the commander. In true form, Squall didn't return the gesture. "Well… okay then. Rin it's time to leave."

With that, he grabbed her arm, immediately escorting her toward the door. Rinoa turned back in the general direction of the group thoughtfully adding, "It was nice meeting everybody. I hope to see you again. Next time maybe we can chat longer." Then without a single word to Squall or Irvine, she left.

Still confused, Irvine was the first of the two men to speak. "Commander, you all right?" Squall continued to scrutinize Robert as he guided Rinoa out of the building.

"I'm fine." The answer short and discourteous.

"_Why?_" Squall asked himself. "_Why would she act like that? It was just so… if that's how Rinoa wants it, so be it_."

* * *

Holding on tightly to his upper arm, Rinoa walked the few steps up the stoop. "Thanks, Rob it just gets harder to hide… At every occasion all I think about is going home, getting away from everyone." She looked down to the ground, softly tapping her feet on the concrete. "You know those people were from Garden. I shouldn't care, but I just wonder how _he_ is doing." Robert held her arm until they were safely inside Caraway's mansion.

"Look Rinoa you are my favorite cousin, but we can't keep hiding this forever. Someday people are going to find out no matter how hard you try. We've managed for six months to keep this a secret from most of Deling. The challenge gets excessively harder at every turn. Please, think about telling the truth to everyone. No one will pity you."

"No Robert, they will. They will pity me… that poor, unfortunate girl. I don't want people looking at me as someone different, but I guess it's not like I could tell if they did." She finished the comment with a diminutive giggle. "Just a little longer please."

"Fine." Was the only response Robert made. For a moment, they stood in silence, and then he handed her a cane. "Guess I don't have to turn the light on in your room."

Rinoa pleasantly smiled, elbowing him hard in the stomach. "Funny, ha ha. I know right now you're making _that_ face at me. So stop it." Closing the door, she turned around, feeling her way upstairs into the dark abyss.


	2. Sunrise

-Nope, I still do not own any of the characters of Final Fantasy.

**_Chapter Two: _****_Sunrise_**

It just didn't seem right, as if something was missing. As Squall peered out the train window, the entire evening played over in his mind like a movie reel. A movie forever etched on film, one with no words. Her actions spoke louder than words ever could. He mentally acted out the scene, her standing, smiling, and never acknowledging him. He came to only one conclusion. No, Rinoa wouldn't have just disregarded her entire past with him.

But true to form, once a verdict was reached… it was quickly overturned.

"_Would she?_ _Of course not, we did spend over a year together, and she was the one who left me._ _Why would she be angry with me?_ _Rinoa was the one who found someone else, moved on even when I could not._ _Was that him tonight?_ _Maybe that's why she wouldn't acknowledge me,_ _what a bitch_," he thought. "_Seifer was right about her, she is a spoiled little brat… run to another man, then back to daddy when she feels like it._"

Now she had reached a social stature Squall couldn't measure up to, nor did he particular want to. "_Let_ _her have her wealth, her recognition, and her male companions_… _whatever_." He closed his eyes in resentment, even as he was thinking the words; he couldn't accept them as true. "_Why do I still feel like this?_"

Irvine reached over, tapping him lightly on the shoulder. "You could always call her, ask what happened. Maybe it's not the best approach, but at least you'd know the truth. Some things just need to be spoken. Not in a note, but in person. Rinoa is still the girl we knew and helped us two years ago. Trust her."

With that final piece of friendly advice, Irvine closed his eyes. The cowboy started to fall asleep as the train gently swayed back and forth on its way back to Balamb.

"_Maybe_," Squall thought, "_but what if I get wounded in the process? Maybe reality will hurt more than pretending I never existed_."

With a thousand thoughts crossing his mind, Squall closed his eyes and joined Irvine in the peaceful slumber of the train.

* * *

The next day went on as usual, life does go on. Squall sat at his desk and filed through all the papers that lay in his 'in' box. Working was now somehow out of the question. The documents just seemed to never end. Yet, there was no way he could keep concentrating on work. He picked the pile up from his desk, and then cast it down just as hastily.

"I have to get out of here." With that, he seized his gunblade, marching directly to the training center.

Slaughtering Grats was just about as entertaining as watching the paint in the Quad dry, but at least it kept him entertained, sort of. There was a class going on in the T-Rex area. As much as Squall wanted to face something more ferocious than an overgrown weed, he just didn't want to face anybody of the human variety right now. Just as he was again getting lost in his innermost thoughts, Quistis and Selphie appeared from around the corner.

"Hey Squall," Selphie chirped in her sprightly way. "Aren't you supposed to be commanding or something, or is today a national holiday I wasn't aware of?"

The look Squall returned pretty much answered her question.

"Selphie, I want to be alone now, please."

He nodded at the two girls as if to discharge himself, turned away, and walked deeper into the training center.

"Selph, I'm worried about him," Quistis softly spoke with a concerned, motherly tone. "Lauren and Irvine filled me in on what happened last night. Rinoa just seemed too compassionate to ignore him. Then again, she seemed too sweet to abandon him… especially for another man."

The commander disappeared from view, leaving the girls completely alone. "Selphie… you're still good with computers, right?"

The younger girl nodded.

"Let's go see what we can find out about Rinoa for the last year. If she is performing, there should be some information about her in the press archives. It's a start."

Selphie beamed as the two walked off to Quistis' room, eager to see what they could collect on their former comrade.

* * *

Zell sprawled out in Irvine's fluffy reclining chair, as the cowboy recalled the events of last evening.

"Really, she just ignored you guys? Not even a hello?"

Irvine tried to explain again, "She said _hello_ and talked to us. Well, only to Lauren, but Rinoa looked right at us, acting as if she didn't know who we were from a hole in the wall. I told Squall to call her today, but we have a better chance getting a Ruby Dragon to be your new roommate."

Zell thought for a moment. "Maybe she really didn't recognize you guys, maybe somehow she lost all the memories dealing with time compression."

Irvine shook his head again. "No, she mentioned Garden, seemed genuinely emotional about this place. Rin just didn't speak to either of us directly."

Looking at the phone on his desk, Irvine decided on a direct course of action.

"You know what, Zell? I'm going to call her. I know Squall. He'll never do it. Let's just see if we can figure out what's going on in that pretty little head of Rin's."

Irvine reached for the phone, "Hello, operator?"

* * *

Rinoa sat on her bed, she was exhausted. Why did she not ask the female SeeD last night about Garden, about Squall?

"_Because if he realized you couldn't see, he would just feel nothing but pity for you Rinoa. That's the last thing that I'll ever let happen. That man will never know how much he hurt me. He'll also never know how much I miss him._"

The phone rang, wiping away her momentary weakness. Rinoa felt on her nightstand, finally finding the ringing phone. She picked up the receiver, but still was lost within her thoughts and managed to drop the handset onto the floor.

"Crap," she mumbled. Getting down from the bed, she rummaged around for the fallen phone.

_"Hello, Rinoa is that you?"_

"Um yeah...who is this?"

_"It's Irvine."_

Rinoa's head started to spin, as the worst thoughts plagued her mind.

"_Oh my god is every thing all right, is Squall hurt?_" It was her first reaction. But she would be damned to let Irvine hear her concern. So, she forged a smile, speaking in the sweetest voice she possibly could.

"Wow Irvine! How are you doing? It's been like a year. So how's life at the Garden treating you these days? How's Selphie? You guys still together?"

"_Been a year, what is she talking about? It was last night. Okay, this is getting eerie._" Irvine decided to play along with the charade.

"Garden's doing well. Selphie and I are as content as ever. Um... speaking of which, her and I were going to be in Deling next week, thought we could get together for lunch."

"Oh Irvine, wish I could. I'll be out of town all next week. Boy, I really wish I could see you two. Unfortunately responsibility calls, work requires me... us... Robert and I, to be out of town next week."

Great now she was lying to one of her best friends. Not only about being out of town next week, but also pretending that Robert was someone else beside her cousin – **_Ick! _**

_"What am I getting myself into?"_

_"Oh, that's too bad. What line of employment are you in these days?"_

"_Think… think what kind of work…out of town?_" Just then, in the background she heard the television infomercial. "I'm in sales... food processors. Yeah, they are fantastic! They process all varieties of… of food."

"_Oh, I'm going to hell for this._" She smacked her forehead with her empty hand, all the time shaking with emotion.

"Food processors, um... yeah… that's nice. Didn't even know you could cook." Irvine didn't swallow this for one minute, but wanted her to keep talking. Maybe she would accidentally give out something informative.

Rinoa held palm to her head; her lies were getting deeper. "Well with the Pross-O-Matic 9000 even I can cook. It slices, it dices, and even makes rose radishes for those very special occasions." She was trying to listen to the television word for word. "If you're interested it's only four easy installments of $19.95."

"Well Rin, let me contemplate that one for a bit."

Zell was desperately trying to snatch the phone away from Irvine. From his end, this conversation was strangest thing he'd heard come out of Irvine's mouth in a long time... and that was saying a lot.

"Well yeah, I better go now. Say 'hi' to everyone for me. Tell them I 'miss em' and wish them well in life. Bye." On that note, she hung up the phone. Still on the floor, she curled up and started crying.

"Why did it all turn out like this?"

* * *

Irvine was just as confused as ever. "That was the weirdest conversation I've ever had with the opposite sex. But, on the optimistic side, think I may end up with a new food processor out of it."

Zell just sat on the over-sized chair and gave Irvine one of his joking smiles. "Food processor... the kind that makes those pretty roses?"

"We need to go talk to the girls, something's not right here. I know it's not any of our business, but I still think those two people need each other more than we could possibly understand." They looked at each other in agreement, leaving directly for Quistis' room.

* * *

The four 'investigators' sat in the instructor's dorm, determined to figure out the mystery that lay before them.

"…And that was pretty much our whole conversation," Irvine explained. "It was very… odd."

Quistis nodded in agreement. She and Selphie had been working on the computer all afternoon, looking for old news-clippings.

"What we've found out so far is that about ten months ago Rinoa joined the ballet company. There are several pictures of her around that time. She looks reasonably content, given the circumstances. A few interviews with her, nothing that stands as out of the ordinary."

"Wait!" Selphie cried from behind the large computer monitor. "Come here. I found an article that's about six months old, and it mentions an accident. The names of the injured were being withheld, but sources close to the hospital said it was the daughter of a high-ranking bureaucrat! Then the next article about Rinoa is approximately three months after that. It's like she wasn't doing anything during that period."

"She was hurt," Zell spoke up. "She was hurt and couldn't perform. Look, this article about the ballet refers to the current lead as the 'understudy' during those months. Rinoa couldn't dance for a couple of months. Here is a first picture of her after the accident. She still looks good, but something doesn't seem… well like Rinoa."

"So whatever this was, caused her to pay no attention to us last night. Yet, she remembered me on the phone, very polite, congenial, and almost pleased to hear from me. Not the type to have just ignored me the night before."

Quistis looked like she was hit with a ton of bricks. "Irvine you said that Lauren was the only one to actually_ speak_ to her, right? You and Squall were never introduced, you two never spoke. What if she didn't talk to you because, she didn't _know_ it was you."

"Quisty, she looked right at Squall, she looked right at me. How could she have not known... unless she didn't '_see_' us?"

The silence was deafening, in that moment they figured out the missing piece of the puzzle. The only logical answer.

Irvine stated the obvious. "Damn, that guy that was helping her… that man walked Rinoa through the crowd so she wouldn't run into anyone. She didn't_ see _us."

Quistis and Selphie could barely contain their emotion. The men, in their own ways, tried to contain theirs.

Zell spoke up, "I don't think we should tell Squall any of this until we find out for sure. The last thing we need to be doing is upsetting him further, or spreading false rumors. We're going to Deling tomorrow."

* * *

Squall lay in his bed looking intently at the ceiling, over thinking can sometimes get one into trouble. He just had to know about Rinoa's life, he needed to know. As much as he tried to detest her, he couldn't. In fact, it was just the opposite.

"_Why didn't I ever go after her?_" The thoughts echoed the feelings of his heart. Somehow, everything came back to him… he was always at fault. Always. No matter what happened in his life, he ruined it. However, nothing hurt as much as losing her… nothing. Just then, a pounding on the door woke him out of his daydream… more like the nightmare that his life had become.

"Squall, it's just Irvine. Headmaster Cid gave the five us a mission for tomorrow. We'll be heading out at the crack of dawn. You don't have to get up. Just let me know if you're still breathing in there."

"Whatever." The only reply to his annoying friend. At least this might keep my mind focused on work for a while.

* * *

The others had stayed up most of the night working on strategy. First, they needed to verify their suspicions. Next, they had to figure out how to inform Squall. If it were true, maybe it would be more convincing if they showed him.

Shortly after arriving in Deling City, Zell and Quistis decided on heading to Caraway's mansion. After hours of planning the preceding evening, they finally decided on the simple, straightforward approach. Quistis rang the doorbell, after a few moments an elderly maid answered the door.

"Is Rin here?" The plan, albeit a straightforward one, called for them to use her nickname. They figured it might keep the hired help from asking questions. And as according to Zell's idea, it did. The maid asked them to wait there, shutting the door hastily in their faces. About three minutes later, the door unfastened slowly.

"Rinoa!" Quistis ran up and hugged the girl before she had a chance to close the door. Zell and Quistis exchanged looks. Before she continued, "Zell, Selphie, and I just wanted to see you. We miss you so much."

Rinoa stood embracing Quistis, as if she was long lost family. In a way, she was. "I miss you all too, but I got to go. Quisty, I have the flu and couldn't bear for you to catch it. It's really nice to see the three of you again."

Rinoa let go of the affectionate embrace, turning toward her residence. The door almost slammed in the SeeD's face.

"Odd," explained Zell "Isn't it impressive _to **see** _Selphie when she's eating breakfast three blocks away."

"I know Zell, I know."

* * *

"Irvy, can you please pass the salt?"

"Anything for you darling. Want anything else while I'm at it… coffee, tea, or me?"

Selphie rolled her eyes at the gunman's comments. "Well now that's imaginative, but no thanks I'm fine."

Just then, Selphie heard the chimes on the restaurant door sound. Quistis and Zell came walking in the small Deling Cafe. Zell simply nodded to her.

It was understood… it was true.

"_Who's going to tell Squall?_" The one simple, unspoken question on all their minds.

Sitting down quietly, Quistis started looking at the menu. She glanced up, making direct eye contact with the others. Each trying to hide the nervousness they felt. Squall noticed the expressions the four were exchanging. Moreover, the group that would never shut up now mysteriously ran out of words.

"Why did you guys bring me here? There is_ no _mission. Part of being commander is always educating oneself on the party who hired us. Guess what, no one did. I just wanted to know what you people were up to. Why back to Deling? Why back here?"

The instructor inhaled, slowly Quistis released air. "_Here it goes, now or never,_" she mentally prepared herself before answering. "Squall, you're like a brother to me." She bit her lip before continuing, not exactly sure how to say this. "Um… after Selphie and I heard the events of the other evening, it just didn't make any sense to either of us. So, we had to know the truth. It wasn't like Rinoa to just ignore you."

All were quiet. The background noise of other patrons talking and clinking silverware was the only thing they could hear. The anger in Squall's eyes was evident. They had no right to interfere with his life, and the resentment showed. Quistis tried desperately to explain before the commander walked out, and hell knew he would.

"We found clippings in the newspaper. Squall, Rinoa was in a severe car accident about six months ago. Please, you just need to go speak to her yourself."

With the idea of 'his Rinoa' being in some kind of agony, he jumped out of the chair. '_His Rinoa_,' as if she was some kind of possession to be owned.

"_When had I ever considered her a possession?_"

She was always more than that, not an item, but someone who brought enjoyment to his monotonous life. "_Damn it, this is not going to happen again._"

Before anyone could say another word, Squall Leonhart was out the door.

* * *

Quickly Squall raced down the industrious streets of Deling. It was almost 9:00am and the city was in full swing. Merchants were selling goods on the corners, executives walked with briefcases in hand, and children played outside the schoolyard.

But he saw none of this. To him there was only thing he wanted to see.

Caraway's mansion was quickly approaching. He didn't even remember the journey from the cafe to the manor; now he just stood at the door.

"_I have to know_."

Squall sounded the doorbell. A thousand fragments of memories ran through his mind. What would she think about him being there? Would she welcome him warmly, would she even speak to him after all this?

A younger servant answered the door this time, smiling and friendly. He couldn't let Rinoa know who it was; she would never agree to see him. Squall would have to act as if he were there on official business.

"I have a telegram for General Caraway's daughter Rinoa... Caraway."

The maid smiled at the striking man before her, "Well right house, wrong last name but close enough, hold on."

Squall wanted to make it look as if he had never met her. A messenger may not know the difference; the wrong last name would help demonstrate it, right? Now he didn't even know what he was doing or saying anymore. All form of intelligence seemed to be ebbing away from him. He had felt this way before…confused, frustrated, and unsure.

Anytime he ever looked at her, and the smile that still haunted him.

Minutes later Rinoa opened the door, standing there like an angel. Her hair back in a ponytail, blue jeans, white tee shirt, and barefoot. He had never noticed her tiny feet before. They seemed so flawless, diminutive, and perfect. Yet, he could see the stress dancing had placed upon them. But it didn't matter… they were still perfect in his eyes. She looked so different than last time, when he saw her at the reception. Rinoa looked like when she was his girlfriend… no he corrected himself… just like when she lived at Garden.

"I'm General Caraway's daughter, I was told you had a telegram for me."

Squall looked at Rinoa, who was still smiling. After a few moments of awkward silence, her smile began to fade. She still tried to remain pleasant, as was her nature. "Do you have a telegram for me or not, sir?"

Squall realized then what was wrong. The accident, the way she looked at him. Or actually, _didn't _look at him.

"Oh God Rinoa, you can't see me, can you?"

Squall observed her face go from slightly aggravated to complete shock. He knew her too well, she was going to turn and run. Squall had to stop her; he reached out and grabbed the arm of the only person he ever loved.

Loved?

_"I'm not letting you disappear again," _his mind called, although he couldn't form any spoken words. His heart raced. So many things he wanted to say, wanted to hear, but his voice escaped him.

He needed answers.

"Squall…" The only thing she could articulate.

Tears were freely coming to her eyes, without restraint. When he first touched her, Rinoa felt emotions that hadn't been felt in over a year. She had to stop these feelings at all costs.

"Get the hell away from me," she gasped between tears. Squall just stood holding her arm. The more she tried to struggle with him, the harder his grip became. He could _feel_ her nightmare, her pain. He wanted to reach over and hold her, never letting go.

Abruptly, a younger man opened the door and clutched Squall's chest.

"Robert," Rinoa cried. "Please don't hurt him!"

Her cousin, and now only friend, lunged for Squall's neck. Robert didn't know what kind of business this man at the door could have with Rinoa; he was frightened for his cousin. Rob managed to grab her by the shirt, pushing her inside, safeguarding her from the lunatic.

"Get the hell away from here before I call the police, _sicko_."

With that, the door was slammed in Squall's his face. He just stood there before repeating, "You can't see me, can you?"


	3. Daybreak

-Amazingly nothing has happened since the last chapter, I still do not own Final Fantasy or the characters.

**_Chapter Three: Daybreak _**

Squall stood with his eyes transfixed on the elaborate front door, as gradually he gathered enough strength to turn around. Not self-confident of his own abilities to rationalize.

"_Rinoa is blind? Does that give explanation to her leaving?_"

No, his friends mentioned the collision was six months ago, she left him over a year ago. He had to get back to them; right now, he needed their help to figure it out. No, he confessed to himself, "_I have to get back to them because I can't do this on my own right now. I need them._"

* * *

He quickly headed back toward the small café, again not sure of how he returned. Only knowing he _was_ there. The journey itself seemed as elusive as the truth he sought. Opening the door, he noticed the four SeeDs were finishing their home-style breakfast. A simple luxury compared to the cafeteria food.

Zell was the first to notice his return. Unfortunately, he was stuffing his face full of pancakes, and only mumbled syllables came out.

"Kall… ear."

"What?" Irvine asked.

"Ewwwww that's disgusting, close your mouth!" Selphie was more than willing to point out that small fact.

Sighing angrily, Zell motioned over to the door with the tip of his fork, carelessly flipping a piece of sausage across the room. The group ignored the subsequent scream from the booth behind them, as all eyes were focused on Squall.

"Oh, I get it… Squall's here!" Selphie happily interpreted for the rest of the group, who were now obvious to that fact.

Nobody wanted to be the first to talk, Squall finally broke the awkward silence. "I want to stay in the city tonight. Does anybody else need a room?" It wasn't an order, but they understood the unspoken request. All four nodded, he needed them right now, and they knew it. Squall was the commander, they would follow him into battle. But, most importantly, he was their friend.

As their leader turned and walked out of the restaurant, they could see the uncertainty in his steps. He was a warrior… he never got upset. Did he? The four were more determined then ever to see this through… and to the ending that their friend deserved.

"Great," groaned Zell. "Now I have to pay for my own breakfast. Next time let's tell him _after_ he pays the check." With that, the others turned around and in unison threw their napkins at the martial artist's face. "What? What did I say?"

* * *

They walked toward the hotel, and only the sound of heels clicking against pavement was heard amongst the group. Irvine noticed the footsteps of the beloved, hyperactive fighter scampering from behind.

"Hey cowboy, you said she was a dancer right? How did she handle that being blind?"

Irvine thought for a moment, trying to recall back to the performance. Rinoa was either sitting in the carriage or dancing with her partner, never out of arm's reach. The same man who'd been at the reception, was never more than a stone's throw away.

"When I was at Galbadia Garden, we did the same training maneuvers every morning. It was repetition. An exercise all cadets knew by heart. For almost five years… I did it, every morning, every afternoon, and every night. I could do that routine with my eyes closed, and still not fall out of step. If Rinoa had been in ballet for years, she would know by repetition. If she would happen to be a movement off, her partner would be there to correct her. She really didn't have to _see_, just _feel_."

Zell understood exactly what Irvine was saying. He had known his Karate kata by mere repetition, until the actions became part of him.

Looking over at the large structure to his right the fighter had an inspiration; it was the performing art center. "_Rinoa would have to rehearse at one point. Could Squall get in and talk to her_?" his mind wondered, "_Of course, he was a SeeD and something as effortless as getting into a building unnoticed wouldn't be that taxing._"

Zell knew that for the present, Squall was a man rather than a SeeD. A man who was determined on finding out the truth… the truth of the one person who shattered his heart. Getting in was going to be less challenging than killing a level two bug bite… with no wings attached… almost dead. With that theory in mind, he hurried to the building, checking with the security guard.

After a short lived conversation, Zell returned. Catching up with Irvine and the gang, he eagerly told them, "She'll be done with practice at 5:30 this evening. The guard was more then willing to help. Dude remembered us from the_ 'Ulti'_ thing, assumes we are still friends with Rinoa. Well, _we are_. Er… don't want to make sound like we're not. But he doesn't know that's been over a year. Told us to come back about a quarter after, and he'll let us in."

Shaking his head, Irvine greatly admired the vigorous boy. "Zell Dincht, I've never known anybody to come up with the simplest, most straight-forward plans… continuously having them work out. Really, it's creepy. Next time we face someone like Ultimecia, we're letting you do the preparations. You have a keen knack for the obvious." Zell knew that this was a flattering remark coming from Irvine, and he acknowledged it as such.

* * *

The next few hours passed, with little new developments. After checking into the hotel, each spent a few hours alone. A time to think, a time to reflect on what they knew, but more notably, what they didn't know. The fact she was blind wasn't the issue, it was what could have possibly happened to their friend. Not only for her to hide this secret from others, but from those she was closest too. Not one of them took pity upon her; they knew her too well. But no matter how hard each tried, they only felt compassion from the loneliness she created. A world that was foreign to her, the very same world she had rescued Squall from its lethal grip.

The five had decided on different courses of action for the remainder of the day. Quistis and Selphie agreed to start at the most logical place, the beginning. Back to the place where the nightmare began, the hospital. There the two could search for medical reports, see if they could find something just 'lying' around. Or rather, could find _'stored away in a computer with a-not-so-high-tech security system'._

Zell was going to the library and see what he could discover. He knew libraries well, as dating a librarian had its privileges… like the ability to master the microfiche machine. Following the visit, he planned to do some investigation at the regional papers. Both the ones that reported the news and ones with slightly less scruples. As Quistis would say, "There's a grain of truth in every lie, and in every truth there is a grain of regret."

Fitting in with the natives was easiest for Irvine. He had been raised here, and knew the city well… even those places not listed with the 'Better Business Bureau.' His job was simply to hit the streets getting the latest scoop from locals. It was always shocking how many townsfolk would be willing to gossip, most thrived in it. Especially on someone as renowned as the cherished general's daughter.

The commander's first thought was returning immediately to the dance centre, he needed to see her. Yet, he knew Rinoa needed to absorb their previous encounter. Then he had an idea. Okay, the idea was unpleasant… really, really unpleasant. Somewhat a cross between having a root canal and watching Irvine attempt to do the tango.

Squall Leonhart would do the unthinkable. He would stop by the townhouse of Maude McCay, the woman who gave 'hot pants' a bad name. But, she was in upper society, hopefully familiar with all the latest gossip.

"Rinoa I hope you know how much I'd go through for you. First space, now 'Mrs. McCleavage' but, you're worth it."

When he spoke, it wasn't to anyone particular, more to the shadows in the air. Maybe it was a promise; a promise to himself. In his own way, he reaffirmed what he would do for her… and to learn the truth. With that inspiration, he gathered what courage he could, and took one last look into the mirror, watching the reflection stare back. "You're a fool," he whispered. Mockingly, the same words echoed by Quistis so many years ago. This time he wasn't talking to the air, but to his heart. After one last look around, he left his room, heading into the merciless city.

* * *

Arriving at the townhouse, Squall was welcomed with open arms, _literally_.

Mrs. McCay was more than delighted to see the muscle-bound man. This was now the hardest undertaking he had ever done, the ballet now appeared like a cakewalk. Taking the deepest breath known to man, he put his arms delicately around her. "I was just in the neighborhood and had so much joy and merriment the other night. I had to stop by." He cursed himself inwardly, he was now saying words like 'merriment', when would it stop?

"Well my favorite young lad. I'm glad you did, please call me Maude." He found that she had still not released him from the hug. This was not going well. Finally, she broke the death grip asking, "Do you enjoy cats?"

"_Cats?_" his mind screamed. Squall stood there with the largest smile he could drum up. With a joyful voice he mused, "Maude, who_ doesn't_ adore cats!" He was moderately certain he was going to be ill at any minute.

"Great, here hold Leechy and Cherry-Nut. They just worship men, but then again, don't we all?"

Suddenly she thrust the still forcefully smiling Squall two fluffy Persian cats. "Do you want a drink? Never mind, I'm just going to get one for you, sugar-cakes." She winked at Squall, and then gave the two cats a slight tickle under the belly. "Sweetie, keep an eye on Cherry-Nut for me, she's been spitting up the nastiest hairballs all morning. Poor little baby." The older lady left the living room droning the melody of 'Mrs. Robinson'.

"_Drink_," Squall mused, "_it better be alcoholic, strong, and a_ _double_."

He could feel the large cat start to choke. **"Eew" **Just then, the feline stood, discharging a monstrous hairball. Cat hackings ran down the commander's black denims. Hair along with a few other articles he couldn't identify, and for that, he was thankful. Squall glared at the cat and used the most malevolent voice possible, "I hope Angelo enjoys the flavor of _Persian_ food." With that threat voiced, the two cats jolted off his lap, quickly Squall tried to clean up the mess with a lace doily. Not one of his most commanderish moments, but one he was sure hours of therapy would be needed for.

"Here 'sugar chunks' take your drink. Now what leads you to my humble abode again?"

Grinning just as much as physically possible, Squall stood up walking closer to her.

"Well Maude, I just wanted the pleasure of your company." Squall looked down at the couch to Mrs. McCay, observing she had unfastened her top button. Now he was convinced he was going to be ill and therapy was now mandatory. He hurriedly sat down next to her, trying to avoid eye contact with any part_ or parts_ of her body. "Also my friend Irvine, from the other night, was truly engrossed with that performance. He was interested in Caraway's daughter, thinks she was… pretty special."

He caught the falter in his own voice, and paused trying to regain his act. "Since I was in town, thought I find out some information for him. He's just been lonely, someone like her would…" Again, he realized he wasn't speaking of 'hypothetical Irvine', but of himself. Maude looked slightly concerned as his thoughts started wandering. Noticing her disquiet he added, "I, myself, prefer a mature woman." Maude's smile promptly returned, as she put her arm around his shoulder. "_Yep_," he thought, "_I'm going to hell for this. Damn you Rinoa, look what I'm doing!_"

"Well sure thing, 'stud-man.' Her name is Rinoa. She's something of an army brat, spoiled. Ran off when the Galbadian government started heating up a couple years back. Worked in opposition to her poor father. Wanted him to free that insignificant village, Timber, yeah that blue-collar place. Not that anyone of our importance would reside there, but somebody has to be poor, I guess. Anyway, she returned some kind of hero. She'd been living abroad with her friends, and then about a year ago she moved back here, had her own apartment in the upper village."

"_Now_," he thought, "_we're getting somewhere… except for that spoiled, army brat statement_." But, he couldn't let that upset him, not when he had a mission this important. She was that important.

Moving her arm away from him, Maude set her drink down. Both were silent as she stirred the cocktail with the tiny straw. He wasn't sure what the problem was, but wanted her to continue. Finally, she leaned back onto the sofa again.

"I heard a rumor she ran off with some guy and was in a car accident." The words stung as he heard about the other man. Something inside him wanted to snap, but he used all his training to return his focus.

Leaning closer to Maude, Squall slowly, very slowly, put his arm around her. "**_Avoid_** **_the shirt! Don't accidentally look Squall. You will never be the same!_**" He kept lecturing himself.

"Oh that's horrible," managed Squall. He could feel bony fingers reaching down to his knee. **"_Oh that's horrible!_"** he screamed internally.

"Yes, yes, it was horrible." Maude's hand slowly crept up his leg, moving up his thigh. "The car accident was... gee it has to be half a year ago. Administration tried to conceal it, as much as possible. Well, at least General Caraway did. I guess with his wife passing in a crash, and then almost losing his daughter. It just didn't look good before the free elections. Rinoa's name was kept out of the paper, but some of us still knew about it. Everybody's assuming alcohol was involved, you know those spoiled types, but nobody knows for sure. Only know she was speeding, and a semi ran a road sign. Nobody even believed she would make it throughout the night."

Squall couldn't even articulate at the moment. He could only picture Rinoa lying in a hospital bed somewhere, sometime, grasping onto life. "_Did she ever wonder about me? Did she want somebody ever to try to call me? If she had died, would Caraway even gone through the trouble to call, or would I read it in the newspaper like everyone else?_"

Instinct took over logic, and without being aware, he brushed Maude's fingers forcefully away from his body. Lost within a flood of emotion and doubt, he looked down at his own hands. He remembered when _she_ was there, when _she_ held them for him.

When_ he_ needed her.

Recovery after time compression was long, she was there each day holding his hand. Even if he didn't want her to be. Squall pulled himself together enough to speak. "Was her boyfriend with her during this? Was _Robert_ there holding her hand?"

"Boyfriend?" Maude looked over to Squall who now seemed lost in his despair. She grabbed her martini from the table, meticulously eating the olive off the toothpick. "No… no not as long as I've known Caraway's daughter, never had a significant boyfriend in Deling. But word is she hooked up with a lot of male suitors… if you know what I mean."

Remaining silent, she got the hint to continue. "After the last Sorceress War, Rinoa was seeing someone, rumored it was serious. In fact, I think it was alleged he was high-ranking at a Garden. I'm surprised you hadn't heard of the little debutant before now. God knows everyone here knows about her. But when she returned to daddy, no boyfriend. Actually, she never talked about Garden again - her or Caraway. It's proper etiquette not to discuss such issues in their attendance. My friend and I have our own speculations though, but I'll save those for another day. Right 'honey-buns,' there will be another day?"

"Sure," he garbled. "Of course, Maude, there is always another day."

She reached down to his hand, one he still wore gloves over. "No, I don't believe anyone was there to hold her hand. Caraway did spend a trivial amount of time at the hospital. However, with the elections around the corner, he was an occupied man. You… you asked about a Robert?"

Maude halted briefly, edging closer to Squall. "Oh of course, darling! Robert Caraway the General's nephew, he's Rinoa's cousin! Actually, spent a lot of time in Deling after Julia passed away. He's considered more like a brother than cousin to the Caraway family. Now Robert lives with her, somewhat curious though. He moved back after the accident, started hanging around her more. They don't go anywhere without each other, trust me, the rumor-mill is flying. I think he was away when the accident happened, took him a couple of months to move back here. After being released from the hospital, Rinoa moved back with daddy. So did Robert."

"_Robert is her cousin? But if she moved back here without a boyfriend, what does that mean? Did she really not want our relationship? The note said she found someone else. Why would she lie about that? Unless it really was me, she left, because of me..._"

As Squall was deep in his own mind, Mrs. McCay started to lean over and whisper in his ear. When the senior-seductress started to speak, as if a sign from a higher authority, his pager went off.

"Oh no Maude… It's a code '_4:19__ Alpha Silver!'_ I have to leave, report back to the Garden on the double. Why did our quality time have to end so soon? I'm so sorry." He swiftly leaped from the davenport, heading for the door.

"Oh no Mr. Gunblader, you don't get off that easy. You need to know what you're missing." With all the vigor of a teenager, the older woman grabbed him by the waist and kissed him square on the lips. He was trying not to heave or knock her to her skinny butt, but wanted the leech off more than anyone could possibly imagine. Squall's hands were, at long last, capable of prying the piranha away.

As he closed the door, his first thought was 'disinfectant'. Now there were two events in his life he vowed _never_ to tell anyone about. Again, his pager went off for a second time. "_I'm glad I set the alarm to go off at lunch. Hope she didn't figure out it wasn't a real page. Also hope she didn't know that '4-19 Alpha Silver' was touch-up paint for my gunblade._"

* * *

Rinoa was sitting in the living room. The area never had a cozy feel, always one of annoyance. Truthfully, no room ever felt right at that place… except hers. Thoughts ran back to her mother holding her, reading stories to her every night. Always about 'true love,' and other thing she had learned over time to lose faith in. Now the darkness only echoed the aura of the room, and the dreams lost within the walls.

She listened as footsteps approached. The young girl could tell who was walking in, just by the sound of their steps. It was identification to her, just as distinctive as voices or facial recognition. She could sense a distinct herbal aroma filling the air.

"You brought me tea? Thank you." Reaching out her hands, he carefully placed the saucer within her grasp. Kneeling down, Robert looked her in the eyes, it was something done out of respect. To him, she could see, could see everything around them.

Even better than he could.

"Feel like going to practice this afternoon?"

Sipping her tea, she just looked out into the distant horizon. He walked over to the couch, grabbing an afghan off the back. Affectionately sheltering his upset cousin with a blanket, he then sat down in a nearby chair.

"Yeah, I do. It will help me _forget_."

"Rin, I'm going to tell you something whether you like it or not, because I love you. I remembered that man from outside. You have his picture on the wall in your room. You were also talking with him at the reception, the other night after the performance. He knows Rin, talk to him."

"I…" The words sank in. "What do you mean 'I talked' to him the other night? I didn't talk to anyone I wasn't familiar with." Then she remembered Lauren, as the realization hit her, her eyes couldn't dam the tears beginning to form. "Except for the girl from Balamb Garden… and her two acquaintances, who never spoke. I was looking directly in his eyes, wasn't I? What the hell was Squall doing at a ballet?"

Shaking she set her cup on the table. Rinoa found herself placing her legs up to her chest. Finally, her body collapsed against her own will. She rested her head on her knees, thinking of everything that had gone wrong. Everything he did… and she cried.

"Yes, you were looking right at him, smiling and talking. Rinoa you stared at your ex-boyfriend and didn't even acknowledge him. That's how he realized, because you didn't react."

"But… but… I was a meter away from him and he didn't speak to me? Of course not, I left him the note. I 'theoretically' broke up with him. Without rhyme or reason, I left him."

Rinoa's mind was racing, she couldn't keep the words from being spoken aloud. "Squall never knew I came back to Garden that morning. He never knew I witnessed his... Why did he change aftershave? I always know when anyone with that scent is near me. He watched me dance? I… I never knew. Rob, what did the other SeeD look like, not the female I spoke to, the other individual?"

"Rin, slow down, I don't understand everything you're talking about. Going back to the Garden, or about this _Squall guy_. But, I can answer the other question. He was a male, tall, long blondish hair, a genuine cowboy sort of chap."

"Irvine," she softly believed. "Yesterday he called me out of the blue. Robert, I stared directly at him as well. Squall wouldn't call me so Irvine did. Irvine knew I was lying. Even went far as to say I was currently working in sales… food processors."

Robert smirked, "Cool, the brand that makes those clever rose radishes. Can I purchase one at cost?" Immediately, he was hit square in the face with a throw pillow. "Rin, your aim is still perfect." For the first time all day, she was able to laugh.

* * *

Step by step, Squall walked back to the hotel, trying to process all the information he received. This specific region of town was retail, with specialty shops on either side. Looking across the lane, he saw a small, inviting bookstore. Watching the flow of traffic, he cautiously crossed the busy street.

When the door opened, he noticed the store was defiantly larger than it appeared from outside. Huge bookshelves with ladders extended as far as one could see. A middle-aged lady behind the counter smiled, asking if he needed any assistance.

"Do you have any books on the blind or helping someone cope with being blind, maybe one on how to read Braille?" The lady nodded, and then escorted him down a back passageway.

* * *

Reaching his hotel room, Squall opened the first book he grabbed out of the huge sack. How was anyone supposed to interpret these random bumps? Closing his eyes, he carefully moved the tips of his fingers along the pages. The sensation of the contact momentarily sent chills down his spine. The paper felt awkward to him, and all the raised marks felt the same. It was just a book without any words, without meaning. Sighing he gave up, once again opening his eyes to the manuscript.

Going to the alphabetical index sheet, he started looking at the distinctive letters. The more he looked at them, the more he could tell the difference with the naked eye. Sitting down at the hotel desk, he reached for a piece of paper and started making dots. At first, he was writing random letters, but before he was aware, his subconscious mind had spelled **Rinoa **and **Squall.** There on the paper were their names, just as an infatuated adolescent would write on a notebook. Nobody could tell; it looked more like a connect-the-dots than a tangible language. Squall looked once more at the alphabet page. Then again, shut his eyes and struggled to make out the texture of the letters.

He couldn't, not even one.

Shutting the hardback book, he tossed it to the desk with disgust. Warriors were made to fight with their hands, not to read with them. He took one glove from his pocket, carefully trying to memorize the feel. Sure, he had worn them all his life, but had he truly every thought about the barrier? Bringing one hand to his face, he felt at every scar, every flaw. Years of battles had left their marks. Now how was something so deadly supposed to understand the most basic of feel?


	4. Dawn

-No, still don't own Final Fantasy or any of the characters, just doing this for the fun of it so please don't sue me.

**_Chapter Four: Dawn _**

An hour had passed, Squall heard everyone congregating outside his room.

"_Would they just come in?_"

There was a knock. "Hey, Squall-man you fully clad? I have two innocent young ladies out here, wouldn't want to alarm them prematurely." The next thing Squall heard was a 'whack' and an _**ouch**_ from Irvine.

"Come in, the door is open."

Strolling into his room all walked in semi-casually. The commander had been hard to read this past year, this time being no exception. Selphie jumped on the bed opposite Squall, and Irvine nonchalantly lay down next to her. Quistis went over to the desk, peering down she happened to notice the books sitting there, but said nothing. Propping himself against the window, Zell looked at the others. They were all waiting for their leader to speak.

Squall sat up on the bed, his previous demeanor turned to a formal manner. "I trust that all of you were competent enough to gather information. Let's see what forms when we put all the pieces together." He scanned the room and elected to begin with Selphie, she would give him the medical background. Nodding formally to her, she took the indication to begin talking.

"Rinoa was brought in on February 15th at 2:45 am. She had internal bleeding and a severe concussion. They took her directly to the emergency room. She managed to regain conciseness sometime later, looking around. Her eyes responded to brightness, records show her pupils reacted almost normally during the initial evaluation. But, during the doctor's effort to stop the massive bleeding, she flat-lined. According to Rinoa's medical charts, she was 'gone' for several minutes. However, the doctors were able to resuscitate her. A couple of days later when she awoke, Rinoa regained all her motor abilities, but lost her ability to see. She practically died that night."

Squall was not going to exhibit any outward signs of emotion during this. His gaze remained stone-faced. Next, he nodded at Zell.

"Did anyone notice the date… the 15th of February? I don't know if it had any significance, but it's the day after Valentine's," stated the martial artist.

Squall was no longer looking toward him. In fact, he knew that the others had looked his direction after Zell's statement. "_Not going to get upset, years of training, killing. This… this is painless right?_" Quistis made a sound from the desk, subtly getting Squall out his thoughts. She knew him well. "I don't know if it's significant, Zell. Now what exactly did you establish? The facts, all I want to listen to are _facts_. I have no time for your speculation."

"Well, according to this information, Rinoa was driving about sixty on the road. An eighteen-wheeler ignored a stop sign, she ran head-on into the cab of the truck. The car flipped a couple of times, before coming to a rest upside down. The report states she was wearing her seatbelt or I'm sure she'd have been dead. Sorry, Squall… speculation again, I know. Anyway, no indication of alcohol or drugs in her blood, but there was in the truck driver. Because of political pressure, her name was withheld in all the accident related news articles. But later stories on her dancing never state she's blind. I'm pretty sure nobody, but a close few, have knowledge about..."

Lost in his own world, Squall watched the blowing tree limbs outside the picture window. "I know her. Rinoa didn't want people to feel badly for her. She wanted to be liked for who she was, not for being the blind girl who can dance. What she doesn't know is they will like her anyhow…. whether she can see or not is not of any consequence. Who in their right mind wouldn't… like her?" The commander returned to his role of leader. His eyes slightly glazed as he looked over to Irvine, signaling him to begin.

"Okay everyone, let's bear in mind that what I know is hearsay. Rumors from the local townsfolk are not to be taken as the gospel truth. According to some of my 'new friends' at the tavern, she'd gone to some sort of social event that night and seemed to be very depressed for quite sometime. However, most importantly as Zell confirmed, she didn't drink. A group of the dancers were throwing a party for Valentine's Day. She… um…"

He stopped not sure how to continue. Icy steel eyes met his, and he knew the next words word cut the commander. "Squall, she hooked up with a guy there. There are rumors of what happened physically between them… but the rest is a little difficult to understand. Rinoa didn't go there with him, that's pretty much a fact. She didn't leave with him. We know that because Rinoa was approximately a kilometer from the party when she crashed, she was alone. But, as for anything else… I simply don't want to hypothesize commander. I'm sorry."

Squall finally regained his train of thought, standing up he looked to his close friends. "Great now we know what happened six months ago, but did anyone learn what happened a year ago? Shit, I don't even believe there was another man back then. Maybe… maybe she just didn't want to be with me. I was better off before." With the words, he got up, went into the bathroom, and slammed the door behind him.

They looked at one another with bewilderment; it was very rare for Squall to show emotion. Let alone pretty much have a breakdown in front of his peers. Quistis stood filled with concern, gesturing for the rest to leave.

She tapped on the bathroom door. "Squall it's just me, the others went back to their rooms. I needed to tell you something in addition." He opened the door, walking over to the window. He never looked at her; he never said a solitary word. "I was talking to a nurse who took care of Rinoa during her recuperation. Caraway wasn't there too much, she felt very sorry for Rin when nobody would come to visit. The woman informed me she would spend coffee breaks and lunches with her. Nobody ever knew how much time Kimberley, the nurse, spent there. She would stay hours, talking or reading, while Rinoa lay unconscious. I guess Rin didn't move a lot, she just would call out once in awhile. Squall she was calling out, for you."

Quistis looked sorrowfully at him. Then she started doing something she never had done before, in front of anyone… she cried. The almost broken man could scarcely keep from crying himself, but he wouldn't now. Rinoa would need his strength; he would be strong for his Rinoa. Squall put his arms around his friend, consoling Quistis as she wept.

"Quistis she needed me_… _wanted_ me. _I am going to get her back. I promise."

"If I can be assured of one thing on this planet Mr. Leonhart, I'm positive you will. It's going to take time, but I'll never doubt your commitment to her. It will be more demanding then any SeeD mission, but Rinoa is worth it." The two friends continued standing there, gazing out the window, embracing each other for a cherished, serene moment.

* * *

Squall sat against the black rod iron bench. Glancing down to his wristwatch, he checked the time. It was now twenty-five after, he had been patiently waiting for Rinoa to leave practice. Somehow, the last thirty minutes had felt as if time stood still. Deciding it was best to send Squall alone, the others opted to remain at the hotel. Knowing everyone was there, watching, might be too much for Rinoa. In one day her life changed, and that which she kept secret… was now known. To her friends, to ones she once called family, but most of all to him.

Finally, he heard the sound of the door opening. Robert walked out of the auditorium, without his dance partner. Remembering this man earlier tried to kill him, he seriously contemplated turning and leaving. Yet, an inner voice pleaded with him to stay. Leaving would be easy, staying would be hard. Halfheartedly Squall stood from the bench, walking towards the exhausted figure.

Bewildered, Robert closely examined the silhouette approaching toward him. For a split second, Squall wished he hadn't left his gunblade in the hotel room. As Robert neared, the rays of the setting sun blinded the commander, not allowing him to read the expression on the other man's face.

The former knight could tell the dancer was tall, muscular, and surprising toned for someone in ballet. Wearing a gray sweatshirt and shorts, he appeared younger than the two occasions they chanced upon each other. As his steps gradually progressed, Squall could see a family resemblance.

"_Why had he not noticed this before?_" Maybe because he'd felt an involuntary animosity toward the man. Thinking of him as Rinoa's boyfriend, was one thing… thinking of him as the only person she had to lean on, was certainly another. With a clearer perspective, Squall could take the time to view him as a person. "_Funny, he really doesn't look like a ballet dancer. I could throw a uniform on him, and he would easily pass for SeeD._" Not that Squall would know what a male ballet dancer would look like, unless he was wearing tights and prancing around stage.

Fear for his cousin almost caused Robert to assault the man standing before him. Yet, there was something haunting, almost desperate in his eyes. He sensed the connection between them the other day; even if she wouldn't admit there was or ever had been. Rob learned from an early age that his cousin could be stubborn, suffering horrific fates that still left physical scars to this day.

However, the bond between Rinoa and this person made violence into a fleeting thought. Part of him had watched her suffer for the last six months, not from the blindness… but from sheer loneliness. Something other than the accident had taken her spirit away. Ironically, the loss of her sight gave her something to think about, something to master. But, he could always see the empty space deep within her heart. The kind that, no matter how much one wants, doesn't go away with family or friends. The kind only a soul mate could fill, and deep within his heart, he believed this man to be the one.

The one that could help Rinoa where everyone else had failed.

The sunlight still distorted his vision, but Squall could tell they were now standing almost face-to-face. Instinctively, he placed his hand above his eyes, endeavoring to block the streaming light. Although he was glad that as of yet, he had not been attacked, he could now read the man's demeanor. Some part of Robert almost mirrored Rinoa, and her ability to mystify him. Often Squall misread her moods, slowly he was beginning to interpret each pace, each stomp of the foot, and each rolled eye. Never did one action mean the same thing, but she was like a language all her own. An enigma whose outward appearance always seemed positive, but there was so much more… he never had the chance to learn.

"My name is Squall Leonhart and…"

Robert raised his hand to silence him. Before his mind could register what his mouth was saying, Robert countered, "Go to the small memorial park, the one next to the east entrance. She's sitting on a bench, don't mention we met... and call me Rob." Without further explanation the man turned, walking back into the building. Opening the door, he looked over his shoulder adding, "But, if you hurt her, I will kill you myself."

"Don't worry, if I hurt her… I'll kill myself," offered Squall in response.

His steel glare met with the other man, both reached a mutual understanding. Robert knew Rinoa needed this man standing before him, and this man needed Rinoa. Now only one question remained, would she let _this man_ back in her life? Something had happened; he just wished both had the strength and conviction to work out their tribulations.

Squall stood stunned. "_He just helped me? Why?_" Then he realized how much family support might be needed on this one, deciding to accept the aide at face value. Sometimes overanalyzing, was just as bad as not planning at all.

* * *

The small park was dedicated to the past Sorceress Wars. It honored those that fought and died, on all sides of the armed forces. The plaque also went as far to honor all those who were destined to die within the future's grasp. It was simple, but simplicity stated more. A single fountain with a marble monument, and on all four sides cobbled paths leading up to the center. Symbolic to represent the four sides of the world, uniting for one greater purpose. Yet, she could see none of that.

Silently approaching the bench from behind, he could see Rinoa sitting alone. "Well it's now or never," he incoherently muttered. For a moment, he once again found himself lost in the sight of her. Over the last year, Rinoa's hair had grown slightly longer. Wistfully hanging over the back of the bench, the wind played gently with the locks giving her a surreal look. Next to her sat a large crimson duffel bag, with her left arm resting gently across it. She too was wearing a gray sweatshirt and white shorts. He took a few steps closer, holding his breath. With each passing step, his heart pounded more. The tension was shattered when he accidentally stepped on a twig. He heard the 'snap' under his shoe, and the sound echoed throughout the small park.

"Go away, Squall."

"How did you know it was me?"

As Rinoa heard his rough voice, she wanted nothing more than to jump in his arms, letting him make everything better. But she had been hurt before, and she was going to be damn sure it would never happen again. Even if she was going to destroy the one person she loved. "_Loved?_" she questioned to herself. "_No, once loved_… _never again._" Memories of that fateful morning came flooding back into her mind. Every emotion, every hurt looking upon her… pictures of him undressed in another woman's arms. The way he was holding _her,_ the way she was devastated that wasn't herself. So in a voice devoid of emotion she rejoined, "I've made that mistake twice now. I'll be damn sure it doesn't happen again. Now get the Hell away from me, and stay away this time."

As if defying a direct order from a superior, he walked to the front of the bench, looked at her simply stated, "No."

"Don't ruin this for me."

"Ruin what?"

"_Watching_ the sunset."

"Rinny, I know you can't see. You don't have to lie to me."

Furiously she stood up, taking the smallest step closer to her unwanted visitor. The emotions based on the hurt she felt, the same ones she had been carrying for over the last year, betrayed her mind and thoughts. She spat to the SeeD Commander, "No Squall, I can see just fine. In fact, I can see better now than throughout my entire life. I can feel the heat from the sun on my face as it swallowed by the night. I can hear the crickets talking to each other. I hear the birds saying goodbye to another day. I can feel life around me with my skin… I can hear the world with my ears. Yes, I can_ see_ everything better with my heart, than you ever could with _your eyes_."

She crossly pointed to the last light of the sunset, before it disappeared beyond the horizon. "I can '_see'_ the sunset, Mr. Leonhart. I know you never could. You only see what you're told to see, what someone has ordered you to see. I feel sorry for you… you're the one who'll never really '_see_' the sunset." She took one more step audaciously toward him, pointing the same finger in his face. "One last thing, don't ever call me Rinny. That is for friends and family, and you sir, are neither."

Squall stood speechless, not knowing how to respond to the sudden outburst. Something inside her seemed full of hate and bitterness, something he had never witnessed. It was almost as if another person was standing before him. The transformation seemed as if an entity entered her body, and she was possessed with only revulsion. From an outward appearance, she was calm, save for the yelling. But it was what he couldn't see that gave him hope. An aura of resentment toward her actions, one of sorrow followed her… and not perpetuated from the blindness.

Finally, he spoke up, "I'm not going to give up on you. Every time you turn around, I will be there. Every time you think someone is watching you, it will be me. I will be there... I promise."

"I know exactly how much a promise from _you_ means. Have you ever heard of stalking? It's illegal. I don't want you Squall. I never did. I moved on and found someone else, he's better to me than you ever were." As the last words escaped her lips, she wished to God they had never been spoken. She was pretending Robert was her boyfriend again, but Squall could just not know how lonely she was. "_Robert will go along with this, right?_"

"The dancer from the reception the other night? The same guy who tried to kill me this morning? Is he your boyfriend... Robert?"

"Yes Squall, Robert. Hey, and guess what Squall… he isn't afraid to touch me. He puts his arms around me, and tells me how he feels He knows my deepest secrets and I know his. I don't have to worry about offending him with every word or action, just so he can run off back into his godforsaken solitary shell. He completes me in a way you never could."

"_Well_," she thought, "_everything is true, he does take care of me._ _Ever since we were kids, we've shared many of our secrets_. _So it's not technically a lie, right?_" However, it wasn't enough. She had to say something more spiteful, to hurt him as he hurt her. Something that would keep him away, to let him know it was over… really over. Okay, so a few little lies wouldn't hurt. "And he's wonderful in bed. I can't believe how he makes me feel. The way he makes love to me , he is more of a man than you ever could be."

Rinoa found herself in a mental position between pure rage and pure repulsion. "_What the hell did I just say? Robert, sex, oh God! Just leave Squall, don't make me continue this lie… it's really getting nauseating._"

"So you screw your cousin?" He spat the words back to her face.

Rinoa had never felt such rage in her life. "_He knew, damn him! He was baiting me!_" With all her might, she lashed with her hand, slapping hard against his face. Her hand was stinging as she heard Squall gasp and take a step back. "You're a bastard Squall Leonhart. Wish I'd never found you during time compression! I would have enjoyed your lifeless body deteriorating in that empty void. Some kind of leader you are, a lion? That's a damn joke. Last time I knew anything about male lions, they slept nineteen hours a day, while the '_lioness'_ did all the hunting. The lioness raises the children, and the lioness finds shelter for her family. The lioness is the real king of the jungle! The male lion just thinks he's better than everyone else is. Guess what? He's not and neither are you, Squall Leonhart. You were never worth the price I paid. You never will be."

He was not going to let this shake him, but irritation was starting to obscure his better judgment. It wasn't just today, but a year of emotions he was attempting desperately to conceal. She always had a way of bringing out his feelings, whether good or bad. For once, he led with his darker side, the one that lay dormant for so long. "Well the last time I checked, _Rinny_, Satan himself was a fallen angel… looks like he has some good company now. You're the one who wasn't worth the trouble. The biggest mistake I made was jumping out into space to save your sorry ass. You're nothing but an annoying spoiled brat. I guess some things never change."

Squall couldn't believe the words even as they still echoed in his head, he didn't mean any of it. Damn it, two could play her little game. "I guess the lion did make a mistake, he tried to save his lioness. Now he knows that he should have watched the other predators rip her carcass apart. _You _are the one who wasn't worth the price." Never had he wanted to hit a woman before, but the anger he felt from the day of receiving his ring was manifesting itself. Not only in thoughts, but also in actions. Squall had to walk away right now; he refused to hurt her.

Turning to leave, Squall saw Rinoa lunging towards him from the corner of his eye. Her hands were up, ready to strike. The former knight knew he was probably going to be hit again, by his own sorceress. He had to stop himself before he hurt her, he had to stop her before she hurt herself. With lightning fast reflexes, he grabbed both of her arms to prevent her from attacking. Squall could feel the emotional woman's struggle. Against her chest, he held her arms forcefully down. Then he noticed something that would haunt him forever, something he emotionally couldn't deal with… he saw the tears.

From her eyes ran streams of tears, although he could see her inner struggle to withhold them. Yet, what would scar him for a lifetime, more than any physical wound, was the fear on her face. "_Damn her_." The feeling of her skin, the need to comfort her, and the close proximity to her face… it was too much. Somehow a passion that he'd never felt, revealed itself in that single moment. He pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms forcefully around her back.

Squall looked down, into her intense brown eyes. They didn't react to light, nor did they see, yet somehow they held so much emotion. He could feel Rinoa's shallow breath on his neck, sending shivers down his spine. Before his mind could respond, he reached up to her neck, pulled her closer to him, and kissed her.

Rinoa was struggling in his firm embrace, not positive of what he was going to do to her. "_Damn you, don't touch me._" She too couldn't handle the feeling he was stirring up in her body. In a natural reaction, she lifted her head up to look at him, purely reflex. The next thing she felt was his lips against hers. She tried to struggle out of it, but he continued to hold her tight.

"_Why the hell is he doing this? Squall, you never kissed me like… Oh God…_" It was a type of unadulterated passion she'd never felt; before she could stop her own body's reaction, she was kissing him back. Not the tentative pecks like a year ago, but a feeling that ran throughout her entire being. Before the current sensations registered completely in her mind, his tongue was entering her mouth, and amazingly, she was allowing it, only wanting more. Squall was now holding her tighter, closer than he had ever dared before. Every inch of his muscular frame pressing against her petite body, and every touch registered in her memory… and in her heart.

Squall just couldn't fight the rising excitement anymore, the feelings were just too damn strong. They stood there for what seemed to last forever, passionately exploring every centimeter of each other's mouth. At last, Squall regained the strength to stop his sudden loss of control, before his mind was completely taken over by pure emotion. It took him several seconds to catch his breath, before he was able to think clearly.

"Get the hell away from me Squall!" Rinoa's words were barely audible over her tears, and the obvious passion that betrayed her only seconds ago.

Squall let completely go of her, hesitantly taking a step backwards. His heart was still racing from the events before. Leaning into her, he put his mouth only centimeters from her ear, and in an almost seductive voice whispered, "I will not give up on you, _I promise_."

She could only try to regain her composure, as she heard his footsteps disappear into the night. Wiping the tears off her face, she looked again to where the sunset was only minutes before.

"It's too late for us Squall, it's too late," she whispered into the summer breeze. He was already gone.

* * *

When Squall arrived back at the hotel, he wished nothing more than to take a cold shower and go directly to bed. With his friends in tow, he knew that wouldn't happen anytime soon. They were just as much a part of this whole ordeal as he was. Rinoa needed them too, although she might not admit it to anyone, yet.

Ironic, two years ago he was the one pushing them away. Squall couldn't admit he needed others in his life. They were his family, all of them. Now she was the one who needed to let them in her self-built shell. Things change, people change, and circumstances change. What bothered him wasn't the fact she was blind, that was furthest from his mind, but why the hatred toward him? "_What did I do?_" The words she said, more importantly, the manner in which she spoke. It was done only to hurt him, to purposely, maliciously hurt him. A trait he never knew existed within her; someone had wounded her deeply. Something kept telling him there was more going on than her blindness, something that marred her very soul. He was determined more than ever, to find the truth behind those mysterious brown eyes.

* * *

"Hey Squall, it's Selphie," called the tentative voice from behind the hotel room door. Not in her common energetic manner, her tone echoed her trepidation. "Cid wanted you to call when you got in. He just wants an update on our stay in Deling. We didn't tell him anything, thought we would leave the details up to our commander. When you're done, we're meeting in the bar for a drink. Please join us, we would like to know what happened tonight. Please?"

He was going to hate reliving the events to everyone. It had been over two years since he had accepted them as friends, but some parts of his life were still confidential. Squall figured he could just give a general account of the encounter. That should hopefully be enough to satisfy their infuriating curiosity. As he figured earlier, they were her friends also, so logically they would want to know how she was doing. He inwardly sighed.

"Give me a few minutes to call Headmaster Cid. I'll meet you down in the bar, promise." _Promise_… that was the second time today he used that word. One he tried to avoid so often. He was getting good at making them, now he only hoped not to break any.

* * *

"This is Commander Leonhart calling for Headmaster Cid Kramer."

The voice on the other end was very professional and polite. "Please hold commander while I patch you through to his office." Protocol, how he hated this bureaucratic language. It really wasn't his approach, he would rather be in combat than having to act congenial to upper management. Cid was like a father to him, but he was also the Headmaster for the elite SeeD mercenaries. Duties to Garden came before personal ones. Once in a great while, Cid would revert into his father role, but mainly it was all 'yes sir, no sir.' That is how Squall preferred the relationship, strictly business.

_"This is Headmaster Cid Kramer of Balamb Garden speaking."_

"Sir, this is Commander Leonhart giving you an update on our current situation."

"_Situation_ _Squall, I thought you had taken a few days off in Deling? I think 'vacation' and 'situation' are two different words."_

"Yes sir, I suppose." There was an eerie silence where Squall expected some kind of statement. When the silence continued he asked, "When would you like us to return to Garden?"

_"Squall, drop the act. You may take all the time off you need. You've been working diligently the last two years. The others can come back when they feel it's time. You son, I want to come back when you know it's time."_

"Yes sir, I understand." Squall lied, he truly did not comprehend the remark. The silence in the call now seemed like a blanket to cover something. What, he didn't know. "_Why would Cid want me to stay in Deling as long as I needed? Did the others already tell him about Rinoa? Selphie mentioned nothing was said. So why is the Headmaster so cooperative?_"

_"Squall, I have to tell you something, not as the headmaster, but as someone who thinks of you as their own flesh and blood. Maude McCay phoned about three weeks ago, asking how to thank the SeeD members who helped with presidential security. She was an old friend of Edea's so when she suggested money or a present… Well, I told her 'no'. It's against Garden policy to take presents for services above the initial fee, but I would make a special exception. I told her how much the three of you would like to attend the Deling City ballet."_

"Ballet sir? Why on earth would you tell her we wanted to go to the ballet? It's just something I would've never expressed a desire to do in a million years. Sir, I'm not sure why you would make a special exception on this unless…"

_"Yes Squall, I know. Edea dragged me a week before, in much the same fashion I made you attend. I saw Rinoa there. As headmaster, I would prefer you only to think about work at the Garden. As a man who cares about you, I knew you were never the same after she left. You needed her. I thought maybe seeing Rinoa again… would make you realize that too."_

"Cid she was in an accident six months ago. She lost her sight."

He wasn't sure why he was relaying this information to the headmaster. God knew that Rinoa didn't want anyone to learn about her secret. Maybe he had to express to Cid, without saying the words directly, 'this mission might take a while.' Squall didn't want to abandon Garden duties, but the commander knew concentrating on business would be impossible, until he felt complete again. The only way that would happen is with her.

_"I'm sorry to hear that Squall."_

"Don't be. She wouldn't want anybody saying that."

_"No, you're right… Rinoa wouldn't. She's still welcome at Garden. I would love to have the dear girl back."_

"Thank you headmaster… _Cid_. Someday, I hope to bring her back."

Gently setting the receiver back on the stand, Squall retracted back into the dark abyss of his mind. It seemed lifetimes ago Rinoa had lived at Garden, only a hallway from him. She had the opportunity to take the SeeD exam, but graciously turned it down. "I don't want to compromise my beliefs just because someone paid me to do so," she explained to Cid after the offer was made.

Rinoa did agree to stay on and help with the business end, working as an assistant to the headmaster. The word 'secretary' was used often, but she would reply, "I don't bring him coffee, usually he brings it to me." Cid had taken a liking to her, thought of her as one of his kids. The headmaster too was surprised when she suddenly left. Rinoa had been the only one with the miraculous ability to keep his desk organized; a feat that not even Edea had managed in twenty-five years of marriage.

"She really did… no does," he corrected himself, "have a way with people. Have a way with me."

Squall scanned the hotel room. In comparison, the room was equivalent to his new dormitory back at Garden. Yet somehow, this room seemed more inviting. Empty. That's how his room felt in Balamb. Empty, since the day she left. No, she didn't live with him, but she did spend a lot of time there… the room seemed somehow more like a home when Rinoa was around.

He glanced down to the desk, noticing the book on Braille. Again he picked it up, slowing turning each page, as if the paper was pulling him in like a vortex. When he reached the pages with the alphabet he stopped, closed his eyes, and _felt_ the page. Still they held no meaning, just random dimples in a book, where words should be. Squall opened his eyes, looking at small specks. Visually he could make out differences, just as before. Reading them was easy with your eyes open. It was always easy when you saw. Shutting the book, he laid it back on the desk.

Killing time for the inevitable was all he was successfully managing to do. Postponing his feelings from emerging, before he tried to relive today with words. Emotions hid for so very long, were threatening to be revealed. He had always heard the old adage that there was strength in numbers. With military training, he only equated that with armies during times of battle. Now he knew more than ever, the five of them were stronger than one. Then him, alone. He took one last look at the alarm clock before grabbing his jacket. It was time to go down toward the tavern below, confronting everyone's questions. Ones he was sure, he had no answer to.


	5. Morning

-No, since the last chapter I didn't win the lottery, therefore, I do not own Final Fantasy or any of the characters

**_Chapter Five: Morning _**

During the course of the years, the hotel bar had stood frozen in time. Little had changed since the days Julia played the piano there, save for the clientele. It used to be a hot spot for Galbadian Soldiers; now it seemed more commonplace for the 'every-man' to be sitting among the crowd. The SeeDs were all gathered around a table, talking about nothing but Rinoa since the moment they arrived.

"So if there wasn't another guy, why do you think she left?" inquired Zell. He took another sip of his beer and looked at the other three.

"Maybe because you scared her with your hot dog obsession," snapped Selphie. "Or maybe it was because she was tired of being hit on by Irvine. We all know how quick that gets old."

In his defense Irvine casually retorted, "I didn't flirt with her that much. You know I'd be scrubbing toilets with a toothbrush if I had. I wouldn't want to upset our dear commander. Squall could _and would_ make my life a living hell. He even got mad at me once for calling her darlin' and kissing her innocently on the cheek."

"Really?" Selphie feigned jealousy. "You kissed her?" Selphie wasn't mad. She just liked giving Irvine a hard time about his old habits. She knew that he loved her, but it was fun to watch him try to talk his way out of things.

"Yep, the one and only time," the cowboy explained. "You should've heard the lecture Squall gave me about SeeD conduct codes. He was so mad. I know he'd care less, had it been anybody else… however, it wasn't anybody else it was Rin. But giving 'The Commander' lecture was easier than saying 'stay the Hell away from my girlfriend', cowboy. Or your ass will end up doing hard time in the frozen wasteland of Trabia."

"Hey, wait a minute!" Selphie interjected. "I resent that!"

Irvine started laughing to himself, ignoring his companion's protest. "The funny part was Rin just turned to me, got up on her tip toes, and kissed me back on the cheek. Then turned to Squall, smiled and said, _'Hey, I'm not a SeeD darlin'_. Squall didn't change his look to the untrained eye, but I could tell he was irritated. He just turned around, saying 'whatever' as he stormed away from us. Rin could really get him to show emotion that we never could, even if it was bad."

The others started laughing quietly as they pictured Rinoa kissing Irvine rebelliously. Quistis, who had been relatively quiet during the whole evening, set her wine back on the table making a comment they would have never expected. "Squall was a fool not to tell Rinoa he loved her."

When Rinoa first moved to Garden, close friends of Quistis expected her to be upset. The ironic thing being - she_ never _was. The whole 'Quistis liked Squall' rumor was ridiculously blown out of proportion by the Trepies. In fact, she would encourage Rinoa to go to Squall when he needed someone, even though he would never admit he 'needed' someone. Quistis loved Rinoa, she was like a sister, and now two years later, she was more determined than ever to see them back together.

"He never told her you know. I'm sure Rinoa knew in her heart how Squall felt. Sometimes hearing the words can mean more than one thinks. He wouldn't even refer to her as his 'girlfriend', just as one of his good friends. I knew he was having trouble admitting his feelings, even to himself. Yet, I think this time it will be different. I think he'll finally admit his feelings to her, and more importantly to himself. Not because she is blind, but because he loves her, no matter what. Time has a strange way of dealing with emotions… only in her absence did he see what he lost. Who he lost."

Everyone nodded in agreement, as the instructor finished her statement. Since the time of Ultimecia, Squall had been more open and honest with his feelings. It didn't happen over night, nor did it completely happen. Nevertheless, he was progressing. Hanging out with the group, even talking, but not like he did when Rinoa was still around. Squall was happy then, even if it wasn't obvious to him, all those around him could tell. After Rinoa's swift departure, he was nearly impossible for the first few months. Over time, the commander improved, but nobody dared mention Rinoa to him. Only his closest friends knew how much he was hurting, even after a year had passed.

Selphie noticed Squall walking down the stairs and nonchalantly signaled to the others at the table. They understood and changed the topic of conversation quickly. Zell announced, "Hey my birthday is coming up. I could really use a food processor, the one that turns radishes into roses." Unfortunately, at this comment, Irvine started laughing so hard he almost choked on his beer. Nothing's as scary as a cowboy is, with beer streaming from his nose… not pretty.

"Hey Squall," Quistis said acknowledging the commander's presence. Selphie was rapidly patting Irvine on the back, as he was still trying to regain his breath. "We were just discussing... food processors." By this time, she too couldn't contain her laughter. "Really, we were."

Squall just looked at the motley crew sitting around the table and in a very Squall-like way replied, "Sure, whatever." Pulling up a chair, he sat down at the table. "Well I talked to her, kind of. It didn't go very well, but I did tell her I wouldn't give up, and I mean it. I guess…" The words seemed strange for him to say. He wasn't big on asking anyone for help, especially on something of a personal nature. "I just don't know what to do next."

By this time, Irvine managed to compose himself, nose still stinging from the ordeal. "Well, I think you should be glad you have the world's leading expert on women with you."

Squall looked Irvine in the eyes. "Yes, I'm sure glad I do… Zell, what do you suggest?" With the comment of the habitually serious commander, everyone started laughing again. Even Squall had a tiny smile on his face.

Quistis was so glad to see this behavior emerging from him. She hadn't remembered him teasing anybody since Rinoa left; she was also glad he was asking his friends for help. This was a very big step for him. Rinoa had been back in his life for three days and she could already see a change.

"How about flowers, Squall? I know how much she always loved them. She could still enjoy their smell, and I don't ever remember a time when you gave her flowers."

"No Quistis I didn't, but I should have. It's a first step right? Just don't be surprised if they end up in the trash."

The five of them spent the next two hours reminiscing about Rinoa, also planning ways to get her to open up again. "_It's remarkable_," Squall thought. "_This is what everyone must have done two years ago, getting me open up to Rinoa back at Fisherman's Horizon, now it's our turn to do it for her._"

* * *

_"I held her…for a brief moment in time, she was in my arms. Now the sun is rising on another day. I know she wouldn't want me to feel regret for her, but the colors on the horizon are so vibrant… I only wish she could see them too. Rinoa said she could see them. Can she, can she really see them?"_

Squall sat along the sandy ocean shore. He'd woken up early, walking the distance from Deling to the tranquil beach several kilometers away. It was still dark when he left for the coast, but the time alone was good for him, as it always was. He had brought his gunblade along, just in case he ran into trouble along his journey. When reaching the isolated beach, he sat down on the velvety sand. The sun was just beginning to peer over the horizon when he first arrived. Now it was openly greeting the new day. The ginger and burgundy hues merged with the shadowy tones of the night sky.

The water only reflected the beauty of the colors, enhancing them tenfold. Seagulls were flying overhead to get the last remains of what the tide had swept in. Foam-tipped waves gently met the shores, as Squall tried to take in every minuscule detail. He had never seen the beauty within a sunrise, or sunset. That always seemed frivolous, when so much greater things were at risk.

"To feel with your skin, to hear with your ears, to see with your heart."

Those had been Rinoa's words yesterday. Squall inhaled deeply, savoring ever breath of the salty air and closed his eyes. At first, the feeling was very unnerving. The uncertainty of not seeing his surroundings was almost overpowering. Not being able to watch a foe approaching made him feel weak and vulnerable. A feeling he had spent most of his days at Garden learning to overcome. After a moment, that feeling of insecurity diminished. When he stopped thinking so hard and just started _feeling_, it was an extraordinary, new phenomenon.

The waves, the gentle waves, were the first sounds he noticed. Each echoed a small crash as it met the terra. In his mind's eye, he could see the sapphire and emerald waves soothingly crashing upon the shoreline. He noticed an almost rhythmic sound to the union. Roughly, it sounded like a strained form of music.

Then Squall focused his hearing to nosiest inhabitants of the beach, the seagulls. Listening carefully one could almost here them talking to one another, a language only known to the others within their breed. One would call out, then the others responded with noticeable vocal tones… they were communicating. Sometimes when one flew over his head, Squall could hear the flap of wings… feel the wind change directions. Wind? Yes, there was a peaceful breeze tenderly blowing in from... the north? Yes, it was definitely a northern wind. He could feel it playing with his long hair, every once in awhile a strand would tickle the bridge of his nose.

The salty taste of the ocean danced upon his senses. Not only could he smell the ocean, he could literally taste the bitterness. Squall felt the warmth of the sun increasing on his jaded face. The sun was rising quickly now. Feeling the intensity, he could pinpoint, by sensation alone, where it was in the morning sky. The experience was that only compared to pure nirvana. "_Why have I never noticed these little things before?_"

No longer could he contain the smile now forming freely on his face, but before he knew it, Squall Leonhart was laughing to himself. He was laughing. "Why have I not seen this beauty before?" The pounding of the waves, the blowing of the wind, the voices of the seagulls… everything that surrounded him, made the most gorgeous lullaby.

That morning Squall Leonhart **_saw_** the sunrise, for the first time in his life.

And it was beautiful.

* * *

Yesterday had been hard on her. That was a simple fact. The feelings racing through her mind were almost too much to accept. He had held her. As much as Rinoa loathed him for betraying her, she couldn't shake the feeling of security she felt with him, only with him. There was no denying a connection still existed between them; one she would try forever to overcome.

"_Will he really not give up on me? Why is he fighting so hard now, after a year? Is it because I am blind, or is it because he really does need me? That's ridiculous… why would he want me? He could have anyone he wants… I would never be more than a burden to him… the Commander of SeeD having to help me around like some kind of child._"

She put her brush softly down on the dresser, deciding not to over analyze the moment right now. It was time for breakfast, and she was ravenous. Last night she hadn't felt like eating any supper, her stomach still in knots from the earlier confrontation. Going home to her room, Rinoa sat on the balcony feeling the wind swirling around her. There was a peace and tranquility within the darkness, which others could never understand. She listened to the distinctive sounds of the night, a melody within its own rights.

She really was missing Angelo at this moment. Her faithful companion had been taken to Dollet to go through special training. Caraway had offered to get her a seeing-eye dog, but Rinoa had insisted that Angelo was young and intelligent enough to go through the vigorous training. Angelo would be gone a few months, and then the trainers would bring the skilled dog back to work with her. All this was done in secrecy, to keep suspicion down. Nobody in Deling would give it a second thought if she were walking her dog on the streets. Angelo had been a great friend during everything, a friend who could curl up next to you and give you a kiss on the face if you needed it. She missed that damn dog.

Walking down the stairs Rinoa could hear her father talking in the study. "_He is back?" _He had gone to Esthar for strictly political motivations. She really didn't ask her father too much about his occupation, and he didn't ask her too much about her life. It was a mutual agreement, one that had never been spoken. Reaching the final step, she heard him hang up the phone.

"Rinoa, please come into my study for a few minutes."

Throughout the whole nightmare, he was more than willing to pay for the finest medical treatments money would allow. The top physicians, eye specialists, and medical therapists were at her disposal. Unfortunately, the help was all monetary. He had spent little time with her during hospital recovery, and even less now. The General would come in once in awhile, make a good 'I'm here if you need me' speech, and leave just as abruptly.

Managing around the house had been something achieved with hours of practice. She easily walked into the study and sat on the small settee that was nearest the doorway. It sure was one of the most uncomfortable things she had ever sat on. Rinoa figured it cost an arm and leg, was only meant to look good. This, of course, meant nothing to her.

"These arrived for you a little while ago." As the General said the words, she could smell the powerful aroma of flowers filling the air.

"Roses," she replied almost sorrowfully. "What color are they?"

"Peach, there's no card with them. Do you know who they might be from?"

"Yes, I have a fairly good idea." Slowly she reached her hand out, grabbing one by the stem. It was only by chance that no thorns pricked her, but truly, she wouldn't have cared. Some things were worth the consequences. Deeply inhaling the fragrance, she closed her eyes, although the point was moot. Yet it allowed her to relax, being captivated in the simple flower. "They are beautiful, aren't they?"

"Yes, I suppose they are… if one likes that sort of thing," Caraway replied. Moving closer, he sat on the coffee table in front of her. Rinoa knew something was amiss, as he never talked to her like this. Ever. There had to be something wrong… or something he needed. She knew him too well.

"Rinoa, I need to talk to you about something. After the elections a few months ago, President Mitchell decided to start a new World Council. I received a call from him personally, he'd like me to run as the representative of congress, third district, City of Deling. The reason I went to Esthar was to check on the new peace treaties we proposed. If I can get them to sign, I have a great chance of winning the election, running virtually unopposed. Re-establishing a substantial trade agreement with them and several of their allies would guarantee victory. Both Balamb and Trabia already have trade agreements with them… And with the new found oil in Trabia, this would be a virtual windfall for Deling."

"That's great! Trade agreements would really help the entire economy, especially Timber's. Something like this would be terrific for them."

"Yes, it sure would, they would have a substantial amount of financial gain also. This is where you come in, Rinoa. According to the polls, General Alexster and I are neck-and-neck. The president feels that I need something to push the view of the voters in my favor. I would like you to go public with your blindness on national television. I would be there, beside you, every step of the way. When the Estharian officials see you, they will be glad to sign the treaties…especially if you are there on the side of Timber."

Rinoa couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You what? You want to use the fact I lost my sight to make the public feel sorry for you? For Timber? On television with my _dear old daddy_ right next to me, going for father of the year, are we? I will be damned if I ever help you win an election on sympathy. The only one, who will pity you, is me!"

"Don't take that tone with me young lady. This is still my house, and you will respect my authority."

"Yes, _sir_! Anything you want, _sir_!" she replied maliciously.

Rinoa got off the davenport, as quickly as she could. Heading directly to the patio doors, she slammed the glass frames as physically hard as possible. Following the stone path, she immediately headed to the flower gardens. They had always been a favorite of hers, ever since she was little girl. A place where she felt secure, a place where she felt she belonged. If there was such a place anymore. Rinoa continued her way to the gazebo, sitting herself on the aged wooden swing. As a naive child, she spent many hours there daydreaming: the perfect life, the perfect husband, and a family that would love her. She would not let anyone make her cry, but now nothing in her life would ever be perfect anymore.

* * *

Rinoa could feel someone approaching. "_Go away Caraway_." Yet, she would not speak out loud to him, not now. Then she realized it wasn't her father, as the person sat down on the bench next to her.

"I told you leave me alone, Squall."

Ignoring her last statement he casually replied, "Did you spend a lot of time out here as a child?"

Without the desire to fight or argue anymore, Rinoa timidly answered his question. "Yes, especially after my mother died."

"It's really beautiful. I can see why."

"Yeah," she whispered quietly.

After a few seconds of not knowing how to react to Squall's presence, Rinoa turned her head away. Inquisitiveness was beginning to get the better of her, and she wanted to know how everyone at Balamb Garden was doing. Right now, her anger toward her father overshadowed that toward Squall. Rinoa was surprised at how easily she opened up to this man next to her, the same one she never wanted to speak to again.

"He wants to use my blindness to win an upcoming election."

Squall was stunned. First, she was actually talking to him… not yelling, but actually talking. Second, it was something about her personal life. The thought of General Caraway using Rinoa bothered him too. "_How could a father use his daughter's disability to win public favor?_" Answering her statement proved extremely difficult, as one wrong word might set her anger off again.

"That's inexcusable Rinoa, for a father to use his daughter for political gain. It's your decision and yours alone. You will tell people when it's right."

"What if it is never right? I don't think there will ever be a perfect time. Hey everybody, look at me because I sure as hell can't look at you." No, she promised herself she would not cry anymore, but why are the tears so hard to keep at bay? He didn't answer to her last outburst, she could only hear his rhythmic breathing, a sound that she could never outgrow. "Squall, why are you here?"

"Because… I promised."

"Great," she answered sarcastically. "That promise you keep. Please… just go. I can't handle this right now. Don't you understand. I don't want you in my life… today, tomorrow, or ever."

"I don't believe that."

"What is there to believe Squall? It's simple… leave me alone."

"If you didn't want me in your life, why did you call for me?"

"I never called for you! You just showed up on my doorstep, like a lost puppy."

"No, not yesterday Rinoa… at the hospital, after the accident?"

"What in Diablo's name are you talking about?"

"In the hospital, the nurse told Quistis that you were asking for me. Rinoa, you were calling my name. You needed me… I should have been there for you."

All of her instincts told her to stand up and scream at him, "Yes, you should have been! But I'm sure that slut in your bed might not be happy about you walking out in the middle of… whatever the hell you two do in bed." Deciding that she would never let him know, she remained silent about any part of his betrayal. He would have to tell her the truth, if he was ever strong enough. She doubted he ever would be. "_If he really is this 'so called' lion_,_ he'd easily admit that he was a cheating son of a bi_… _Did I… did I really call his name?_" It was all so foggy, the hospital, the people… maybe she did.

So, she opted just to be vague. "I survived without you just fine."

"We… I am glad you did, I mean it. I'm very glad you didn't di... _leave us_. Also, I'm glad Robert was there for you."

"Well, my father sure wasn't. Robert's strength saved me." A long, awkward pause then followed. Finally, Rinoa spoke in a very melodious voice, "How are they?"

Squall knew exactly what she was saying, glad for the chance to talk to her without a slap in his face. He didn't want to say too much, that _always_ seemed to get him in trouble with her… then and now

"Quistis regained her teaching credentials, but I think she was working for her license while you were still there. She's teaching an advanced Civilization Progression class. Don't even ask me what that is… just glad it was nothing I was forced to take. Personally, I think it's a fancy word for 'history,' but looks more impressive on a resume." Rinoa chuckled at his comment, although she was sure he wasn't trying to be humorous now.

"Selphie and Irvine are still... well, Selphie and Irvine. Lots of fighting, but in the end they always make up. Just usually, a few scratches end up as war wounds. Trust me, Selphie's anger isn't pretty, but I think you know that too." Rinoa nodded in agreement, she had witnessed several conflicts between the two. In the end, Irvine learned he was always wrong… even if he wasn't.

"Ellone actually is going back to school for a medical degree, she wants to help as many people as possible. Laguna, Kiros, and Ward are still the three stooges. I only talk to Laguna when it's necessary, holidays, business, and time-compressing sorceress… that kind of stuff. Zell is still the happiest person I know… ignorance is bliss, I guess. Edea is doing well. Cid, well Cid sent me to the ballet."

"Cid sent you?" she asked shaking her head at the startling revelation. "I wondered why in the world you would be there. It's just not a_ '_you' thing."

His answer was astoundingly serious. "Maybe it was a 'me' thing, I just didn't know it yet. I never knew that going to the ballet could be so beautiful, in so many ways." He paused again before he answered her first question. "Yes, Rinoa the ballet was Cid's idea."

In a sarcastic voice, she replied. "Remember to thank Cid for me." Running her fingers on the chain-links that suspended the swing, she could feel herself getting too comfortable. She had to stop this; he had to leave. "Please Squall, I just want to be alone now. I'm asking you... just go away."

Squall could hear the pleading in her raspy voice, but something else in her face told Squall she wanted him to stay. Not wanting to ruin the polite conversation they had, he rose to his feet, and started walking the white gravel road out of the garden. Right before he reached the corner of the house, he stopped in his tracks.

"Rinoa, I 'watched' the sunrise today." Then Squall turned around, walking silently off without saying goodbye.

Rinoa didn't exactly know what he had meant by the last comment. Nevertheless, she couldn't help the small smile across her face, "I did too Squall… I did too."

* * *

Again, they found themselves at the small café from the other morning. This time all four were smashed into a tiny booth. In-depth, heated, and very imperative conversations were taking place.

"All I'm saying Zell is go to the grocery store! Buy a pack of hot dogs, and then buy a pack of buns. Cook said hot dogs, put in said buns…problem solved." Selphie reasoned while giving Zell a most obnoxious glare. "Really not hard, get pan, boil water, and put hot dogs in. Simple."

By now, Quistis and Irvine were trying to keep a straight face. Until Irvine added, "You know if that 'boiling water' thing confuses you. You can always use our little friend 'Mr. Microwave'. Put in, hit button, wait thirty seconds. Wow, instant hot dog! It's a magic little box!"

Zell was getting more livid with each word. "Guys, I just said Garden should make more hot dogs. I just like them. You make it sounds like my world revolves around hot dogs, it doesn't. **_I am better than a hot dog_**!"

Quistis blurted out, "No, the hot dog was a little better. I have the test scores right here to prove it." With that, everyone laughed, even Zell had to smile at his own stupid comment.

Zell spoke up again, "Guys do you realize we haven't had this much fun for ages. It's like, though she's still not with us, we feel like a family again. Even '_Squall-the-Depressing_' seems better off. I didn't realize how much a part of us Rin was… is."

It was true. Although they had gone on just fine with their lives, it still felt like something was missing. Now they knew what, or who, was missing.

"I think we should head back to Garden tomorrow," added Selphie. "I talked to Lauren this morning and the new cadets are arriving in two days. We should probably be there. I think Squall needs to handle the rest himself. There is only so much we can do, and the rest is up to him." They all concurred in absolute agreement. "But tonight, guess what? I got us all tickets to the ballet!"

"All right!" cried Irvine, "another chance to see men in tights!"

"We don't even have to go to the ballet for that," enlightened Zell. "We can just go to Irvine's room any night of the week." The others laughed yet again, save for Irvine.

* * *

"Three stairs, railing to the right, fourteen steps, left hand out, grab podium," instructed Robert to his tired cousin.

Tripping slightly on the last step, she seemed to get more agitated. "Grab microphone, scream, yell and tell the audience they are all idiots."

"No Rin, that isn't on the program tonight." Holding up a piece of paper, he shook his hand, letting the sound of the paper echo in the barren hall.

"Yeah, well… pencil it for eight."

She loathed this part, her life had become little more than counting and memorizing. Learning her own house was strenuous enough, but trying to learn on a temporary stage was certainly another.

"Who said I should introduce the President anyhow? What brilliant-minded person came up with this?" Rinoa was definitely in an unpleasant mood.

"I believe it was the ever-elusive, Maude McCay."

"You know I'm still a sorceress… remind me to petrify her later."

"I thought you already did? So you are telling me… _that_ is skin?" Each shared a laugh, as Rinoa walked the distance another time.

Practicing in the fully decorated reception hall, the two had the entire place to themselves. Rinoa hadn't taken the news very well. Receiving a call this afternoon, she was informed President Mitchell was going to be at the performance this evening. After the program, he would be giving some kind of inspirational speech. No doubt, this was done only to further her father's career. It wasn't a career, it was his life… and she was just the job he had to take care when he found time.

Unfortunately, for Rinoa, she answered the phone and couldn't come up with a lie quick enough to get out of doing this damn thing. Lying wasn't one of her strong suits; she could have mentioned something about food processors again. However, there was a good chance the President's top advisor wasn't going to buy it. Where was Zell when you needed him? She and Robert were on the stage practicing walking to the podium… she memorized the stairs, steps, and location of the microphone from her chair. How was she going to pull this one off?

"Got it: three stairs, fourteen steps, and left hand to podium. Yes!" she cheerfully exclaimed. It was the first time she had done it faultlessly. "I just want to go over it again… like fifty more times."


	6. Noon

-Final Fantasy belongs to those intelligent people at Square, and I am certainly not one of them.

**_Chapter Six: _****_Noon_**

It was slightly passed noon when Squall returned to the hotel. Walking down the stairs to the tavern below, he saw his friends were enjoying their lunch. He didn't particularly feel like eating right now, but decided to sit down and order a mineral water anyway. Eating was something he did only when needed. Sometimes he would go days before giving into his hunger. A basic survival need that he only considered secondary.

When Rinoa was at Garden, she would make sure he ate three times a day. Even if it would only be a stick of celery, Rin would always check. Those were some of the little habits that annoyed him most, yet when she left, those were the ones he missed the most.

Somehow, the tension of the last two days was starting to get to him. His mind was swirling with emotions and feelings once lost, hidden deep within shadows of his mind. At Garden, it always seemed easier. He could get away from the students. They would leave him alone based purely on respect. Many knew of his habits, and would go to great lengths to avoid contact. If something bothered him, or he just felt the need to retreat into his own private world. The training center was always an option, no matter the time of day or night. But here, within the confines of the city, he felt trapped. He needed to get out of Deling, out of this nightmarish dream.

Squall had to fight, challenge himself in any physical way. It had been almost two days now, a record for him, and the emotions were weighing heavily on his perception of clarity. "Hey guys, I'm going outside of town to do a little monster hunting. Just need to clear my head. Anybody who wants to tag along. I'm leaving now."

"Sounds like fun!" exclaimed Zell. "It's been almost three days since I've done any damage. If I don't do something quick, I may end up killing Irvine."

"You would actually have to hit me first," replied the cowboy, casually eating his salt-drenched fries.

Zell didn't acknowledge the comment, just continued to look at Squall. He rejoined, "I definitely have to go now. Someone's going to eat his words."

"Yes," added Irvine, "and somebody's going to be eating dirt, like normal. As much fun as Zell dining on soil sounds, I'm going to hang around town for a bit."

Squall rolled his eyes at the two before asking, "Anybody else?"

Quistis tapped Selphie on the leg, pointing under the table to Irvine. The younger girl figured out what Quistis was trying to do. Knowing her, she had a plan. So, in a _not-so-obvious-attempt-to-hid-her-intent_, Selphie elbowed Irvine in the stomach, almost making him choke on his last fry.

Turning to the girl glaring at him, he rubbed his ribs. Overacting was a major flaw in Irvine's character, just ask anyone sitting at the table. "Hey, Squall," Irvine replied in a sarcastic manner, raising a single eyebrow to Selphie. "Seems like I didn't know it yet, but I'd really like to come along. I was just confused, thought I wanted to stay… but was informed that I was wrong… again."

Zell mumbled something under his breath, which everyone managed to pick up the words 'accidentally' and 'kill'.

* * *

After the men left, Selphie turned to the older SeeD, "Okay, what do you have planned? Most importantly, does it involve any weapons of mass destruction?"

Setting her water bottle on the table, Quistis gave the girl a very bewildered, and extremely nervous, look. "Um… no Selphie. Anything that causes _mass destruction_ is not on today's agenda, sorry to disappoint you. However, I wanted to go back to the hospital to re-interview the nurse. Something she said yesterday had me thinking all night. I just want to clear it up. I'm sure it's nothing… but then again, it could be something. I'm not leaving anything to chance anymore."

"Can we stop and look at all the babies? I just love the newborns in the nursery!" Selphie gave her best puppy-dog eyes. "Pleaseeeeee…"

"Yes, we can stop and look at the nursery. That is, if I don't have to literally drag you out when it's time to go. Remember two years ago? They still have your picture at nurse's station."

Approving quickly of the answer, Selphie gave a small yelp, and then stood up doing a stirring rendition of her Garden-famous 'happy dance.' The scene caused others around her to turn her way, giving the most malicious stares.

Quistis bit her lip nodding her head at the patrons around her. Finally, she told them, "You should see her when she is _really_ happy. This is nothing."

* * *

As the elevator doors opened to the third floor of the hospital, Quistis and Selphie stepped out. Heading directly to the nursing station, the two walked up hoping to clear a few things up.

"Yes, I'm SeeD Quistis Trepe and this is my associate. We are looking for Nurse Kimberley Hatch. Is she on duty today?"

The senior nurse behind the counter looked at the two women standing in front of her. Slowly she gave them the once over, from their hairstyles to the tips of their shoes. "SeeDs, huh?" She continued to peer at them through her dark-rimmed reading glasses. "Right… whatever."

Reaching down she scribbled something on her clipboard, showing it to a younger lady. They both shared a spiteful sounding laugh. Before the older one replied, "Wait there." She snapped her fingers and pointed to the waiting area, with a snarl she turned around. "SeeD, now my day is complete."

Selphie couldn't help but giggle at the woman's impolite demeanor. "It's Squall's long lost grandmother." she whispered to Quistis.

Quistis chuckled in return, "No, she spoke way too much. There was also no mention of _talking to a wall_."

The nurse reappeared from the desk, after hanging up the phone receiver. "Go stand over there. In the area marked 'waiting'. Talking to SeeD… blah… I'd rather talk to that wall."

Selphie looked at her friend, "That's just…."

"… scary," finished Quistis. They eyed each other one last time, before hurrying quickly to the seating area. It was like some parallel-universe… and Squall was a sixty-year-old nurse from hell.

They sat down on the uncomfortable vinyl chairs, looking at the odd variety of magazines scattered among the tables. "Look Selphie, fifty 'fun' ways to cook macaroni and cheese. The date on this magazine is older than I am."

Selphie just looked up at her with an enormous grin. "That's nothing… they have my favorite piece of literature here 'One Fish, Two Fish.' It's a classic."

Around the corner, a young fair-haired nurse walked into the waiting area. "Hello, I'm Kimberley Hatch. May I help you?"

"Yes, I'm Quistis Trepe. I talked with you for a few minutes yesterday morning. I needed to clarify something you mentioned about your patient, Rinoa Heartilly." The instructor reached out her hand in an offer to shake.

The nurse politely smiled and returned the courteous gesture. "Oh sure, I remember. Sorry about that, I'm just getting off working a double shift, just a little tired."

"I'll bet, here let me introduce you to Selphie Tilmitt," speaking in her best diplomatic voice. The younger girl held out her hand, in much the same way the instructor had done. "Well, the reason we are here Ms. Hatch, is because yesterday you mentioned that Rinoa had spoken while she was still comatose. I believe you mentioned something about the name 'Squall.' From what I gathered from your interview, you implied it was said often... However, you also made the comment that is all she basically said. Do you happen to recall if she said something else? Or, by any chance, do you remember, what else was said? Even if it might not make sense to you, it might hold some importance to us."

"Actually I remember quite well. Through the days, she wouldn't say much, just muttered in her sleep. Mostly incoherent syllables, as far as that goes… I'm sorry I can't be of too much help. What I could understand clearly was the name, always the same. Except for this one time. I'd fallen asleep in the chair beside the bed. Waking up, I could hear Rinoa speaking. I checked for signs she'd come out of the coma, but she was still non-responsive. The remarkable thing was she sounded like she was actually talking to someone. I figured it was an imaginary conversation with that 'Squall' person."

Raising an eyebrow Quistis inquired, "Do you remember anything she said? This may be very important for Rinoa's recovery… both physical and mental."

"Yes, it was something along the lines of, '_I'm sorry… I know I'm not alone_.' The last understandable sentence was like, '_I never thought you would say that to me, I love you too.' _Honestly, I didn't hear the first part of the conversation. I don't know how long I'd been sleeping. She was just delusional. It's actually very common in patients under such traumatic circumstances."

Quistis couldn't help the smile on her face. "I'm sure that is all it is too, thanks for you're help. All of Rinoa's friends and family appreciate the time and care you gave her. We only wish we could've been here, by her side."

The nurse beamed in sincerity, "I know you do. Well, I must get back to work now." She made a motion with her hand, pointing to the recovery rooms behind her shoulder. "I know I'm technically off the clock, but… there are still people who need me. Just like your friend."

When the nurse left the two SeeDs alone, Quistis was so ecstatic she ran immediately over grabbing Selphie. Giving her the biggest embrace she almost wept, "I don't believe it!"

"Um, Quistis, are you alright? Am I missing something here?"

Still holding Selphie in a tight grip, she blissfully replied, "Yes! He did it. He finally did it."

"Okay? _Who_? Did _what_?" Selphie couldn't hide the uncertainty from her voice.

"Squall told Rinoa he loved her!"

Selphie took a step back from her over-energetic cohort. "Huh, that's not what I heard... I heard that Rinoa was having an 'imaginary' conversation with Squall. So did imaginary Squall tell Rinoa that he imaginarily loved her? Or did our Squall know, at that very moment Rinoa was unconscious in a hospital bed and she heard him talking thousands of kilometers away"

Quistis only kept nodding, trying to encourage her friend to make the same conclusion she had already drawn. "Right Selphie, but if someone is unconscious nobody knows how their minds hear things. Just like talking to someone in a coma. So..."

"…So, I don't think the nurse was telling Rinoa she was in love with her. Kimberley was the only one in the room. There is no way she could have heard another voice, unless... someone else was in her head?"

Still holding on the shorter woman, Quistis could barely keep her poise. "When Sis sent us back into Laguna's memories, he said they could 'feel' it. He just thought the fairies were with him. However, when Ellone sent Squall back into Rinoa's past, Ultimecia sensed his presence. Rin has sorceress' powers, and with her mind being in a comatose state..."

"She _could_ hear him!" screamed Selphie. She quickly hugged Quistis in return and noticed the evil nurse at the desk giving them a malicious look, and pointing feverishly to the '_quiet_' sign.

"So Selph, if he doesn't remember this yet. It hasn't happened. Maybe, the only way to really get these two back together is for Squall to experience the past. Her past… and his."

"I have a call to make!" said Selphie gleefully. "I'll go back to the hotel and call Ellone. Find out if she is available tomorrow, to meet us in Balamb. We can tell her what's happening then. You think she'll do it, don't you?"

"Without a doubt, she's been worried about Squall this last year. Look, I think I'm going back to Caraway's and talk to Rinoa. May be there's something else that can help us."

* * *

"Yo Squall, leave some monsters for the rest of us," demanded Zell.

"Sorry guys, I just have a lot on my mind." Squall replied in between slashes of his gunblade. The meager creature never had a chance.

"Yeah, sure buddy... your mind. I'm sure you're not thinking about Rinoa tonight with her tight fitting dress, her long legs, her exposed bust line..."

Squall drove the tip of his gunblade deeply into the ground. Irvine knew his words would upset his commander and friend. That had been his intention. The group had discussed things in-depth, into the late hours of the night. The one thing they unanimously agreed upon, was that Squall never showed much emotion towards Rinoa… good or bad. He hid his true emotions well, but maybe together, in the current circumstances, they could get him to open up.

So, Irvine made a typically Irvine comment…about one subject that was taboo. Even if it meant pissing Squall off and getting physically injured in the process. The commander had to discover his own mistakes; ones he had made in the past with Rinoa. She needed to be treated as a woman, a girlfriend, anything but just another female friend. That's all he ever told people she was, nothing more. Fears held him at bay last time, and Squall's friends needed him to know he was capable of loving her this time. Rinoa needed someone to love her, to hold her, to be there mentally and physically, not someone to ignore her most of the time.

"Don't you dare talk about Rinoa like that, like some piece of meat! I've warned you before… this will be the last time." His tone grew deeper in anger.

"Squall," answered Irvine, defending his ground. "I don't think of her as a 'piece of meat.' I think of her as a woman. Not like a little porcelain doll that may get broken, a woman. Even though I might act like womanizer, I have Selphie. Damn it, I love her more than anything in this world. Tell you something about women Commander Leonhart, they do like to be noticed, they do like to be touched, and every once and a while… they might actually like to hear your feelings."

"Irvine's right Squall," interjected Zell, trying to lighten the seriousness of the conversation. "I think the world may be coming to an end, but Irvine's right. Did you ever tell her how you feel? Did you ever really show her?"

Squall took a step back, placing his right hand on his gunblade. Not wanting to look at his friends, for he found it challenging to address them right now. His fingers carefully played with the handle, as his eyes turned mournfully to the ground. "No, suppose I never told her anything." He placed one hand on his forehead, trying to wipe the sweat from his brow. Then he casually ran the same hand through the locks of his hair, pushing them off his face. "I guess…everything was still so new to me back then. I thought Rinoa knew how I felt. Looking back now, I never even admitted to myself how I felt toward her. When I never said anything, or did anything to back it up, how was she to know?"

Squall continued talking to his friends with uncertainty hampering his rough voice. "One night she fell asleep in my room, nothing happened. I sat next to her on the bed, just watching the beauty and tranquility of her sleeping. God, it had to have been hours, I just watched her. Every breath, every sound… it was just so magical. Finally, I decided to lie down on the floor, I fell asleep so quickly. Truthfully, it was the best night's sleep I ever had. The concrete floor was nothing compared to having her there. To have her close to me, in the same room, made me feel whole. Why the hell didn't I ever tell her?"

Irvine snickered, "Guess this means the unbelievably innocent Squall Leonhart has never seen a woman naked."

Squall just shook his head at the thought, remembering his wake-up call from Lauren. "Well, there was this one time…but it's definitely not like your thinking Irvine. It was completely an accident. Then of course, I think I saw most of Maude McCay's cleavage. Something, I'm pretty sure, I'll need therapy for the rest of my living days." He couldn't believe what he was saying, the two most embarrassing moments in his life. He'd sworn to himself, never to tell anyone about either unsettling event. Yet somehow, these guys had him talking. Saying things, he never wanted another living soul to know, not in a million years.

Zell scratched his head and smirked at Squall. "So this means you are still a vir-"

"Shut up, Zell!" ordered Squall as he raised his gunblade off the ground, pointing it at the martial artist's jugular.

"Shutting up, Commander Leonhart…Sir!" bellowed Zell, giving Squall the official SeeD salute.

* * *

Quistis strolled along the main boulevard. Somehow, everything appeared brighter today. The flowers where absolutely breathtaking, the trees were the richest colors of jade, and the sky was a deep azure blue with beautiful ashen clouds. Even the gray streets and sidewalks seemed enchanting. The instructor couldn't even help the slight bounce in her step. "_Boy, is this how Selphie feels everyday?_" If she did, Quistis could now understand how one person can be so positive. The world just seemed to be a better place. Turning the corner, General Caraway's mansion was now in sight. A sudden thought entered her head, what if Rinoa didn't want to see her? That was not an option. She would, Quistis was going to make sure of that.

"Yes, please tell Rinoa that Quistis Trepe is here to see her."

"I will ma'am, but Miss Heartilly hasn't been in the best mood today. I'll check to see if she'll accept company," explained the maid as she started to shut the door. "Please wait here."

The instructor thought to herself, "_Don't these people ever ask anyone in?_" Figuring it must be some sort of security measure for the General, the thought quickly subsided as Rinoa answered the door.

"Quistis?" inquired a faint, hesitant voice.

"Hey Rin, I just wanted to stop by and talk to you for a minute. Please."

"Sure, you're alone right?"

"Yes, I am."

"Let's go into the den."

She watched Rinoa go from the door to the large study, completely astonished. If Quistis hadn't known better, she would think Rinoa could see perfectly fine. Not one missed step, not one caught foot under the oriental rugs. She knew the location of every piece of furniture, and avoided them.

"I know you're probably here to talk about _him_."

"Not really Rinoa, not if you don't want to."

Rinoa smiled weakly back at Quistis, "I just don't know what I want anymore."

"Well not every thing in life is certain, but I'd be willing to bet on you two."

"Please Quistis… don't." It was said as a plea. "If you bet on us, I'm sure you will lose too. It's all just a gamble isn't it? We can't control anything in life, as much as we want or try. You never know what will happen: becoming a sorceress, falling in love, coming home early, driving a car, losing your sight. Nobody can see the future. I told that to Squall once, it never occurred to me how true that statement would be. I'll never 'see' the future again."

"Please don't talk like that, Rin." Quistis thought for a second of what Rinoa had just told her. She understood all of what her friend was saying except for _coming home early_, which must have something to do with her father. The instructor dismissed it to the back of her mind. "Are you really doing all right?"

"Honestly? At first no, the hardest thing in my life was to open my eyes every morning and still only see the night. It was like well... it was happening to someone else. I just kept hoping I'd wake up from this nightmare. Only thing is, I never woke up. Then after a couple of weeks, I started learning all about life again. It was like being a kid, learning how to do the simplest tasks. Robert had come back to Deling to help me. In the end, I learned to use all my senses to make up for the loss of my sight. You know it really is true, your other senses do increase… kind of like magic."

"Speaking of which… can you still use your magic, your sorceress abilities?"

"Actually yes, I can. I remember once being so upset with Robert, thinking he didn't understand me or what I was going through. I cast a blind spell on him." Rinoa started smiling at the vivid memory. "He was so mad at me, but refused to admit it. He's way too proud… like Squall would have done, had I blinded him. Unfortunately for him, Rob didn't know how to use magic, so he couldn't cure himself. I left him that way for two days. Now, he truly thanks me, said the experience taught him a lot."

"How does the blind spell differ from your situation?"

"Well, like all para-magic, blind spells aren't what they seem. On a spell, it's the equivalent to a bright flash, or being blinded by the sun. It only affects the outward vision of the cornea…but mine is internal, from the head trauma. It's not an illusion for the brain, the damage lies within the visual cortex. I learned all about it at the hospital… there are so many technical terms. It's classified as cortical blindness, so I can never use Ensuna one day and be cured."

Caught up in the explanation, Quistis almost forgot one of the main reasons for stopping by. "Rinoa, do you remember anything from the hospital or about the accident?"

"I remember looking at the lights, when they wheeled me in the emergency room. The rectangular tiles on the ceiling are the last thing I remember, I believe. Far as recovery goes there, not too much. Squall said earlier that I was calling 'his' name. I don't remember that at all. Frankly, I don't believe I would have called for him."

Everything she said up until her last statement had been true. Yet she damn well knew she probably did call for Squall. As much as Rinoa resented him, she was aware of how much she still loved him. "_Damn it, did I say love again?_" Okay, she corrected herself, "_How much I still care for him as a friend. Yeah, that's it, a friend_."

Quistis reached over, giving her comrade a tender hug. She could notice the tears in her eyes. By the swollenness of her face, she could tell this wasn't the first time today Rinoa had cried. "Well Rin, I've got to get going… for now. Have some plans for this evening that I can't cancel. Hey seriously, if you ever need anyone, call me. I'll always be there for you, no matter the hour. I know Robert is here, but let's face it, some things you just need to talk about with another woman. Men just don't always get it. If you're really feeling daring, come visit me at Garden, everyone would love to see you again. Cid misses your smile in the morning, and of course, he also misses someone pestering him to clean his desk. We _all_ miss you."

"I miss you guys too. I just don't think I'm ready yet." Silently she added, "_And I never will be_."

* * *

"So, why didn't anyone tell me to bring my SeeD uniform?" inquired Zell.

Squall turned from the full-length mirror in his hotel room, never giving any indication of emotion other than that of complete seriousness. "Regulation 7: section 4: paragraph 21 states: all SeeD members must carry their official uniforms with them on any personal, non-related Garden time off. In case leave is revoked and official business is required by Balamb Garden or any of its affiliates."

"Damn, man… I'm going have to sit down and read that thing sometime," replied Zell, shaking his head. "Now, I'm forced to rent a tuxedo. First person who calls me a penguin_… _dies." Slicking back his light-colored hair, he shut the hotel room door, leaving the other two inside.

Mercifully, the martial artist couldn't hear Irvine, repeating the phrase, '_waddle, waddle_.'

Squall shook his head and smiled, wearing his formal uniform was something he truthfully reviled. Dress attire only reminded him of graduation night. The first time he met _her_, but now, she was going to be there tonight. Wearing his uniform seemed only fitting.

"Squall, I've read the SeeD manual. There's no paragraph 21 in section 4," retorted the cowboy as he looked in the bathroom mirror, straightening his ponytail.

"I know Irvine," said Squall. "Just thought I'd mess with his mind a little. Who actually knows why the girls brought theirs. I packed mine out of habit, but it came in handy for the occasion."

Irvine walked out of the bathroom, strolling over to his commander. Then in casual style, put his arm around Squall's shoulder. "Did I ever tell you that I like the evil side of you?"

"Whatever… Now, don't _ever_ touch me again," said Squall forcefully pushing Irvine's arm off his body.


	7. Afternoon

-Final Fantasy and all related characters belong to Square, bet you didn't know that… Oh you did? Sorry.

**_Chapter Seven: Afternoon _**

In all technicality, wearing their uniforms was prohibited by regulations - unless it was 'official' Garden business. The exception to the rule was government or military functions. Since President Jefferson Mitchell would be attending the performance tonight, it was acceptable for the SeeDs to wear their formal attire. Maybe Squall wore it for lack of other clothes, or maybe he wore it to relive a moment that haunted him forever. One so beautiful, that only the stars above could echo its splendor. He needed the reminder. Moreover, he needed her to remember that night, that feeling that forever touched his soul.

The two women were getting ready in another hotel room. Both wearing their uniforms, and both excited about the upcoming evening. Not only to see Rinoa dance, but for what possibilities that lie ahead of them.

Looking her regal self, Quistis stood close to the vanity mirror. Carefully, she applied the last touches of eyeliner. "Sis really said she was coming tomorrow?" Although she had heard the answer before, she felt the unfounded need to ask again.

Selphie was also busy in her attempts to put on pantyhose, the maladroit tries looked more as if she was hopping like a bunny on one foot. Still her attitude never dampened. "She sure is! She'll be making other arrangements on her homework for the next few days. I can't believe she's actually a third year medical student." Selphie was now anxiously jumping up and down, trying to pull the bags out from her ankles. "Oh God, who labels these things? What do they mean petite? They're baggy enough for Irvine to wear and still have room to spare."

"It's his tight fetish again, isn't it? He secretly walks around in your pantyhose and stretches them out when nobody is watching." Selphie made some type of squealing sound, continuing the war with the evil nylons. Quistis continued, "Anyway, I can see a medical career for Ellone. She had to play doctor for us too many times, it's probably second nature to her."

"Yeah, that makes perfect sense. I remember punching a few of the boys a time or two… she was always right there to patch 'em up. Her train should be arriving in Balamb tomorrow, sometime in the early evening."

"Selph, did she say if Laguna is coming?"

"She didn't say, but I kind of hope not. Squall is already going to be... well Squall. I don't think we need the added tension of having Sir Laguna there."

There was a knock at the door, Selphie walked over and looked in the peek-hole. "**Squall warning,** all fun must now subside. **Beep, Beep, Beep**, this is not a drill." Selphie then opened the door, looking directly in Squall's un-amused eyes.

The commander stood staring directly back at her, his expression never wavering.

Selphie couldn't help but to laugh at his appearance. His expression lay between confusion and anger…. "Repeat, this is an actual Squall emergency. Please gather small children, the elderly, beloved family pets, and get to the nearest shelter."

Quistis snickered, grabbing her purse from the desk. Squall was not amused.

* * *

Selphie walked out of the hotel into the sweltering, humid evening air. "Did anybody know it was still like eighty-five degrees out here? These uniforms were not designed for nights like this."

Quistis completely understood, "Remind me to ask at the next board meeting about designing a summer uniform." Her long flaxen hair pulled back into a tight bun. She'd left the jacket off until they reached the auditorium.

"Something in a two-piece bikini and very high cut," retorted Irvine. "Maybe with a nice SeeD emblem centered directly on the butt." He didn't have time to duck from the blows of both Selphie and Quistis. "Okay girls, sorry… I didn't mean to offend your good taste… we can leave off the emblem."

Still another round of attacking purses met his torso.

"Hey, at least you're not dressed like a penguin. Hey _'Penguin Boy,'_ shouldn't you be munching on some fish?"

Squall reached his hand out, grabbing Zell's jacket without even turning to look, or ever missing a step. "Down boy… the penguin suit looks nice on you."

"Well, at least I don't have that John Wayne meets Alice Cooper look," Zell tauntingly said, glaring across Squall over to Irvine. The commander still held Zell's shoulder and with the other hand, he reached out and grabbed Irvine's jacket.

Shaking his head, Squall took a deep breath of the night air. Somehow, he felt more the referee in the game of life than a player. "Irvine, the black leather cowboy-thingy looks good on you. Zell, you wear the penguin look well… take it as a compliment, I guess. Just, please, don't make me separate you two. We're going to the ballet, not a boxing match."

The referee then dropped his arms down to either side. The two men walked in silence the rest of the distance, save for Irvine, who could be heard whispering, '_waddle, waddle_' if one listened close enough.

It was about a ten-minute hike to the civic center. Again, the reality of the evening was slowly sinking into his grasp. A few nights ago, he had made this same journey to the same event. Two different perspectives based on one single element. Rinoa. Curious, how one person makes all the difference between heaven and hell. The torturous purgatory he considered this last time, in comparison to the magnificent nirvana it now represented. However, for now, he found himself somewhere in between. Not knowing how she would react to them being there, but nevertheless, excited about her reactions.

Life truly was a paradox.

* * *

One would think that, because of the amount of times she had preformed over the last nine months, it would get easier. Well, to be precise, she had only been on stage for six of those months… the last three without any sight. This had never been her dream; ballet was a far cry from helping a country gain their independence. But this was personal. She had issues to resolve within herself, promises to keep. No matter if it took her fifteen years to honor those promises. After what she had been through, Rinoa knew how important her word was… even to someone no longer on this earth. A promise was a promise, a bond she would not break.

Since the accident the other dancers thought she had changed, little did they know. No longer did she dress with them; no longer did she practice with the company unless Robert was by her side. Many thought she felt they were responsible for the accident, for the party which she fled from. Yes, she had distanced herself, but only to hide what she had truthfully never completely accepted. Neither the words she spoke, nor the feelings she felt… she only thought that others would pity her, and that was her one shortcoming.

This was the final performance for the season, and for that, she was glad. She could move on, but to what she didn't know. There wasn't a huge cry for blind resistance fighters, or for sorceresses who couldn't see their hands in front of their face. Nevertheless, she decided that no matter what she did… it would make a difference.

Somehow, _she_ would make a difference.

"Hey Rin, you ready?" Robert's voice cut through the silent darkness.

"Oh… um… yeah. Sorry, just getting lost in my thoughts," she timidly rejoined.

"It's okay really. You have a lot to think about today." He jumped up onto the dressing room counter, sitting down causally. "They're ready for you in makeup… when you're ready that is..." Robert paused almost dramatically, before asking the true question he wanted answered. "Hey, I know it's not my business, but did you talk to him anymore?"

"Yeah," she softly replied. "I don't think he gets the hint to go away."

"Well Rinoa, you just have one of those magnetic personalities. And he doesn't seem the type of person to give up easily on something he wants. So, I guess you're stuck with that irresistible force and immovable object contradiction."

"Right," she laughed. "Yeah, Squall Leonhart is an immovable object, that's the only thing right in that statement… you really know nothing about him. The only thing he cares about in life is SeeD, black leather, and gunblades… and I am none of those. What you are seeing is only pity, not caring. Trust me, those are two different things."

"Rinoa, I think he cares… you should see the way he looks at you." He stopped. "Hey, I didn't mean it like that."

"Yeah, whatever." Her answer was abrupt.

"Well when you are ready for an escort, just yell." He jumped off the counter walking out of her dressing room. "You know Rinoa maybe he has changed, if you would ever give him a chance. And maybe, just maybe, he changed because he cares for who you are… not about what you can or cannot do." When he was no longer in sight, she hardly could control the anger rising within.

She slammed her brush down to the table. The last thing Rinoa was in the mood for right now was a lecture from her normally supportive cousin. Who somewhere, along the line, seemed to jump on the 'Squall-is-a-demigod' bandwagon.

"Yeah, I'll tell you how great that cheating bastard can be," she muttered under her breath.

"Rinoa?"

"Oh God," she said closing her eyes, desperately hoping he didn't hear that comment. This she didn't need, she was already nervous about dancing… let alone dealing with him and his baseless sympathy. "Why should I not be surprised that you are here? Look, I don't need this tonight, just one more performance to get through. So I can get away from this hellish nightmare, which you somehow are starring in right now."

"You look very nice." He replied, his voice never faltering nor diverging from sincerity.

She wanted to scream, she wanted to yell. Nothing was getting through to him. Not now, not this afternoon, not yesterday. Somehow, maybe if he admitted his indiscretions this would have been easier. He had his chance. If he had truly felt sorry for the infidelity, he would have come after her a year ago. But he said nothing, not single word, not until he found out she was blind. Then Squall Leonhart wouldn't shut up, an oxymoron within itself.

"Great… will you go now?"

"No."

"I didn't think so."

"I wanted to let you know that I'm looking forward to watching you this evening."

"Whatever… I can't tell them who they should or shouldn't sell tickets to. Trust me, if I could, I would."

She seemed scarred. One minute she would be congenial, the next minute she would turn embittered and cross. He couldn't image the accident doing so much damage to her persona, but he hadn't been there. That fact alone gave him no rights to speculate on her condition, now or then. Sometimes he saw a longing in her eyes, some thing untold. Sometimes he saw nothing but anger directed solely toward him. He wanted to find out the truth, what had made her change, what had made her hold such contempt for him. She was the one who left; she was the one with the unspeakable secrets.

Somehow, courage was trying to manifest itself. He needed to ask the very question that had haunted him over the last year. "_Why? Why did you really leave me_?" A sudden knock on the door kept him from speaking any further.

"Come in, it's open," she beckoned. Personally, she was glad anyone besides him would be there in her company.

"Hello Miss Heartilly, it's me Richard Bennett… I promised my two young nieces that they could meet you. When would there be a good time?"

"Now!" She realized her own answer might have been too obviously swift. She really didn't care, as she just wanted Squall out of there. To no longer be alone with that man. "Yes, now would be a good time Mr. Bennett… any corporate sponsor of the ballet company is always welcome around here. Especially their nieces and nephews, I just love meeting the future of Deling." The words seemed clichéd in her own mind. Nevertheless, he was a major contributor to the repertory, and for that, he deserved the kindness of replies… even if laid on a bit thick.

Squall watched as the older man motioned for two skittish girls to walk forward. Each held a notebook, and seemed slightly in awe of meeting Rinoa. They slowly approached her, holding out their books. The star dancer smiled vibrantly, leaning down toward the two. "I'm so glad to meet you. What are your names?"

"I'm Nicky," replied one of the girls, extremely scared.

"And I'm Krissy," the other responded, mirroring the other's voice.

"Wow, those are beautiful names," Rinoa replied amiably. "You two are sisters? I always wanted a sister. You're just so lucky… and charming."

"So… so are you ma'am."

"Ma'am?" she lightheartedly countered. "I'm only twenty, please call me Rinoa. So I don't feel so old."

"I'm sorry," Krissy replied with visible embarrassment.

"Oh no honey, don't be sorry. I just want to think of you two as my friends… would that be all right with you?"

"Yes!" Nicky ecstatically shouted. "Would you…would you sign our autograph books?"

"Anything for a friend… or friends," she retorted.

Sitting at a desk nearby, she managed to grab the books and an accompanying ink-pen. Luckily, their uncle was busy speaking to another patron, and didn't notice her minor fumble. She signed her name, along with the simple phrase, 'Follow your dreams' on each of the pads. Squall watched as she tried to hide her nervousness, but he could sense it within her. He knew her too well, and the feelings carried over into him… as he also felt uneasiness.

Finally, she diminutively smiled at the sisters. "There you go girls. I hope you enjoy the performance tonight." They beamed back with excitement. Until one looked down at her book.

"Ma'am… ah… Rinoa? Um… I don't think the pen worked."

A sudden rush of electricity surged throughout her body. She could feel the flow of the pen meeting the paper, but did she feel the flow of the ink? More importantly, did she smell the distinct odor that it possessed? No. She had been too concerned about covering up; she had overlooked the obvious. Squall could tell the expression of panic upon her face, and the deepening fear within her soul.

"Hey," he suddenly spoke out, kneeling down to the two girl's level. "Do you see this uniform?" Both nodded as he pointed toward his formal attire. "Do you know what it is?"

"Yes… it's SeeD," confidently answered Krissy. "My uncle taught me all about it!"

"Right," he replied. "And guess what? Well, Rinoa here used to work for SeeD. Do you remember hearing about that?" They concurred again. "Good! Well, right now she is on another secret mission for us in Deling!"

"Wow, that's so cool!" exclaimed Nicky.

"Right, it_ is_ cool. But, Miss Heartilly can't let anyone else know she's working for us… so I am trusting you two with that knowledge. And the last thing Rinoa could do… is actually 'sign' a book, without using secret code." Seeing a pencil positioned next to a nearby telephone, he quickly reached over and retrieved it. "Here, let me see those." Gently he rubbed the lead of the pencil along the notepad, there by showing the indentations the pen left. They two became excited as they saw the covert message form.

"That's great! Real SeeD code and all!"

"Yes," the commander answered with a small smile. "Now, you know some of our best secrets… I'm hoping we can trust you with this important knowledge? Don't tell anyone, for your country, for SeeD, or for Rinoa. Got that?"

Both girls gave him a salute, before running away. Like a whirlwind, they ran out of the room, almost knocking their uncle off his feet. Bennett nodded toward Rinoa, who still looked completely traumatized. Squall could tell that she was lost. Trying to save face, he said the goodbyes for both of them.

"I… I… I can't believe you did that," her answer quiet, almost inaudible.

"It's all right Rinoa, I want to help," He tried to answer sincerely, continuing toward her.

"Help me… help me? How the hell are you helping me? You're making me look like a fool." Throwing her hands up in resentment, she could tell he was within a closer proximity. "Get…just get away from me… **Now!**"

"Rinoa, I just didn't want you to be embarrassed, I was just trying to…."

"Don't try a damn thing. Get the hell away from me before I call security." Rinoa grabbed the brush she had used only minutes before, flinging it toward him at a high rate of speed. He ducked, missing the direct hit. "Get out of here!"

"Fine…whatever," he raised his voice back at her. "What ever you say _princess_." The remark was subtle, but something left from her Timber Owls days. A nickname she would rather forget. When he called her that, it somehow felt demeaning.

"Don't you dare call me princess!"

"Look Rinoa, we are not going to do this right now. I am not going to do this right now. I just stopped by to let you know, we are all here, supporting you. I don't know exactly what your issues are, but damn it… I care. There you happy? I said it… I care. I'm sorry if I've offended you in any way, shape, or form. I've…I've got to go…"

Never saying goodbye… he never said goodbye. Just walked out the door as quickly as he arrived. She closed her eyes fighting back the anguish. Knowing deep down he had saved her from embarrassment. She hated that. For once, Squall Leonhart did something _right_. If she wanted nothing more to do with him, why was she angry with herself? Why was she so angry for his help? Why was she so angry he left…

…Without saying goodbye?

* * *

If every journey begins with a single step, Squall Leonhart had taken enough steps to start ten thousand journeys. Sometimes he didn't understand. Hell, most of the time he didn't understand, especially something, or someone, as complex as Rinoa Heartilly. Before when he did nothing, she would be there at his side, never questioning his intentions. Now when he did something, she only pushed him out the door, questioning his integrity.

Was his life more than a mystery? Could there even be answers to every question asked? Or was the mockery more bitter than the resolution? When he heard his voice within, was it answering his own question? The one he dared not speak. The fact she didn't want him, no matter how much he wanted her, was just another incongruity among many.

With every step, his strength grew, as did his resolve. Maybe before he would have walked away from her, but only because before he couldn't see her desolation. Not only was she in a world full of darkness physically, she was also trapped within the dark recesses of her heart. He had failed before, and why he didn't know. But, this time, this time… he would know.

The ballet itself was the same one staged a few nights ago. This time, Squall was able to watch the complete dance, instead of getting lost in his secluded world. After the recital, the SeeD group was the first to give a standing ovation. Zell and Irvine even whistled rather loudly, something that did not go unnoticed by the other clientele.

When the auditorium cleared, he stood alone while the others went across to the reception hall. They let him be, as he took in every small nuance of the building. From the golden curtain ties, to the mahogany wooden carvings, he made a special place in his memories for this building… and for the beauty he had just witnessed taking the stage.

He ran his ungloved fingers over the satin cover that lay over his seat. He too, committed that into his memory. That feeling was as unique as she was, and forever would he associate the silken similarities between the two. Taking in one last breath, he turned toward the exit knowing what he had just witnessed. The end of a miracle. Rinoa would no longer dance, but her commitment kept her there throughout the season, that was her way. A promise. She made them a promise… just as she made him once. But that one, she opted to break.

* * *

The banquet hall was decorated similar to the prior evening, except for the stage that had been added for the President's address. Squall nervously waited for Rinoa. Knowing the time it took her before, he would have a good thirty minutes before she arrived. As the pressure grew too much, he decided to order a drink… something strong.

Selphie and Irvine had found a table in the back, but still close to the dance floor.

"Selph, may I have the honor of this dance." He bowed down, offering his hand to her.

"Yes, you may sir." She graciously accepted his hand and guided him to the dance floor. The two held each other, as other couples danced circles around them. "I love you, Irvine. I just wanted to say that. Circumstances have made me realize how lucky we are."

"Selph, I feel the same way. You're the only woman for me. Love ya' more than anything in this world." The two just continued to dance, content in the presence of one another.


	8. Dusk

-Love disclaimers, disclaimers are my friends. I do not own Final Fantasy or any of the characters. Well, I own a dog that kinda looks like Angelo… close enough for you? Yeah, me either… darn it.

**_Chapter Eight: Dusk _**

Quistis and Zell stood alongside Squall, watching the patrons as they arrived at the reception. They had done their required amount of mingling with the upper throng. Something that none of them enjoyed. They were fighters, not used to these social gatherings like the majority of the other attendees.

Squall froze as he felt a skinny hand on his butt. He didn't have to turn around, and more importantly, _he was afraid_. He knew it was she, Maude McCay, scarier than Ultimecia herself.

"Maude it's so nice to see you again," spoke the SeeD with forged enthusiasm. "I was just so hoping I'd run into you this evening. As I was just telling my friends, Quistis and currently unattached Zell, no event would be complete without a beautiful princess."

"…And an ugly dragon," whispered Zell to the instructor.

Turning her back quickly, the blonde woman hid the fact that she was going to lose it. Squall acted so damn happy, it was the most outlandish event ever witnessed by humankind. She walked behind a stone pillar and almost fell to the ground in hysterics. She felt a masculine hand on the back of her shoulder.

"Quistis?" there appeared to be minor concern in the tone. "Are you all right? Can I get you some water or anything?" Looking over her shoulder, Robert was standing there, next to his cousin. She reached for Rinoa and hugged her tightly, nonetheless out of breath. In between snickers she rasped, "Rin… Squall…Maude McCay... _touching his butt_."

Rinoa started laughing also. "I know Maude, she can really be something. Even though I want nothing further to do with Squall, no man deserves that fate."

Quistis motioned to where they were; Robert led his cousin in that general direction. The instructor regained her equanimity, and like a true professional, went back to the scene of the crime. Well, in a few seconds, after she watched him squirm from afar. Yes, paybacks can be hell.

Zell stood and watched _'_Happy Squall.' He too, was almost frozen in utter fear, as his best friend transformed into the world's happiest guy. Something the rest of Garden would probably consider one of the signs of Armageddon.

"Squall, I really need my bedroom repainted. I think you would be perfect." Mrs. McCay put her scrawny arms around Squall's waist, pulling him closer. "I'm sure someone of your caliber would know his way around a bedroom. I've always wanted to see how well you could use your paintbrush." Giving Squall an extended kiss on the cheek, she left a fire-engine red lipstick imprint on his face.

"_Don't get sick, Leonhart_," he was mentally coaching himself on the 'overly nice' philosophy… that he now concluded… down right sucked. "Maude, I would love to paint your bedroom. But unfortunately, due to Garden regulations, I'm not allowed to accept any outside work."

Zell had to speak up now, as better judgment was no longer working in his favor. "Yes Squall, that's true… unless, you don't take any money for the job. Garden allows you to do community service. I'm sure you would be very good with your… _paintbrush_."

Robert and Rinoa had been listening to the conversation for the last few minutes. Knowing she couldn't laugh, for etiquette was very important to the society of which Maude was a member, Rinoa tried desperately to contain herself. She walked up next to Squall and wrapped her fingers around his arm. She was going to have to get through this, even if it was the last thing she did. And at this point… it just might be.

"Yes, Mrs. McCay, Garden does allow for community service as long as no monetary compensation takes place. But, since Squall is the 'Commander' of Balamb Garden he can't directly involve himself. Regulations restrict him from doing such labor for security and political reasons. However, Zell here is not regulated by any such ineffectual rules. He could paint your room, and believe me… he can paint it much better than this guy." She pointed to Squall, who had a completely bewildered look covering his face.

The young sorceress leaned over to the wanton, trying not to pass out from the odor that resonated off her body… "_Does she know that perfume is not to be used like suntan lotion_?" Rinoa contemplated wordlessly. "Maude, I once had a friend who dated Commander Leonhart over there… It is common knowledge, among the girls at Garden, he isn't very good with his 'paintbrush.' Sad really, what a genuine waste of the male species."

Mrs. McCay turned, looking at the face of a now aghast commander. "Pity, he was such a good kisser." Turning around she grabbed Zell's muscular arm, and the other hand traced its way down to his rear end. "I always have been a sucker for a man in a penguin suit. So you're good with a paintbrush, huh?" Zell looked back, revulsion replaced his normally tranquil exterior.

Smiling brightly, and waving faintly, Rinoa added, "Bye Stud-Man, nice seeing you again." Rinoa broke one of the final barriers, laughing aloud.

Squall turned and wondered, her mood swings were as unpredictable as Seifer's… and that was saying a lot. At last, he looked at the woman using his arm as support. "I don't know whether to be insulted or pleased right now."

"Go for the latter Squall… All I have to say is… now I am even with you for jumping out into space. Trust me, mine was a far worse fate," she said playfully.

He looked into her earthen brown eyes, it was the first good look he had all evening. She was exquisite, just as he vividly remembered. A blue hand-beaded dress with spaghetti straps covered the length of her body, but always emphasizing where her curves should be. Around her neck, she had a set of ivory pearls, and a matching pair of cultured pearl earrings completed the ensemble. Her hair was pulled back in a loose fitting-bun with wispy tendrils hanging down. Her delicate matching shoes accentuated the feet he had noticed only a few days ago. He unconsciously looked down at her chest, "_Damn you Irvine_. _Had I ever really noticed **those** before?_" Such physical thoughts were far from his mind a year ago. Now at this moment he couldn't take his eyes off them…. er… her.

Quistis picked that moment to walk around the corner. She noticed the way Squall was staring at the dark-haired woman. She traced an imaginary line from his eyes to Rinoa's... breast? Squall was actually staring at Rinoa's chest. Shaking her head, the woman attempted to hold the laughter yet again. "Um… huh, Squall?" Quistis watched his expression, which mirrored a child caught with his hand in a cookie jar. Squall almost turned three shades of red.

"Oh, hello Quisty…er Quistis. Rinoa and I were just talking."

"Yes... _talking_," laughed the blonde woman. "Where did Mrs. McCay go, how did you manage to lose her so quickly? Oh… and where is Zell?"

Rinoa spoke up, "They went off, together, to discuss some 'community service' work. Quistis, can you make a mental note? Keep Zell a safe distance from me for a while."

Robert, who had been talking to the couple next to him, turned back towards Rinoa. As he was about to open his mouth to speak, a young attractive young woman ran up to Squall. "Oh my god, you are Squall Leonhart! I have been in love with you for two years. It's great to think the world has heroes like you. Would you care to dance?"

Squall was uncomfortable, this kind of thing happened occasionally. Over the last few years, he tried to be polite. SeeD had a distinguished reputation, and he didn't want that to be tarnished with his typical, cavalier attitude. In a very gentleman-like fashion, he replied, "Right now I'm accompanying Miss Heartilly. If I am free later in the evening, I would love the opportunity to dance with you." The young girl ran back over to her friends, pointing toward Squall. The commander, in all honesty, had not intended to dance with her, but still wanted to let her down politely.

Something almost snapped in Rinoa as she started thinking. "_History always repeats itself, that's what they say. Is this what happened when I left for Caraway's house a year ago? Some eager SeeD cadet ran up to him and threw herself at his feet? Did he even bother saying, _'_not now I'm with Rinoa, but later this evening?_' _Or did he actually have an emotional attachment to her… or was it purely physical?" _

These questions she'd asked before, to herself, over a year ago. On that morning, and every subsequent morning after. With every sunrise, she wondered…with every sunset she questioned. Now with him beside her, she was asking the very questions that drove her to the brink of insanity.

She had to stop this; she had to stop him.

Truth be told, she was already starting to have feelings again. That killed her very soul. "_How long would it be before he runs off with another young girl, one he wouldn't have to help around the rest of his life? One who could see him at their wedding? One who could see him when they made love?_" Rinoa felt herself starting to hyperventilate… she had to get away from him now. Before she fell into a trap, from which she couldn't escape.

"Squall, I'm very busy tonight. Please do me a favor and keep your distance. It really doesn't do me any good to be around SeeDs. Everyone here knows that they were hired to kill Galbadian soldiers. Those militia members have friends and family in attendance this evening, if I'm seen with you that will reflect badly on Caraway. As a citizen of Deling, I have responsibilities toward the government."

Squall stood completely taken aback by Rinoa's change of attitude. "Rinoa, the same government you denounced two years ago? The one you were fighting against for the liberation of Timber?"

"That's the _past_ Squall. Leave it there. Robert please, escort me to my father's table. I'd like a glass of water." She turned toward her cousin and offered her hand.

He stood just as perplexed as Squall. He grabbed Rinoa's hand while giving the commander and Quistis a look of absolute confusion. Yet, he said nothing to either as he guided his cousin to the General's table.

The instructor looked at Squall, "Are you okay?"

"Quistis did that make any sense to you?"

"Well, no. Just give her a while, try talking to her again after the banquet. Now, I would like a very important, muscular, and _extremely_ sexy SeeD to escort me back to our table. Don't make me call Maude over here to feel your tight buns again." Quistis said while wiping the red lipstick off Squall's face.

"Anything but that, Instructor. I'd rather have Irvine feel my butt than that leech," Squall offered his arm out for Quistis to take. Together, they casually started walking back to the table.

* * *

When Squall and Quistis arrived, everyone was sitting down with their drinks. Zell had managed to plan a daring escape from Deling's biggest and most prehistoric, sexual predator. Squall tried frantically not to make eye contact with him, but Zell was obviously not pleased.

"Tell your girlfriend that I so owe her one Squall. Mrs. McCay petrifies me, and I've seen some really, really ugly things."

Squall shook his head vaguely saddened. "Zell, she's not my girlfriend." The commander saw Quistis lean back in her chair out of the corner of his eye. "Just somebody I'm really hoping would like the job."

Quistis smiled at that comment.

The dinner had pretty much gone without incident, except for some crabmeat flying through the air, landing in a woman's hair. Irvine still couldn't look directly at her. They all had ordered several drinks. The exception was Squall, only on his second glass of burgundy wine. He watched Rinoa as much as possible, mingling, smiling, and laughing with all groups of people. "_Boy, she really does have striking legs. Great, mental note: **kill Irvine.**_

Her cousin had been escorting her around all evening. The commander watched the way they interacted with people, the subtle nuances that only he, or those who knew the truth, could notice. Now Robert whispered something in her ear, leaving her standing alone. This was his chance and he knew it. Squall took off the white gloves that covered his hands, and excused himself from the table.

* * *

Rinoa was leaning against a wall, in similar fashion to his positioning on the night of the SeeD graduation. He held his head up high, swallowed his pride, and walked over to her. Thinking he could stir old feelings, he echoed the words of their very first encounter, "You're the best looking girl in here."

Turning her head away from him, Rinoa cynically replied, "I wouldn't know."

Not letting her behavior get to him, Squall took another step closer. "I bet you'll only dance with someone you like."

"Yep, that's not you." Rinoa declared with lack of emotion.

He reached down and gripped her right hand gently. She did not pull away, yet she did not return the gesture. He took another step closer, until they were centimeters apart. Raising her hand to his mouth, he gently kissed it. "You're going to like me… you're going to like me."

Rinoa could feel her whole body going numb, but tried to resist his charm. "_Why did he never act like this before?_" It was not going to influence her. "Nope, still don't like you and you can't dance."

"I'm looking for someone and she's standing right in front of me."

"_Wow_," he thought to himself, "_now I'm starting to sound like Laguna_, _or worse yet, __Irvine._" It sounded like some cheesy line from a singles' pick-up bar. Yet strangely, he meant it. That line at least got her attention. Rinoa turned his direction, and by the look on her face, she probably was thinking that he sounded just as lame.

"Here, let me move… so you can get a better look at whoever 'she' is." It was a simple reply, but it lacked the confidence she had a few moments ago.

He gave a slight pull on her right hand. "I'm right here Rin, trust me."

She gave a small snort, "Trust you?" Somehow, before she knew, he had led her to the dance floor. He continued to hold her right hand, carefully putting his other on her delicate waist. The touch was very tentative at first, as when they had danced before. Squall looked at Rinoa's face; she was simply beautiful. Amazing. He accidentally looked down at her breast again. Eventually he caught his faux pas and took his focus off that part of her body; glad she hadn't seen him hypnotized by her low-cut dress.

After the initial shock, Rinoa started to relax ever so cautiously. They were able to keep the pace with the other dancers. He even spun her away and then gentle pulled her back closer to his chest. "You've been practicing, Squall."

"No, you just can't see me stepping on everyone's feet," replied the man, with a smile on his face that carried over to his voice.

"Squall, if you're wearing your SeeD uniform, why aren't you wearing gloves?"

He laced his fingers around hers tighter, leaning in and whispered in her ear, "Just thought I'd be a rebel tonight. Don't you dare tell Cid." He couldn't tell her the truth. Not yet. In actuality, he wanted to feel her without the material barrier, but he was going to take this in small steps.

Even if his heart was diving in headfirst.

With his last comments, he took the hand that had been on her waist, and slid it affectionately around her back. Each motion pulled them closer together. She didn't fight it anymore. Maybe it was just the feeling of security. She hadn't felt that in over a year, if she had truly ever felt like this… it was incredible. Again, her body was doing things her mind was screaming against. He was so close; Rinoa leaned her head against his muscular chest. He was definitely tense. "_Some things never change,_" she thought. The uniform was very abrasive against her cheek, but Rinoa just didn't care right now. His heartbeat was so rapid, so powerful. "_Have I ever heard another person's heart?_" No, in fact she hadn't even gotten this close to him back in Balamb. They were treading on new territory, and it scared her.

When the song ended, Rinoa realized she had been unconsciously smiling. "_How long have I been smiling? More importantly, did Squall notice my smile?_ _He can't see me like this, he can't know._" Raising her head up to him, Rinoa knew she had to run away, and very quickly. The longer she stayed next to him, the harder it would be to leave. She closed her eyes, holding the tears at bay, she wouldn't cry. She gathered her last breath, one she felt that after, a part of her would die… forever.

"Goodbye Squall. This is how I met you, it's only fitting this is how we part. We had a great year together and I thank you for everything you taught me about life and myself. Even if you refuse to admit it, we have changed. Please, don't forget about the events in our lives… the past makes us who we are. Take the mistakes we made and learn from them, Squall. I _did_ love you. Just want you to know that, but that's the past. All you can ever be to me is the past… a memory. Goodbye."

"Rinoa, it doesn't have to be. Please don't leave me again." His mouth was slightly agape, as he pleaded with his eyes for her to stay. Knowing she couldn't see them physically, but maybe spiritually she could sense it deep within her soul.

Robert came up, grabbing Rinoa by the arm. "It's time to go sit on stage Rin. The President will be out in a few minutes."

She reached both arms out to Squall. With her hands, she felt her way from his chest to his face. Placing her palms on either side of his jaw line. Going on to the tips of her toes, Rinoa reached up and kissed him gently on the lips, "Goodbye, Squall Leonhart. Goodbye."

Robert gave Squall a look. One that Squall had seen all too often from his group of friends. The expression that says '_I'm sorry_… _it must suck to be you_.' Squall just stood alone, amid all the dancing couples. A feeling that also went like the first time they met; only this was a thousand times worse. He had only thought of her as a beautiful girl then, and now he saw her as the beautiful woman he loved. She had broken his heart again. He still could not move, until they had disappeared completely from sight. Just a few moments ago, Rinoa admitted she'd loved him. "_Why now? Do you just stop loving someone one day?_ _Goodbye Rinoa Heartilly, goodbye_."

This time Rinoa did not tell him to leave out of anger, she told him with her heart. He was not welcome in her life anymore.

* * *

The others had watched from the table, it was more like watching a tragic movie than watching their friend get hurt. It had all been such an odd week. They could see that Squall was heading back toward the table. To any other bystander his expression would have been that of indifference. They knew him too well. When he walked up to them, he grabbed his wineglass and drank the entire contents within seconds. "I'm going back to the hotel. I'll be joining you for Garden tomorrow morning." The commander walked away without another word, he didn't need any.

"Sorry sir, but I can't have you leave until the President is done speaking," informed the Galbadian security officer at the door.

"I'm a goddamn SeeD!" Squall yelled, pointing to his dress uniform.

"Yes sir, I can see that. Thank you for pointing out the obvious. However, this gives me even more reason to question your intentions. Neither Galbadia, nor President Mitchell's security detail, hired SeeD at this event. SeeDs are known as mercenaries. Therefore, as of right now, I have no idea if someone hired you. For all I know, you may be paid by the highest bidder to kill the President. Just, please, take a seat until we are given the all clear."

"I could kill you five different ways, and not one person would hear you scream. Not one." Squall spat back at the young soldier before turning around. He didn't want to give Cid anymore trouble with a SeeD conflict against Galbadian citizens. He reluctantly decided to return to the table and order the strongest alcohol possible.

Returning to the rest of his friends, he noticed that Robert had already helped Rinoa onto the stage. Now her cousin was sitting with amongst the group. "Great,_ this _I need," he replied sardonically to the others.

Squall glanced toward the stage. There was a surprising amount of people gathered, some sitting, some moving furniture, and a couple engineers working on the microphone. He reached for another wineglass, the others seemed not to pay mind to his actions. Irvine and Selphie were watching the crowd, Zell was stabbing cheese squares with toothpicks, and Robert and Quistis were heavily involved in a conversation about capital punishment.

"Look Squall, it is Maude McCay going to the microphone. Looks really hot tonight, doesn't she Squall?" Irvine seductively teased as he elbowed Squall at the waist.

Squall just shot Irvine a look, and the cowboy immediately shut up. Mrs. McCay took the microphone and began, "I would like to thank you all for attending tonight's final performance of this season's Deling Ballet. I personally wish to thank all the young, talented performers we had this year. We also would like to give a particular thanks to President Jefferson Mitchell for attending tonight's farewell performance, and for helping revitalize the stability of Galbadia. Here with a special introduction is General Caraway's daughter... Rinoa Heartilly."

Everyone at the table looked up to the platform, save for Squall, who continued to swirl the contents of his almost empty drink glass.

"Oh my god!" interjected Robert. The others, including Squall turned quickly towards him. "They moved the damn podium… I wasn't watching. Those bastards moved the damn podium." Robert shot up, hastily moving toward the stage. When the meaning of what Robert was saying hit Squall, he too followed out of his chair and down the center aisle. Halfway to the podium, both men knew it would be too late.

Squall stopped moving. He knew Robert would be there for her, just as he had been for the last six months. He so dreadfully wanted to help, but knew Rinoa didn't want a single thing from him. Squall turned away, and started walking back. Part of him didn't want to see Rinoa hit the podium. The other part didn't want to see it wasn't_ him_ up there comforting her.

_"Three stairs, railing to the right, fourteen steps, left hand out, grab podium," _The words were playing over in Rinoa's mind. "_Four, five, six…_" She felt herself hit the podium. No, she wasn't walking at a fast speed, but it still made her lose balance. She tried to correct herself, but only managed to get her shoe heel caught in the lining of the elaborate dress. She reached out hoping she could grab the podium, but it was no use. She fell loudly to the floor. A sound like no other she had ever heard, one that would echo for countless hours in her heart.

Humiliated, alone, and staggeringly afraid.

Everyone was quiet, confused as to what had taken place. Robert stopped for a second, after climbing the initial few stairs. Rinoa had not looked up, still sitting on the floor in a now torn dress.

"Squall?" she said in almost a stage whisper.

Robert standing on the side nodded to Quistis, she understood. Standing up to meet the commander as he returned, she moved her hand on to his sleeve. "Go to her Squall, she wants _you._"

He thought about Rinoa's last words to him, but right now that was irrelevant. So he turned and ran back to the stage. He saw Robert still standing there. "_Why has Robert not gone to her yet?_" Squall darted up the stairs and Robert looked directly in his eyes, "She called for you. She needs you."

"_Why_... _had she really called for me?_"

Squall approached Rinoa, literally falling to his knees directly in front of her. He reached out his hands and gently touched her bare shoulders, "Rinoa… I'm here." In return, she said nothing, just leaned in closer and grabbed him around the waist. They stayed on the stage like that for what seemed like forever.

Back at the table, Irvine leaned over to Quistis, "Looks like our little kids have grown up."

Quistis just smiled leaning back in her chair, "No Irvine, they were forced to grow up along time ago. Now they understand that."


	9. Sunset

-I do not own Final Fantasy or any of the characters, still. Amazing isn't it?

**_Chapter Nine: Sunset _**

Squall continued holding Rinoa compassionately in his arms, "Rin, I'm here. Can you stand up?"

Rinoa had not cried, as she wouldn't let that happen publicly. She just let Squall hold her until she had regained her confidence, and then she let him hold her longer. It was for no reason at all, except to feel the security within his arms' grasp. Rinoa finally nodded to him, and he began to slowly stand up. Gradually, cautiously, he helped her to her feet. He tenderly put his arm around her shoulder, in a protective manner, and then started walking off the stage.

"No, Squall. I have to do this." Rinoa looked at his face, not with her eyes, but with her heart. "Take me back."

Still holding her delicate body close, Squall softly whispered in her ear, "Do you want me to stay with you?" Rinoa did not answer with words. She only smiled, and reached her shaking hand to meet his on her shoulder, gently pulling it down and intertwining her fingers with his.

They started walking back, together. Squall regretfully let go of her hand when they reached the podium. As much as he wanted to hold her, he knew she needed to do this on her own. But he also knew her, and she needed someone close. As Rinoa once, a lifetime ago, told him, "I can't fight alone." If she could feel his presence, she could make it through anything. She was strong alone, but together they were invincible. He found a place directly behind her, and let her take a position at the microphone. Before she could say anything, Squall leaned forward and whispered, "I'm right here Rinoa. I'll always be with you."

Each word sent a shiver down her spine. The way he said it, the fact he was saying it, not to mention in front of hundreds of people. Turning back to him, she tilted her head slightly. There was so much she wanted to ask, and wanted to say at that moment. Now was not the time, as the crowd of people began growing louder with every second that passed. So the most she could do is mouth the words, "Thank you, Squall."

That, along with her smile, was all he needed.

General Caraway watched the events unfolding from his table. Earlier today, this is what he wanted. He would have given anything for her to be his pawn. He knew Rinoa was going have to tell the audience the truth. She would be on national television, telling her secret in front of President Mitchell, public officials, and the registered voters of Galbadia. So why did he feel so bad? Because at that moment, he realized Rinoa Heartilly wasn't a political pawn. She was his scared little girl having to tell the world a secret she had tried so hard to conceal.

Rinoa hadn't wanted his pity, and she certainly didn't want Galbadia's. Her only wish was not to be treated different from anyone else. Caraway knew that. At that moment, his role of father became the most important title that he had ever held. If neither his valor nor courage could get him elected to public office, then let it be damned. If there was one time in his life when Julia and he would have agreed on actions, let it be now.

With a newfound resolve, he stood up demanding, "Under the orders of General Caraway all live feeds of this event must stop."

Rinoa turned in the general direction of her father's voice, and held the podium with firm hands. "_What the hell is that man up to?_" her mind screamed. She just wanted to get this nightmare over with.

Squall reached forward and affectionately touched her shoulder, "Give him a chance Rinoa." It came out more an order, than a request. Rinoa inhaled deeply, and closed her eyes. She could smell his cologne, and it somehow put her mind at ease. Gradually, she reopened them and could only smile. It was a natural reaction, smiling had always been something she'd done when she was nervous.

This was a _really_ good time to smile.

General Caraway walked over to President Mitchell, talking to him as onlookers spoke amongst themselves. After a moment's discussion, the President made the order public. He was the President, and his word was carried out, no matter how preposterous it may seem to others. "As a direct order from the Commander of the United Forces of Galbadia, President Jefferson Mitchell, please stop all direct links. As of this moment, all television signals, radio waves, and videotaping or recording devises must stop immediately. If not, you are in direct violation of Galbadian law, and will be treated as such."

Caraway was thankful even though he was positive Rinoa would not be pleased about drawing more attention to her address. As a father he knew that, but in the end, his decision was correct. Moreover, for one time in his life, he felt like a father. It was a proud feeling, one he would never outgrow. He noticed that the President and press alike had turned their attention toward Rinoa, and the uniformed SeeD with her. Looking to the podium, Caraway could see Squall standing beside his daughter. It was the first time he looked on Squall as anything but a paid mercenary.

Before, when they had first met, he would have done anything to keep that man away from his daughter. Hell, he was the kind of person that Caraway would have killed without a second thought. Yet, not now. Now, he saw something in him, which mirrored his own life. A sadness, a hope, and a devotion… only Squall's was not to SeeD, it was to his own daughter. Something that took Caraway too many years to realize, and this man… only one. Maybe there was hope for them. The two soldiers exchanged eye contact, nothing but mutual respect passed between them. Squall gave Caraway a SeeD salute… a gesture Caraway was more pleased with than he could've possibly imagined.

"Rinoa, go ahead when you're ready," Squall softly informed the frightened woman in front of him.

She slowly stood up straight and looked towards the audience. "I would like to thank all of you for the chance to perform again. When I was very young, my mom wanted me to take dance classes. When she first told me, I was very upset. I preferred back then to think of myself as one of the guys, not someone who would prance around on a stage. Together we reached a mutual agreement. I would stay in classes for ten weeks. After that time, if I so decided, I could drop out without any argument on her part. Unfortunately, for me, after the first class I was hooked. Dancing became the highlight of my week. The year I turned five, I was chosen to dance in the Winter Festival. My mother couldn't believe I was going to perform at the Festival on stage, under all the lights. She was so excited for me, and told me it was the second best day of her life. The first being the day I was born. Three weeks later, Julia Heartilly was killed in a car crash. I never performed that year, and I made a vow to never dance in public again. Not without her by my side."

Rinoa halted briefly, and turned her head toward Squall. He reached his right hand to her face and gently moved his bare fingers across her flush cheeks. She smiled back at him. With the comfort of his small gesture, she returned to the still clueless audience. "I… I continued taking private lessons. What I did was for me, nobody else. A decade later, when turmoil was facing the government, I stopped taking classes. It's public knowledge that during the last Sorceress War, I had several disagreements with General Caraway."

Rinoa again paused for a moment and then corrected her own statement, "I had disagreements with... my father. I had taken some time off and stayed with my close friends at Balamb Garden. Circumstances later caused me to return to Galbadia. During the war, I was forced to grow up very fast, and learned quickly of regret. One of the many decisions in my life that I looked back on… was not performing again. I had to keep a promise, knowing in my heart that my mother would be watching from above. I had to perform again… so I did. I made it into the company, dancing to remember and also dancing to forget. What nobody, but a select few knew, is that I was in a car accident six months ago. I almost died. When I regained consciousness two weeks later, I had... I had lost my sight. For the last six months I have been blind."

Everyone in the reception hall started mumbling, whispering, or in general making gasping sounds Squall took a step closer to Rinoa and gently laid the palm of his hand in the small of her back. She needed him to be there, both physically and mentally.

Rinoa took a deep breath and apologized, "Sorry that I hadn't told anyone, especially those closest to me. I just didn't want anybody to look at me differently. Please, I ask of you, don't feel sorry for me. I just want you to see the same person you have all my life. Robert, my cousin, joined the company so he could practice with me. He knew… and he helped. I want to thank you Robert Caraway for all the support you gave me. Everyone knows how stubborn I can be sometimes… thanks for never giving up on me. I would also like to thank my close friends Quistis, Selphie, Irvine, Zell and Squall. For making me understand you just think of me… as Rinoa Heartilly. Thanks every one." She stopped and turned back to Squall. Her smile made the last year seem irrelevant. He reached over to her bare arm, interlocking the shaking limb with his sturdy one.

Quistis and Selphie exchanged glances. Both girls beamed, stood up, and began applauding. Soon everybody in the reception hall was following their lead, including the President and General Caraway. Again, just as at the performance, Irvine and Zell started whistling and hollering. This time nobody cared. President Mitchell made a gesture to one the security guards posted at the entrance, signaling him to open the blocked doorway. Squall continued holding Rinoa's arm until they had left the building.

* * *

The humidity of the evening only seemed to increase since they had gone inside. Walking from the air conditioning, into the vast dampness of night, was a systemic shock to both of them. Yet, they didn't care. In their minds, the evening was almost perfect. At least, it was a relief from a burden that Rinoa had carried for too long. That, in itself, was perfect.

"I can't believe… I did it! It's over, no more hiding," Rinoa cried as she turned, capturing Squall in a forceful hug.

"Doesn't it feel better not to be hiding from people anymore? I'm an expert on that subject you know," he said calmly in her ear, still with arms tightly around her waist.

"It feels great!" Rinoa continued, and then broke the hug. "Squall… I really don't know how to ever thank you. I know now that I still need friends, all of you are so wonderful." She turned her back, not capable of facing him. Even though she couldn't see, she could feel his expressions… and that scared her to death. "Squall friends though… that's it." She took a symbolic step away from her knight. "It will never work out between us… I just can't depend on you or anyone. I would like all of you in my life… but, just as friends."

"Rinoa, I understand. However, now that I found you, I won't allow myself to lose you again."

"Squall you won't. I'll always be here for you... I promise. But our lives have changed, circumstances have changed. I will be here… if you need me, but as a friend, like Quistis or Selphie. I can't offer you my love anymore, but I can offer you my friendship. We are two people… just in different places in our lives." She turned back toward him and offered her hand. "Please accept my friendship, Squall Leonhart."

He took her pale hand. He needed her, if only as a friend right now. He would accept that for the time being. Time, other things in his life had taken time. She was worth the wait, no matter how long.

"Friends Rinoa Heartilly, _always_."

The night air was still incredibly warm. The commander was getting very uncomfortable in his dress uniform. He also figured it would be best to get Rinoa back after the strenuous evening. "Rin, I'm going to get a cab and take you home, away from everyone right now."

"No Squall," she begged taking a step out towards the footway. "Let's walk." She was still holding his bare hand, something she was trying desperately not to get used to feeling. She pulled him on the sidewalk, with almost a little too much force. He slightly lost his balance, much as he had done the first night she dragged him onto the dance floor.

"Down girl," his simple reply.

"Sorry, I just have to get you away from the building quickly."

"What?"

"Um… never mind right now." Just as she finished her statement, a light drizzle started raining down.

"You knew that was going to happen… didn't you?" He raised eyebrow at her, as she continued guiding him down the parkway.

"Yes… I could smell it in the air. Plus, it's going to get a lot worse."

"What? Rinoa, I'm getting you a taxi. I don't want you to get sick."

"No. I _want_ to walk in the rain. Squall, you never played in the rain as a child, did you?" She inquired as they continued walking along the strangely deserted city street.

"Never. Didn't you know you're four times more likely to get sick when you're wet? Being exposed to the elements when it's not a necessity, is just plain reckless," he informed her. It sounded like he was reading right from the SeeD manual… or a medical journal.

"Yes, Commander Sir," she snapped back. "Forget all of the military training, just _feel_ the rain. It's very warm tonight, and there is so much to celebrate. I don't care that I'm getting soaked… I just enjoy the feeling."

"What happens if we get sick tomorrow?"

"Well, you get to stay in bed and eat chicken noodle soup. Then you get to think about all the fun you had the night before, and you don't regret it. Live in the moment Squall, life's too short. I know that now."

Squall observed the night as the soft sprinkle turned to a heavy rain. Hearing Rinoa begin to laugh with the change in precipitation, he silently watched as water fell upon her body. She reached up, taking down her hair from its restraints. Shaking her head, the long hair flowed gently down her back. Looking up toward the darkened sky, she closed her eyes and continued to laugh. She looked so damned beautiful, so free.

The rain was hitting her bare skin, and her shoulders and neck were glistening in the streetlights. The droplets would then run down her chest into her dress. "_Chest again?_" he inwardly cursed himself once more. Squall wondered why he kept coming back to that. She took a step forward and held out her arms, spinning while continuing to laugh and smile, as if joyously dancing in the rain.

"Your dress will be ruined," he managed to say, trying to draw his own attention away from Rinoa's body.

"It's worth it to see the rain, Mr. Leonhart," she chirped. Squall reached out his hand toward her, grabbing her arm in mid twirl.

"Your father is going to kill me… If I don't get you back in safe condition, Miss Heartilly," Squall mischievously said resting his face in her damp hair.

"I can't have that happen now, right?" she answered as their bodies touched. He spun her around a few times in the rain. Finally, she ended up face to face with him. "I swear Mr. Leonhart, I think you were dancing with me… in the rain."

"I don't know how to dance," he solemnly replied.

"Then… neither do I."

* * *

In ten minutes they arrived at Caraway's, absolutely soaked. Instead of wanting to go inside, Rinoa signaled Squall to take her around back. Rinoa sat on a bench next to the house and took off her shoes, necklace, and earrings. She stood up with a sudden urgency, looking mischievously at him...

"Sometimes to be free, one has to do things that don't make sense to anyone else. Like disobeying your father, joining a resistance group, trying to put a bracelet on a sorceress or..."

Squall stood up and yelled, realizing she was heading directly into the pool. "Rinoa, stop, don't move!" Quickly he walked over to her, "don't take another step or you're going to fall in the..."

**"Pool!"** she cried as she reached out and pushed him in the crystal blue water. Squall was caught off guard, falling easily into the calm pool… SeeD dress uniform and all. She was still laughing as he surfaced from under the water.

"Rinoa Heartilly, you know how much trouble you could get in for pushing the Commander of Balamb Garden into a life and death situation?" He was still in shock from being submerged.

"See Squall, now you don't even notice the rain, do you?" She leaned down and held on to the edge of the pool. Then with an almost seductive giggle, she jumped down into the water.

"Okay Rinoa, now _I know_ that dress will be ruined."

"Yes Squall, but who cares!" She swam directly towards his voice. "As I said before, some things are worth the price. Did you know that nobody can beat me in Marco Polo? I'm an expert."

Squall swam over meeting her in the deeper end of the water. "Whatever," he commented jokingly. "You know you're in trouble now."

"Who sweet little innocent me, what ever did I do?" Rinoa replied in the most naive voice she possibly could muster.

"You messed with me," he was laughing as he informed her of the guilt. Then he quickly started splashing her. "Never mess with a trained professional."

"I'll remember that when I meet one!" She yelled splashing him back.

Squall swam as close as physically possible, grabbing her around the waist. He noticed that the pool lights reflected the intricate beadwork of her dress. The reflection mirrored her eyes, which too sparkled like crystals. Each droplet of water ran its own path, ones he only wished to trace with his fingertips. Again, the commander found himself having thoughts that only scared him; it felt as if was losing self-control. He noticed Rinoa facing toward him with a look of slight confusion, as his silence was speaking volumes. "You are in so much trouble little girl. What do you think your father is going to say when I tell him you pushed a poor defenseless SeeD into the big, scary pool?"

Rinoa reached up, resting her arms around his shoulders. "I don't know. Maybe the same thing your friends say when I'll tell them… you tried to push me in first." For a moment, they just treaded water, locked in each other's arms. They were both soaking wet, but neither of them cared. Squall cautiously started swimming toward the shallow end, effortlessly holding Rinoa next to him. Their bodies remained mostly underwater, as now Squall could barely touch the bottom. Rinoa still stayed close, no longer believing the emotions running through her.

Her mind wandered back to the park, and the kiss they shared. It was so deep and meaningful, and she longed to be touched in that manner again. Ever since she felt him give into human passion, she wanted nothing more to experience the same sensation. "_Friends right?_" Then why did she want nothing more than to explore every part of the man who was only centimeters from her soaked body. "_Can you feel how fast my heart is beating? Squall, can you possibly know the sensual thoughts racing through my mind, could you possibly be feeling the same way? God, friends… we are just friends right?_"

Squall noticed the shadowy figures reflecting in the light. "Well Rinoa, that's not what happened and you know it. You pushed an innocent SeeD into the deep water, without warning," said the commander, daring to press his body closer to hers.

"That's my story and I'm sticking to it," she replied lightheartedly, while lifting one eyebrow. Rinoa held on tightly, never wanting this miracle to end. "Who do you think they're going to believe?"

"I don't know, why you don't ask them?" Squall saw all their friends standing on the wooden deck, along with a not-so-stern-looking Caraway.

"Oh crap, they're behind me," mumbled Rinoa, placing her palm to her forehead. She turned around and smiled at all of her friends. "So… um… welcome to the back of my house, anyone else care for an evening swim?"

* * *

When they got out of the pool, everyone was trying to keep a straight face, save for Zell who was openly laughing at the two. Squall didn't exactly look like the proper 'Commander' as his uniform was completely drenched. A soaked mop on his head replaced the usually well-groomed hair he adorned. It was obvious to all that he was having trouble keeping the bangs out of his eyes.

Rinoa, on the other hand, stepped out of the water and looked just as gorgeous as ever. The liquid only highlighted her creamy skin, and the dress seductively clung to her body. Even her dark hair shimmed in the moonlight, which now replaced the rain clouds. Squall knew she could be covered with mud… and still be an angel. "_Rinoa covered in mud…_" He again, was angry at his thoughts, and the path in which they were leading him. Somehow, he used to think of himself above such innuendos. That was much more Irvine's department.

It didn't take long for the maid to return with two large towels. She handed one to each of the offenders, and then left them to be with their friends. The others had been relatively quiet, most still in shock of what they had witnessed.

"Squall you give new meaning to the phrase '_drowned rat_.' Yet, Rinoa you wear that wet look incredibly well. Very sexy," joked Irvine. Squall couldn't have agreed more, but had to go the motions of annoyance, giving his friend a stern glare. The one that clearly meant, "Shut up… now."

Rinoa smiled and tilted her head toward the cowboy, "Thank you very much Irvine, you are so sweet. It's always nice to be in the company of a gentleman."

Zell quickly looked around at everyone standing there, "No Rinoa, General Caraway went back into the house, therefore, no gentlemen here."

"You will have to excuse Zell," explained Quistis sarcastically. "We don't let him out much, for evident reasons. It's been a long night for everyone. We just wanted to let you know how proud we are of you Rinoa. It took a lot of courage not to just walk off the stage. You are stronger than I could be in that situation… we just love you."

"Rin?" asked Selphie sympathetically. "We were all talking on the way back here. The four of us would like to invite you back to Balamb. We're leaving in the morning. This year's junior cadet candidates will be here in a few days, and duty calls. You are such an important part of our family… back then and now. We don't feel complete without you. It's like something is missing… you. So please think about coming home."

More than anything in the world Rinoa wanted to say 'yes,' and scream it at the world. Yet she knew it would be hard around Squall. Hell, it would be downright impossible. That whole 'friends thing' was a lie. She did want him, just not only as a friend. She knew after this evening, the pool, and the rain that her feelings remained as strong as ever. Rinoa was deeply in love with him. And that… would just be too difficult. The memories of him, of that other woman, of all the pain, would haunt her to the end.

Maybe in the future, if Squall was transferred to another Garden she could face her fears. Without him there as a reminder of the hurt, the pain. Damn, she missed her friends. "_What if Squall's girlfriend is still there? What if he's still seeing her now? Then how would she feel about the way he acted toward me tonight… Hell, maybe that girl never knew about me_."

No, she definitely could not go.

"Guys, being around you would be wonderful, but we've all moved on. Quistis is teaching, Selphie and Irvine have each other. Squall has..." She stopped herself from making a terrible mistake, "…his job. Yes, Squall has his job, and Zell has… Well all right, Zell might not be the best example." She was trying to lighten up a little, hiding the sorrow. As she always did.

"Hey Rin," informed Zell in a spiteful tone. "I still owe you one for Maude McCay… Let's not make it two, kay? But we still love ya Rinny."

"I love ya too, Zell. I just can't go back there yet, too many bad memories."

"_Bad memories_?" Quistis thought this a very strange comment for Rinoa to make. As far as she knew, nothing 'bad' had ever happened to her while living at Garden.

Squall also contemplated Rinoa's use of the term 'bad memories.'

"_Was I nothing more to you than a bad memory? If so, did tonight mean nothing? Rinoa… I thought that tonight we… Hell, what was I thinking?_"


	10. Twilight

-Well since last time I wrote: I won the lottery, bought Squaresoft, and then lost them in a tragic corporate takeover. Alas, they are no longer mine… so don't sue.

**_Chapter Ten: Twilight _**

Rinoa could sense the uneasiness in the air, and feeling the need to clarify she offered, "I… um... didn't mean 'bad memories' like that. Please don't take it wrong. Just, you know, before I lost my sight and all. I wouldn't have any use there, I'd just be another burden placed upon you guys. I couldn't stay at Garden and not work. Really, not much I could do around there."

Quistis wasn't sure how to take Rinoa's comment, but as far as her working, she had an idea. "Rin you could always teach. Garden would love to have an instructor in Magical History. Nobody could teach the history of sorceresses better than... a sorceress."

"Thanks, but I can't. My life is here… in Deling City now. I don't exactly know what the future has in store for me. I just know it has to be here."

"_Away from you Squall,_" Rinoa added mentally.

The commander listened to the conversation for the last few minutes, without saying a word.

"_What can I say, please come back because I still love you_?" Maybe, it might be worth a try, but he had just promised to be friends. Plus, the simple fact that he had never told her in the first place, also weighed heavily on his mind. Getting her to trust him again would take a while. Getting her to love him again, may take a lifetime. Maybe by giving Rinoa space and still keeping in contact… just might make her realize his feelings were genuine.

Squall closed his eyes, feeling as alone and confused as ever.

Finally, he spoke up, "Rinoa we're going to be leaving for Garden tomorrow. The train's departing at eight in the morning. Please… if you change your mind, I... _we_ would love to have you come home with us."

Rinoa thought for a moment that the word 'home' seemed to have a completely different meaning these days. "I won't change my mind Squall, but I'd be glad to see my best friends off. Well not see, but I could at least wave to you," she said trying to act cheerfully.

"Great," Irvine replied," Until tomorrow madam." He walked over, brought her fingers to his lips, and gently kissed them.

Rinoa smiled holding Irvine's masculine hand. She then got up on her tiptoes and raised her head towards him. She gave him a small kiss on the cheek, "See Squall, just like old times." Everybody laughed remembering the story that Irvine had told them earlier. This time Squall didn't get mad, he had a genuine smile on his face.

* * *

After her friends headed back to the hotel, Rinoa went upstairs to change out of her wet dress. She dried her hair and changed into a tee shirt and shorts. Walking over to her bed, she recalled the comment Rob had made about the photograph of Squall. Pictures on the wall seemed so irrelevant now, she never thought about such things, but she immediately remembered where that particular photo was hanging. Rinoa went around the side of her bed and ran her hands over the smooth textured walls. She then felt the corkboard and took off the photograph in the upper left-hand corner. It was strange, she never had too many pictures of Squall. He simply wasn't the picture type.

She returned to the bed, and lied down on her back. With the sensitivity her fingers acquired, she could feel the glossy finish of the picture. In her mind, she could see it, plain as anything that ever stood before her. It had been taken six weeks after the defeat of Ultimecia. A party was held for the 'world heroes' at the Estharian Presidential Palace. The picture had been of just the two of them, thanks to Selphie and her quick timing with a camera. Squall had been in his formal dress uniform, just as he had been tonight. Rinoa was in a short black sequin dress. She had been smiling in her usual happy fashion. Squall's lips were slightly parted, but he held his usual non-emotional face.

That was just fine with her.

She did love to see Squall smile, though it had only happened a handful of times. The expression he wore in the picture is how she'd always remember him, much like the first time they met. Rinoa kept a few more photographs of them together. After returning to Deling, she had stored them in the attic, along with all the other pictures from her childhood… memories of the past. This one was kept up to remind her of trusting someone too much. She told herself, at the time, it was a reminder of why not to fall in love again. Now she admitted to herself, it was up because she still loved him. Rinoa didn't want to let go of him completely.

There was an unsure knock at the door, yet she was sure who it was. Quickly she tossed the picture under a pillow. The last thing she needed right now was for him to find out that she still… "Still what?" she whispered to the heavy air. "Come in Squall."

"How did you know it was me?" he answered opening the door.

"I'm blind, not stupid. The maid taps three times, and Rob has the same knock as Zell…'let me in here now.' Caraway doesn't knock. So that leaves you and your '_I better knock, but don't want to sound like I'm overdoing it… but need to make it a manly sounding knock._' Trust me, you failed." He looked at her slightly mystified, before once again stepping outside and shutting the door.

This time, he knocked with more self-assurance before opening the door.

"That was better… you only sounded slightly pathetic this time."

"Rinoa, what are you doing?"

"Sitting here… in my room… and you?"

He ran a hand through his still dampened hair. "You weren't coming to the station to say goodbye tomorrow, were you?"

Rinoa's spirits fell, no matter how hard she tried to raise them. "Squall… you just don't understand. It's not that simple. Life isn't that simple. Goodbyes aren't that simple."

"What Rinoa? What don't I understand… please explain it to me, so I can try. God, I want to try…"

Standing from her bed, she walked over to him guiding him into her room. She gestured to the bed, and he immediately sat down on the edge watching her intently, as she closed the shades and curtains.

"Plants," she mumbled. "If you wondering why I even open them… the plants need light. And that is your biology lesson for the day… now for your reality lesson." She moved in front of him, looking down into the darkness. "Squall, trust me. Close your eyes." He listened to her… every word, every breath. He was surprised that even he could tell her rhythmic breathing pattern had changed.

"Now answer me truthfully Squall… please."

The room was a total void of darkness. The light was switched off, the skies allowed no moonlight to break the material barrier of the curtains, and not one speck of the hallway light streamed under the heavy door.

"When you open your eyes what do you see?" Squall followed her exercise, not sure of what she was expecting from him.

"Darkness."

"Darkness?" It wasn't supposed to sound like a question. She just imagined some more elaborated answer, but the simplicity caught her off guard.

"Why? What am I supposed to see? What do you see?"

"An empty slate, a new beginning, dreams that have yet to come. My life."

"Rinoa… I'm sorry, I just don't see that."

"Of course not Squall, you only see the darkness… because it's what's real. But I see that every minute… I only learned to see other things on faith and hope. Now when I open my eyes… I see the future."

He thought for a moment, closing his eyes once more, just as he allowed himself a second attempt with the knock. This time, it was symbolic more than necessary. He reached one of his hands out, accidentally landing a little too close to her chest. She froze, but was glad when he continued upward to her face. Slowly, he traced his fingers up the nape of her neck, and then over to her jaw line. She had done the same thing earlier at the reception, but now it was his turn. In the dark, he felt her… felt every bump, every imperfection of her skin, every tight muscle in her neck.

"Squall, what are you doing?"

"Ask me again…"

"Ask you what? What you see when you open your eyes?" she hesitated.

"Yes…" He rose to his feet, never repositioning his hands. "Rinoa, I see _you_."

"What?"

"When I close my eyes now, or any time, I only see one thing… you."

This wasn't the right answer. Well okay, it was… but that wasn't the point. He was only supposed to see the nothingness… not make some figurative stand for the first time in his life. He must have sensed her hesitation, her uneasiness.

"Rinoa… please come back."

It was a statement with many implications. The tenderness, the evening, everything leading up to this one moment. His voice was haunting, everything about him was. Maybe he had changed, maybe this time it could be different. His breath was intoxicating; she tried to fight the feelings, the passion. She leaned forward, as he moved a pace closer to her. His hands were still caressing her face, and her own hands gradually moved up returning the gesture. His damp locks, his jaw… everything was so… perfect.

"Rinoa, may I come in a moment?" The voice was immediately recognized as belonging to her father. Both jumped away, acting as if caught in the most embarrassing of situations, as a light flipped on.

"_Damn you for not ever knocking Caraway!_" The commander wanted to shout at the older man.

"Did I catch you at a bad time?" Rinoa pushed Squall away from her, with a surprising amount of force.

"No, it is a perfect time. Squall was just leaving. Right, Squall?"

"Yes, I guess so," he spat as he started walking out. Her mood had again altered the moment her father appeared. She went right back into the defensive, bitter mode. Turning before reaching the exit way, he called back, "Goodbye Rinoa."

"Squall, I'll be there tomorrow… we will say goodbye then."

Closing the door, he rested his head against the frame. Somehow, deep inside, he knew she wouldn't come to say farewell; it would be too hard. Hell, it was hard for him, it always was. Losing someone never gets easier.

He mouthed the hurtful word once again, "Goodbye."

* * *

Caraway was at a loss for words. Never had he expected to walk in on his daughter… and a man. "Guess I should try knocking once and a while."

"You think?"

"Yes, there is that temperament we all love so much."

"Look it's been a hard day. Is there any particular reason you are here?"

He noticed a small glossy corner from under the shadows of the pillow. He flipped on the light nearest her bed, and picked up the picture. His focus turned naturally to his daughter, how happy she looked in the photo, how carefree she used to be. He wasn't good at these relationship issues, he never was.

"Rinoa, I know your friends are leaving tomorrow. I heard them asking you tonight to return to Balamb. As much as I can't believe this is coming out of my mouth, I think you should go with them."

"I can't!" her reaction a mixture of anger and confusion. "It's too hard. I will not be hurt again."

"Hurt? They're your friends, I'm sure none of them would intentionally hurt you." General Caraway traced the outline of the photo with his finger. "Rin, I'm going to tell you something I never told anybody. Not even your mother."

He definitely got Rinoa's attention with that statement. She moved back to the bed, and pulled her knees up to her chest. Caraway walked over and sat next to his daughter.

"When I first joined the military many years ago, all I thought about was advancing in the ranks. Three years into my career, I was assigned to Dollet, stationed there for several years. I met someone very special there… first person I ever truly loved. We had a lot of fun together, spent an entire summer going to the beach. Eventually, I had to make a choice between my military career and her. I should have chosen the latter. But I couldn't… not someone whose parents expected nothing less than perfection from him."

"I sent her a letter, didn't even have enough guts to say goodbye in person. Never look back - that was my motto. I could've gone back to her, even a couple years later. I still loved her… Finally time marched on, she found someone else. I met your mother a year later and we decided to get married. Rinoa, don't ever get me wrong, I did care about your mother…and yes, even grew to love her. However, when we made the decision to marry it was more of a career opportunity for us both. I did love Julia... in time. The fact was… we were never meant to be soul mates. I do believe in true love. I had it once… so did your mother. Our careers, our stubbornness got in the way for both of us. I just don't want to see you married to one of these society snobs around here just because it's convenient."

Rinoa sat listening intently to her father. This was the first time she had heard him talk as an adult to her. Moreover, about anything personal. She slid nearer to him and in the first time she could remember, Rinoa gave her father a hug. "I love you."

He too was returning the embrace and couldn't believe how much he had missed her. That is, if he ever had her to lose. Maybe she would be going away again, but this time he couldn't be happier. "I love you too, Rin." Breaking the hug, Caraway remained holding her arm. "He might have made mistakes. We all do, but he came back to fight for you… that means something."

* * *

The train station was crowded. Weekdays were always busy, especially in the heart of the business district: men with briefcases, women with cell phones, and everyone in a hurry. One would be lucky just to find a place to sit with a cup of coffee. The train to Balamb would be leaving in a few minutes and the group remained on the platform, each trying to spot Rinoa through the overwhelming crowd.

"She'll be here Squall," Irvine tried to comfort his friend. "You know Rin, probably had to make sure her hair was perfect before she'd show her face in public." Squall continued to stare out into the mass of people, in an unfounded hope she would have the courage to show.

"Maybe it was just too hard for her," explained Selphie trying to remain bouncy. "Saying goodbye isn't easy. For Rinoa, maybe _goodbye_ was too hard to face right now."

"I'll be expecting a note in the mail," snapped Squall. "I thought she would change after… damn it, it's been a year."

"Squall," Quistis chimed in, "Rinoa is our friend. She just went through something very difficult last night. Be patient, have faith in her… she won't let you leave without saying goodbye." She noticed a slight eye roll from Squall, another show of emotion usually foreign to the commander.

Zell was the first to notice a figure running through the crowd. "Hey guys, isn't that Robert coming this way?"

The dark-haired man was trying to make it through the passengers arriving from the last train. He ended up doing a little more pushing and shoving than expected, but finally made it to the anxious group. "I'm so glad I made it to this platform in time," Robert huffed out-of-breath. "Rinoa couldn't make it this morning. I wanted to come down here and thank everyone personally. Rin's never done well with goodbyes."

Squall just shook his head and turned around, "Whatever." He started walking toward the train. Part of him wanted to get on and leave this city behind and everyone in it. Still, he wanted to know that she would be okay, no matter how angry he was at the moment. Rinoa was all that was important.

As an afterthought, the commanding SeeD turned back to Robert. "Please take care of her. She's still one of my friends and no matter what, will always be. Don't let anyone hurt her." Robert acknowledged Squall's request with a slight nod. The commander couldn't be around the others anymore. "_Last night meant nothing to you. I was right. Why now? Why again? Your mind games are so tiring. If this is how you want it, Rinoa Heartilly, so be it. Goodbye and good riddance._"

* * *

The others said goodbye to Robert and wished him well, save for Quistis. They left the two as they talked quietly among the noisy station. Finally, the instructor boarded the train meeting up with Squall and the others. The group stood outside the SeeD luxury cabin, waving to Robert as the train pulled off.

"Open up the door, Squall," cried Selphie.

"Hurry man, before she makes us sing a stirring rendition of '_Train, Train, Take Us Away_," exclaimed Zell.

Squall searched his jacket pocket for the key. Damn must have left it at the hotel. "_Can this morning get any worse?_"

There was a very audible scream echoing through the car. "Hurry Squall, I gotta pee very badly. I don't think that those last five cups of coffee agreed with me."

"So you wouldn't want me to do this, would you?" Squall heard the sound of Irvine's fist making contact with Zell's bladder.

"Squall… hurry!"

"_It was a rhetorical question_," Squall angrily shot back to himself. Now they would be forced to sit on the floor of this uncomfortable car for the trip back to Balamb, seven hours on the floor, what a goddamn day. Babysitting Zell and Irvine… "I can't find it guys, sorry."

Quistis spoke up quickly, "Here, I carry a spare. I can get us in the SeeD compartment."

Well at least that wouldn't be quite as bad. "_How come I never knew Quistis carried a spare? And why did she never bother to unlock the car?_" So many times, she could have saved him from Selphie's downright-scary happiness. "_Great, how will I explain to Cid that I lost a SeeD train card key?_" It wasn't like him to misplace things, especially something that important. As they entered the hall to the SeeD compartment, Quistis grabbed Squall's arm and walked him forward to the door.

"Technically, Squall," explained Quistis, "since you are the highest ranking SeeD here, you need to open the door. It would be against regulations for a superior not in command to open said door. The SeeD manual strictly prohibits me from doing so with my pass code, unless you are incapacitated and/or found mentally incapable. Now, if we weren't on Garden property, or the train car, I wouldn't care. But, I certainly do not need to have my SeeD ranking go down because I performed a prohibited action."

"Shit man," interjected Zell, "I need a copy of that damn book… right now! It's not possible to actually be a negative ranking SeeD, is it?"

Quistis just shot Zell a look, one of those 'shut up Mr. Know-it-all things' that Zell had grown quite accustomed to over the last couple of years. Squall grabbed the stupid key out of Quistis' hands.

"This is god damned stupid…" low mutters were heard. Nobody dared ask for clarification. He slid the card in the slot and entered his code. "Happy now, Instructor Uptight?" he spat back at her. "Did I slide the card per regulation, or should I refer to the manual under the heading 'who the hell cares'? Whatever to this shit..." He heard the lock click on the door and furiously pushed it open.

"_Yep, same old damn room, same old damn couch, same old damn Angelo… Angelo?" _

* * *

The canine looked at the commander with her head slightly tilted and ears standing up on end. Angelo seeming to have some sort of recollection of him, jumped down and sauntered over. Squall just stared as the dog grew closer, not exactly sure what to think. Lost in a time when this was very commonplace.

"Angelo's still a little tired," a soft voice said. "Just came in by train from Dollet, it was a very long night… for both of us."

Squall quickly snapped his head around to the voice. "Rinoa?" he exclaimed letting his emotion get the best of him. She sat over on the bed wearing Jean shorts and red tee shirt. Her hair was pulled back into a long ponytail; much like when he first went to her house a few days ago. "What… what are you? How did you? Garden?"

"Easy for you to say," retorted Quistis. "But I guess it's a step up from the classic '_whatever_.' Oh by the way, here is your keycard back. You accidentally 'lost it' when you fell asleep last night. Moreover, I do not have now, or never had for that matter, a keycard to this cabin. Don't you think that I would have loved to avoid a few rounds of the train song too?" She looked to Selphie who was smiling brightly. "No offence, Selph."

"None taken," she replied to the blonde.

Rinoa sat on the lower twin bed as Angelo jumped up lying protectively next to her. "To answer your questions Squall, or what I could make of them: I'm going with you, Quistis, and yes." She giggled for a second, "Guys, please why don't you sit down? The train is moving. It's pretty obvious, even to me, I'm not getting off."

Quistis, Zell, and Irvine walked over to the couch and sat down, while Selphie felt just as comfortable plopping herself down on the floor by Irvine's legs. Squall stood for a moment, not knowing where to sit. Quistis just gave him the instructor/sister look, nodding obviously next to the dark-haired girl. Taking the cue, he walked over to the bed and sat next to Rinoa.

Tapping her knee once, Angelo jumped down from the bed, lying next to her feet. Squall couldn't believe how much he had even missed that stupid mutt. He really wasn't a dog person, but Angelo was such a part of Rinoa he couldn't help but care for the darn dog. Now he couldn't even resist trying to pet Angelo, but surprisingly the canine growled.

Rinoa looked down at her furry companion, "Angelo, okay. Sorry Squall, Angelo thinks she is working. When she's used as a guide dog, her only job is to protect me. I just have to give her the command to know its fine to relax. Try again, please Squall."

Eyeing the dog curiously for a moment, Squall reached down and gave her a tiny scratch between the ears. Enjoying the newfound attention, Angelo rolled over so she could get an all over belly-rub. "See, Angelo still loves... likes you too, Squall. She just needed to be told she's off duty. Kind of like you, Commander Leonhart."

"So you're implying that I need to be told when I'm off duty?" Squall inquired.

"Well, you certainly used to. Separating work from your private life was never your strong suit."

Squall looked over at her, there was hurt in her eyes. Even he could see that. Maybe he hadn't been there; maybe he just didn't know how to be there... However, he swore this time would be different. "So Rinoa, if I'm off duty, can I roll over on my back and you give me a belly-rub too?"

"Squall!" Rinoa yelled in shock. She still managed to elbow him in the stomach, with perfect aim.

Irvine piped up, "He stole my line, _really_, and I was going to say that!"

Everyone in the compartment was now laughing. It was so uncharacteristic for Squall to make such a comment. They knew he would only ever say that to Rinoa. Not for the fact that he didn't have a sardonic humor, which was evident only once in a great while, but because in fact, it was true. Yet, nobody in the room was going to mention that.

"I got Angelo back a few hours ago from Dollet," continued Rinoa, "the trainers will be at Garden next week to work with us some more. I received a crash course last night, or was it early this morning? Everything has been this big blur… I guess I have no clue."

"It was morning Rin," Quistis interrupted, "about five this morning when I picked you up to meet Angelo."

Selphie looked suspiciously at Quistis, "So _you_ brought her here? You knew that whole time we were out on the platform searching for her?"

"Um… well… er, "Quistis just tried to smile. "Well yeah, I received a phone call from Rinoa last night around one o'clock, said she changed her mind about coming. She made me swear not to tell anyone. So, I kept my promise and didn't say a damn word. Actually, it surprised me when Robert showed up this morning. What you guys didn't see was he passed me the key. During the confusion this morning, I had left it in the train car. He waited until the last moment to give it back."

Zell scratched his head, "Okay…now…wait. Let me see if I got this right, Squall didn't really have to open the cabin door. You just wanted him to be the one to see Rinoa first. So, you really weren't issued a keycard either… you just had Squall's?"

"Yes," stated Quistis. "I was supposed to put it back in his jacket before he noticed; only I didn't get a chance. So I made up some ridiculous story about superiors opening doors, I guess Squall was mad enough he didn't even question the fake rule."

"I wasn't mad." Squall said matter-of-factly.

"Oh really Mr. Whatever," exclaimed Selphie, "I think your exact words were, 'I'll expect a letter in the mail.' Trust me… you weren't a very happy camper, Commander."


	11. Evening

-Welcome to happy disclaimerland. Disclaimers are the best thing since sliced bread. I don't (hold your hats) own Final Fantasy (really) or any of the characters. They (surprise) belong to Square.

**_Chapter Eleven: Evening _**

The rhythmic motions of the morning train seemed like gentle waves upon an ocean shore. Such peace and tranquility is rare to find in manmade objects, yet the train seemed magical. All knew it wasn't truly the machine, but the people contained within it.

"Squall," Rinoa reached over to reassure him that she was actually there. Attempting to grab his shoulder, she missed and landed her hand on his leg. For a second, neither spoke. Somehow, each was afraid at the moment that the feeling would end… She wanted to pull her hand away, but right now, she felt like someone put super-glue on her palm. She decided to leave it there, hopefully not to draw attention to her small inaccuracy. "_When did his leg get so muscular? When did I actually ever feel his legs like this?_" She looked to him, "You will never believe who made me change my mind." Nobody dared to speak. "My father."

"General Caraway?" asked Zell.

"Yes, he made me realize what wonderful friends I have. People who I can... learn to trust again. People who will not treat me different than they did before."

* * *

The rest of the train trip was uneventful. Just a lot of reminiscing about old times, talking about ballet, and of course the ever-plentiful 'Irvine in tights jokes.' Somehow, the conversation always remained lighthearted and nobody ventured into uncharted territories. Squall and Rinoa sat next to each other the entire trip, neither moving closer, nor further apart. She eventually moved her hand away, and Squall felt like he lost a small part of him when she removed it.

When the train arrived at Balamb Station, the group decided to rent a car for the return Garden. Nobody was in the mood to fight monsters; they wanted to stay on their mini-holiday as long as possible. Squall was driving, sitting next to him Rinoa, followed by Quistis. In the rear seat, Selphie sat in between Irvine and Zell playing referee… and Angelo was definitely the line judge. If one of the men invaded the canine's space, he was quickly snipped at. The instructor found much humor in the new guard dog.

Halfway home an argument between Irvine and Zell broke out, about who between them was the most_ 'manly'_. The conversation ended abruptly when Squall slammed on the brakes, pulled over, and Quistis literally kicked the two men out of the car.

"But… Squall," pleaded the martial artist.

"No, buts. It will do you two some good to spend some quality time with each other."

"Yeah," mumbled Irvine. "I'll remember this next Commander's Day."

Quistis looked out the window with a blank stare. "Irvine there is no such thing as Commander's Day."

"Well yah, but Zell and I were going to propose it as a national holiday. Now we will just stick with National Abyss-Worm Day to honor him. So if the worm sees his shadow, it's six more weeks of Squall."

"That hurts," the commander sarcastically replied. Soon after finishing, he stepped on the gas pedal.

"They don't change, do they?" Rinoa started laughing again. It felt so wonderful to be a part of this again. Whatever _this _was.

"No," answered Quistis as she watched their images shrinking in the passenger side mirror. "You would think that all of us would have grown a little in the last couple of years."

Squall remained silent, but slowly, unsurely lowered his hand down to Rinoa's leg. It was much in the same fashion as she had done on the train, although hers had been entirely accidental. She turned her head toward him, but said nothing. The countryside passed by, but Rinoa never saw it. She only saw what was in her heart.

Selphie leaned against the window, starting to close her eyes. "Did I ever tell you guys that I'm not a morning person? It takes everything I have just to get out bed… who decided to make these trains run so early? What intelligent person made up that schedule?"

Shaking her head the instructor added, "Selphie, eight o'clock isn't that early for a train. I remember plenty of times taking the 4:00am train… that just really ruins your entire day."

"Stop!" Rinoa yelled. Squall almost panicked at her tone.

He stopped the car pulling off to the side of the road. "Rinoa, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I… I just started feeling claustrophobic all of sudden." She pushed Squall's hand off her bare leg, "Quistis, can you get out a minute? I would prefer to sit in back… where there is more room."

"Sure honey, hang on." Quistis and Squall exchanged looks in utter confusion. The younger girl's mood swing almost seemed violent. Nevertheless, the instructor didn't argue, and opened the door for Rinoa. Yet Quistis felt there was something deeper here, something that none of them were seeing. Demons that only Rinoa was fighting… until she let her friends help. Right now, the best they could do, was just be there.

* * *

Arriving back at Garden was a little less stressful than Rinoa anticipated. Squall walked on her right side, while Quistis on her left. Angelo carefully walked in front, staying clear of obstacles that might materialize along the way. Selphie continued a few steps behind the others, carefully scanning the horizon for Ellone… in case she showed up early.

Headmaster Cid was standing in front of the library, motioning Selphie over to him. Breaking from the group, she walked toward her adoptive father.

"Ellone took the early train, she's waiting in your room," informed Cid. "I received the impression that her coming was to be kept under secrecy… at least for the moment. I issued a temporary pass card to your room, hope that is all right with you?"

"That's perfect. I just have to go and get Quistis away from Rinoa and Squall. I guess those two will just be forced to spend a little time together. I feel so darn bad for that." Selphie couldn't help hide the sarcasm in her voice.

Looking over to their backs, Cid watched as Squall and Quistis helped the other girl along. "She decided to come back with you. I'm glad. How… how is she doing?"

"Well… honestly headmaster, she has her moments. She'll be perfectly charming one minute, then basically something gets to her."

A concerned look took over his face. "Not sorceress related, is it?"

"No," she hesitated talking too much to the man. "I'm guessing it is personal. Maybe her reason for leaving in the first place… there's something hurting her. I only hope we can help."

"Me too," he answered pushing his glasses up to the bridge of his nose. "Selphie, do whatever it takes to get this resolved. There is so much more riding here than one person. I would almost venture to say it's the future of the entire Garden."

* * *

Selphie managed to get Quistis away, faking some emergency with the budget on the Garden Festival. Squall didn't exactly buy the excuse, but personally, he was glad the others were leaving.

"Rinoa, can I show you something?"

She laughed at the ironic statement. "Sure Squall… what?"

"Follow me." He grabbed her hand, interlocking their fingers. She was aware that they entered the lift, and could feel the fluid motion of the motors.

"You're taking me up to the classrooms? You're so adventurous Leonhart."

When the elevator stopped, he led her into a large room. She could hear the sound of her heels meeting the marbled floor. "The ballroom Squall? You wanted to show me this?"

He didn't' answer, but only led her to the balcony. She could feel the vacuum from the doors when he opened them, and the humid air mix with the indoor climate. She almost grew angry. "What could you possibly want me to see up here?"

"Everything," he answered quietly. "From the trees to the birds, the sky to the edges of the horizon… everything."

"Who are you?" The tone was slightly irritated.

"What?"

"What have you done to the man I knew a year ago?"

Turning his back toward her, he closed his eyes. "_I don't know_," he thought to himself. "_Everything I always was or wanted to be… it meant nothing after you left. God, what am I saying_?" So instead, he opted for the most logical statement in his mind, the answer he wanted all along. "Why Rinoa, why did you leave?"

She almost choked on her own bile. "Why? Why did _**I **_leave? Squall, maybe I never left, maybe you were already gone."

"What? How can you say that? I wasn't the one who left you a note one day!"

Her words began to be filled with anger. "What was I to you a year ago?"

"Rinoa you were my friend… someone I trusted."

"Trust, funny how it always comes back to that isn't it? I was your good friend… what was I supposed to do, wait around for you one day to acknowledge me as more than your good friend? I was the same to you as Irvine, Zell, Quistis or Selphie! The only difference is you might have made three pathetic little attempts to kiss me!"

"Pathetic? You seem to use that word a lot when you talk about me. Oh, and by the way, it was four attempts… don't forget the park a few days ago."

"I'd like to forget!" she screamed. That was the furthest from the truth, as those feelings kept her going the last few days. Hell, those feelings are what led her here to Garden. "What was I thinking coming back here? God, get me on the first train to Timber in the morning. This is exactly why I shouldn't listen to Caraway, him and his wonderful ideas. You would think I'd learn by now… but no, you're all the same."

"Who… who is the same?"

"Men… and being lying, pathetic, cheating bastards!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Take me to my room… _**now**_."

"We're not done he…"

"I said take me back now." Her eyes glazed over, as he had never seen them do, in a combination of hate and anger. One he could have never imagined her capable of. Something had hurt her, something that she may never be able to face.

"Whatever, _princess_." He grabbed her wrist, not holding too hard, but not being gentle either. He led her back through the corridors as others watched the commander's actions. Finally, he opened up a guest room, as she felt her way through the doorframe.

"Don't you ever, ever call me _princess_." Saying nothing more to him, as she slammed the door in his face.

* * *

The two women had gone back to Selphie's dorm room, explaining most of the situation to Ellone. Quistis carefully left out the part pertaining to the fact that she already knew the outcome of the visit. She had just decided to give Ellone the exact date of the accident, and let her abilities take over from there.

Selphie went to go check on the two, and was surprised to see them apart. Rinoa mentioned she'd been up all night, and napping was the only thing on her mind. Squall didn't answer the door, but he too mentioned his lack of sleep the previous night in the poetic words, "Selphie, I'm sleeping… tell everyone to stay the hell away."

All three of the girls found that the perfect opportunity to send Squall back to the past. Something was going on, something deeper… all could see that. And all wanted a better outcome than a year ago.

* * *

Light, it was so light.

"_Who in the world can actually sleep during the daylight hours_?" Squall tossed and turned on his bed, unfortunately almost all his thoughts returned to only one subject, Rinoa. The girl he spent so much trying to get over was literally just down the hall from him now. "_Why? Why, did she come back? Was it to me, or was it really just as friends as we promised the night before? What was up with her behavior, and why did she despise men all of a sudden… pathetic, cheating, bastards… that just doesn't sound like her words._"

It was too complicated for him to figure out. "_How can she say that about men? Has she ever tried understanding women?_" he almost chuckled to himself. All he knew was she was here, it was a second chance for them both. The anger was only temporary; it would subside.

As he closed his eyes to try to sleep, a sharp pain emanated from the base of his neck. He knew this pain; he knew it well. "_Ellone_? _Damn it, Ellone?_" It gradually traced his spinal cord up to his frontal temple. The sting was unbearable, just as it had been before. He tried to open his eyes and only found a surreal darkness enveloping him. The pain subsided, and then he tried to open his eyes once more.

"_A party_? _Why am I at a party?_" It was a living room decorated with hearts and cupids, and fragrant roses filled the air.

A man with dark hair stood over to the side of the lively room, two blond male companions at his side. He took a sip of his… Squall could tell it was definitely something strong. The commander watched from his ghostlike state as the three men eyed almost every woman at the party. Finally the dark headed man spoke up, "She said she would be here tonight. I don't think the little princess would lie. She wouldn't stand up her dear society friends," he said with a sharp tongue.

"Mike," spoke one of the others. "You really think you should do this? She is Caraway's daughter, and I think she is somewhat nice. Can't you just find someone else for tonight?"

"Look," rejoined Mike. "It's a holiday, and I'd hate to think of her being alone. Plus, she was worth the most in the wager… fifty points. You guys would have to get three girls for that. Ever since she got back here, well she just hasn't been the same. It seems spending a little time with SeeDs turned her into... well just damn boring. She hasn't smiled once, I just want to show her a 'good' time tonight. So consider this a community service also."

"Mike, I know. I heard rumors that her ex-boyfriend was a real idiot. He cheated on her, throwing her out after he got what he wanted. I think she really cared for the guy. I just don't want her hurt again."

"_Seifer_?" the commander disparately tried to think back. "_I thought her and he never…_"

"I know that's she has been hurt. That's why I have to make my move tonight. I personally could care less about the little bitch, but if I play my cards right, she could be a great political move for me. If I ever want to succeed with the Galbadian Army, I'd need the support of someone important like Caraway. So tonight, his darling daughter will be mine. See, even I can be the greatest actor if the moment calls for it. Tonight, I will win an award for my performance." Mike snickered to himself, "Yes, the _princess_ is the way to power."

Squall tried to figure out what these men were talking about, "_Is it Seifer that cheated on her before, or was there really someone else in the letter? Could she really have cared for someone else? Who could, or would have cheated on such a trusting, beautiful person like Rinoa?_"

The thought made him nauseous at the possibilities. Then the realization hit him, "_Why am I here? Did Ellone want me to see these three immature brats talking about Rinoa like a monster to defeat? Rinoa wouldn't fall for such an idiot would she? Never. She would never…_" Something snapped in him… "_Princess, I called her 'princess' today, Rinoa freaked. This guy Mike… kept calling her the same._"

He could barely stand up; the dizziness was taking over all of his senses.

The next thing Squall saw was Rinoa standing alone on a balcony. She was looking over the bright lights of Deling City. From her movements she acted as if she could still see. She held a rose in her right hand, and ran the petals through her fingers. After a moment, she said something quietly and threw the flower into the pond below. Watching as the rose gently landed, it caused small ripples to break the even stillness of the water. Squall watched as a man walked on the balcony from the party. It was Mike. Squall wished he could have reached out and choked the guy, "_Rinoa will see right through this creep, God Rin you have to._"

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize anybody else was out here," Mike said with bashfulness in his voice.

Rinoa turned to the man standing in front of her. He was tall and good-looking, if you liked that type, but she only had one type. His blue-green eyes caught her attention. They reminded her of someone else, on another night. She finally shook her head out of the memory and replied, "Oh, it is okay. I was just going back in."

Mike walked up to the balcony railing giving her a genuine smile. "Please don't. It would really be lonely here without you. I just couldn't stand being by myself on such a beautiful night like tonight; you look like a princess under the moonlight."

"Wouldn't like being by yourself," Rinoa snickered. "I guess that is some thing I never thought I'd hear from a man."

"What? How could anybody want to be away from somebody as... well… um stunning as you? I shouldn't have said that." He turned to leave. "I guess I'll go back inside now."

"No wait," Rinoa grabbed his arm. "Stay. I don't want to be alone on a night like tonight either, and never in my wildest dreams… am I a princess."

Squall was pissed. He found himself wanting to yell at her, although he knew it wouldn't help. He prayed that she would soon see through this guy, although the hurt in her voice made him know whom she was talking about… _him_. He always told her he wanted to be left alone. "_Why wouldn't Rinoa want to hear something different from a man?_"

Reluctantly, the commander turned his mind back to the scene.

"…Anyway that is how I joined the army at fifteen. My parents were lost in a car crash, and until I was ten, an uncle raised me," Mike spoke sympathetically to Rinoa.

"I lost my mother when I was five to a car crash also. My father wasn't the same after the accident. Caraway distanced himself from anything that reminded him of her."

"Rinoa, I don't think he was doing that on purpose. Sometimes people are just scared of losing someone they love. People react in all different ways. For along time I was a loner. Then I realized… my whole life was ahead of me. I had to take chances."

"What is life without chances," she echoed the sentiment.

"Right, what fun is life if seen from the sidelines? I was young and immature back then. I had to grow up, and never have I looked back on who I was."

In her mind, Rinoa was hearing everything she had always wanted. It wasn't from the person she wanted, but this guy was here and before she knew it, they were kissing on the balcony. In her mind, she wasn't with Mike… she was with Squall. Every touch of her body, every sensation… it was only Squall. Then something snapped in her mind. "_If Squall could do this to me, why the hell can't I do it back? We're not together anymore, he moved on to someone else's bed, why shouldn't I?_"

This was going to make him sick. Watching the person he loved more than the whole world being taken in by this guy. He closed his eyes and silently asked Ellone to take him back. Then his cries became more frantic, they were no longer silent, but full-blown screams. This was certainly not helping anything in his life right now.

Unfortunately, when he opened his eyes, his entire life would forever be changed.

It was a bedroom. There was noise below, the vibrations from the speaker bass shook the foundation. Everything in the room was dark, except for the bed. There lay Rinoa and Mike kissing naked, together. "_How? How in the hell did this happen?_" He could see Rinoa as Mike lay on top of her, she was crying. This certainly was not what he would have thought. The picture made him so angry, and Squall yelled out her name as loudly as he could.

Rinoa jerked her head, "Squall?"

Mike looked down at her, "I don't care what you call me."

Rinoa looked at Mike and pushed him off her as fast as she could. "I can't… I can't do this." The tears streaming down her face. She jumped up from the bed, trying feverishly to gather her belongings. He just stared at Mike. He hated him, and no matter what happened his entire life, Squall Leonhart had never felt hate, until now.

"_Wait, did Rinoa hear me? She called out my name when I yelled. Could she really hear me?_"

* * *

The scene faded to black, the next thing Squall saw was Rinoa getting in her car. Mike was running out of the party calling her names. He noticed the dramatic tears, each one causing him to die a little more. She revved the engine, never looking back to the crowd gathered outside the house.

Rinoa pulled out of the driveway with such force, small pebbles rained down upon the earth as hail. He could hear the stereo in the car; the song was loud and only reflected her disposition. The music irritated her, so she reached down to turn the radio down. All of a sudden, she yelled, "I'm so damned sorry." Not to anyone particular, more to the wind, more to herself. She felt so cheap and dirty at that moment, but most of all… hurt. Another slower song came on the radio. She just wanted silence… she wanted the nothingness she felt in her soul. Rinoa reached down to turn the radio off and when she looked up...

She saw darkness.

Heard the sound of twisting metal.

And for one moment, made peace with the inevitable.

Squall watched as a spectator, he wished to God he wasn't there; the moment was too much for any one person to witness. He felt himself getting sick, he wanted to die next to her. Holding on to her, never letting go. The thought of an accident had been too much before. Now, to witness the wreckage, was excruciating.

The blood, he noticed the blood first. Blood never bothered him during battle… now it was draining the existence from his life. With every drop that fell onto the pavement, he felt part of him slip away. He closed his eyes and wished for the darkness in front of him to end.

* * *

Hospital? He was in the hospital. Although, unlike the other times, he could hear her thoughts. Why? Why now?

"_The lights are so intense_."

She tried to remember exactly what was happening… _voices_, many voices. She could feel the vehicle's motion with every breath. Why was it so hard to breathe? They were touching her, poking needles into God knows what. She could feel the pressure, but the pain did not register.

Outside, now she was outside, in the frigid night air being wheeled into a building. They seemed to be yelling, in an alarming tone. Who were they? Now she came to an abrupt stop. They were still putting things on her; she just wanted them to stop.

"_Female approximately twenty years in age… car accident, head trauma and internal bleeding_." A female voice cried out.

"_That's it, I remember portions of the accident. The truck had not seen me… the driver, was the driver all right?_" Rinoa opened her eyes, looking at the ceiling. It was white tile with intense lights recessed in a pattern.

She tried to speak. No words came, only the voice within her mind.

"_The driver I have to know if he's all right. I'm so exhausted... I will just close my eyes for a moment. The pain, will the pain go away?_" Then she heard the alarms of the monitors sounding. "_Stop touching me!_" Her cries were unheard to all around. A sudden darkness overtook her…

"_I will just close my eyes a second... just a second, and then I'll see what's going on._" Her eyelids fell heavy… before something made her open them for one last time. "_Squall, what are you doing here?_"


	12. Nightfall

-Wow, the new and improved disclaimer… guaranteed to disclaim twenty percent more than other disclaimers! Accept no substitutes! Final Fantasy, Squaresoft, Microsoft, and Boeing Corporation are not mine, nor will they ever be, except by some freak act of the universe.

**_Chapter Twelve: Nightfall _**

Squall's transparent figure stood entranced in the emergency room. The doctors and medical technicians swarmed like locusts around her. The dark knight couldn't hide the tears in the corners of his eyes. He raced forward, reaching down to her blood-covered body. The doctors literally walked through his ghostly figure; he watched every gasp, every movement as she clung to life.

Squall reached down and touched her hand, "Rinoa, I'm here. I won't ever leave you again." To his surprise, Rinoa opened her eyes and looked at him, directly at him.

She could see him.

"Squall," Rinoa wheezed, "don't leave me... I'm scared." She feebly smiled at him; it was only a small indication of life. He knew that it was taking every muscle in her body, a simple gesture that used to be so common. As quickly as the smile appeared… it vanished, just to be replaced by a small struggle for breath and the sight of blood trickling from her lips.

The alarms started sounding everywhere. He felt that he was in the middle of a battlefield. In a way it was, for here she was fighting between life and death. He tried to convince himself she would survive. Hell, he knew she did, but that didn't negate any of the pain. As the doctors and nurses started cracking her ribs, Squall could no longer watch the horrifying sight. He fell to his knees and began crying as he thought he never could. It far surpassed anything that happened during time-compression. This terror was far more merciless… watching someone he loved… lost between two planes.

"Squall, why are you crying?" Rinoa's mouse-like voice wandered into his head.

He lifted his eyes, and checked his surroundings. It was a scarcely decorated hospital room. There were monitors hooked-up to her lifeless body and a sleeping nurse lay in a chair next to the bed.

"Rinoa, where are you? How… how can you see me?" Squall stood from his position on the floor.

A translucent figure of his angel stood in front of him, while her physical body still lay in the bed. "Because you want me to see you, silly. Although I'm kind of surprised you want me to see you like this."

"_I don't_... I don't want you to see me like this… How can you, if you're over in the bed?"

Rinoa laughed, "That is so typically 'Squall' of you, thinking in only physical terms. We have more than that… we are connected on a level that is spiritual, not just physical."

"So are you here or back at Garden? Did Ellone send you back too?"

"No, I'm here resting in bed. In layman's terms, my spirit just woke up to talk to you. I also saw you in the emergency room. You were there for me… thank you."

"I wasn't." He couldn't look her apparition in the eyes; he collapsed his face into his hands, trying to retain what little calm he had left. "Rinoa… this… it happened to you six months ago. I didn't know. Damn it… I wasn't there for you. Ellone sent me back. A lot has happened. God, so much has happened."

She put a single finger up to his lips, "Squall stop. I can't know my future, only my present. I don't know what brought you back here, but from my point, you_ are_ here for me. Maybe not physically, but emotionally you are here… right now."

"Rinoa… I saw it all, with Mike. I know what happened. I saw how upset you were. Why didn't you ever tell me this before? Never in my life would I ever want to think that you went through this alone. That you suffered. Please know whatever happens in our lives…" Squall moved his shaking hand over her heart, and she moved her right hand up to join him.

"I'll be here for you… I promise."

"Listen to me carefully," she begged with her eyes, ones he remembered that she wouldn't ever see out of again. Rinoa moved closer and put her arms around Squall's waist. "I won't remember this right off. It's in my subconscious. If something in my current life triggers it, then it will come back. I'm just so sorry for all of this..."

**_"No!"_** he screamed as a tear traced a path down his stubbed cheek. "I'm sorry… I'm so goddamned sorry for everything."

The image of Rinoa started fading as the sleeping nurse woke up and looked at her patient lying lifeless in the bed. The dark-haired woman smiled affectionately at Squall, "Don't be sorry. I know I'm never alone when I have you."

Squall closed his eyes and leaned toward the transparent figure. He slowly met his lips to hers and kissed them in a way he never imagined. One with such love and passion, that it would haunt him throughout eternity. She opened her eyes, wiping the tears from his face.

"Rinoa, I love you."

She beamed like a child, shaking her head in disbelief. "I never thought you would say that. Squall Leonhart, my knight, I love you too." With that, the image of Rinoa faded completely into an unknown darkness. Squall turned to look back at her one last time, but was surprised to find himself looking at his own person. His transparent figure walked over to his sleeping form, and gently closed his eyes.

He awoke with heart racing and palms sweating. "I said it… Rinoa, I love you." The words didn't seem as hard to utter the second time. True, she wasn't in the room. Still the way they rolled of his tongue, the feeling in his soul. He knew it was right, he knew she was right.

Squall finally told Rinoa he loved her, now he just had to get her to remember.

* * *

For what had to be an hour, he stared at his ceiling. So much he was trying to recall. Everything he witnessed, everything that ever happened to him. From his childhood until the day Rinoa disappeared. As a child, he couldn't help when people left, when they abandoned him. However, as an adult, he could have chosen his own path. His foolish pride kept him from pursuing a dream. A dream of her. But in reality, he was only twenty and they had so many lifetimes left, on this plane and on the next. Together they could face whatever life would throw at them. He didn't love her because she was blind… he loved her because she was her. She always had been, and for that, he always loved her.

A soft knock woke him out of his daydreams. Sometimes he didn't feel like seeing any of his friends, now would defiantly be one of those times.

"Squall," whispered the soft voice coming from behind the door. "Please, I need to talk to you."

There was no need for introduction, as he would know her voice anywhere in this life or next. He slowly sat up and gathered his thoughts before he rose to his feet. He should have answered right away, but hesitation and a spinning head hindered his efforts. After a deep breath, Squall stood and heedlessly walked toward the door. His hand found his hair, as he tried to smooth out the mess that sleeping had caused. A sudden shock went through his body, he realized this was the first time Rinoa had actually come to him. Before he'd been the one to follow her, invade her privacy. Maybe this was a positive sign. He hoped to God.

Squall opened the door and saw Rinoa standing there, looking as striking as ever. Her dark hair flowed long; she wore a button-up white shirt and blue Jean shorts. Even though her outfit was simple, she carried it off just as any formal attire. It was the presence that surrounded her, the aura of her being. She had matured a lot in the last year, both physically and mentally. Irvine was right about something, he could no longer think of her as a little girl. Not that he really ever did, but she was definitely a woman. Was it the time apart that made him see it, or was it just him? He too had matured a lot in the last year. Some things were inevitable.

"Rin, come on in. Can I get you anything?"

She smiled and shook her head. "Squall I have to talk to you. I laid in bed thinking, which sometimes gets me in trouble, more than you know. I just don't think I can stay here if... well can we sit down and talk for a while?"

Confused at what she was saying, he wanted nothing more than to understand her, all of her. After all, it would be the first step toward mending their relationship... "_Friendship_," he mentally adjusted his comment. Even though she was far more than any friend ever could be.

He fumbled with the words to say, although his thoughts came out clearly in his own mind. "Um… here… sit down. Sorry still don't have a lot of furniture. They moved me to a new room, it's definitely bigger, but with only me that too is unnecessary. Oh, I have a chair at the desk and two bean bags Zell forced on me during the last holiday season. Said he got tired of sitting on the floor when he came over, I told him not to come over anymore. Unfortunately though, he didn't get the hint."

"Well guess I could just sit on your bed, might be more comfortable. I'd say how I like your room décor, but I'm sure there are nothing more than four white walls. Quistis walked me up here. It's a far cry from your old room, huh? You've moved to the big time commander, on the officer level."

"Group picture," Squall countered.

"Excuse me?"

"You said four white walls… well you're about ninety-eight percent accurate. Above my bed, I have a group picture of us in Esthar. The gathering Laguna held, remember? You're in your black dress, Irvine's wearing his normal formal cowboy attire, and the rest of us are in our SeeD uniforms."

Immediately her mind went back to her own bedroom in Deling. She too, had a photograph from that same celebration. Yes, she knew precisely what he was talking about. Rinoa smiled at the satire, "Mr. Leonhart, I can't believe you have a picture on the wall. Especially one with, um... all of us in it." Squall gently grabbed her arm and led her toward the bed. She crawled across, leaning against the wall, and brought her knees to her chest. To her surprise, and unspoken delight, Squall sat next right to her.

"Rinoa, do you mean a picture with _you_ in it?" He said, his voice was unwavering.

"Yes Squall, I do. I'm surprised you have a picture on the wall, much less, with_ me _in it."

At that instant, he didn't know what to say or how to react to her statement. Then he thought about telling her the most obvious thing, the truth. "Rinoa, it's actually my third copy." She looked at him, tilting her head in confusion, but the small smile never faded.

"What do you mean 'third' copy?"

"Well, the first one met a tragic gunblade accident after you left. Selphie gave me a second copy about a month later. That too had an untimely demise during the holiday season… one of those unforeseen events… as in tragically being thrown-out-the-window." He closed his eyes, leaning back onto the headboard. "On Val… damn it, on the very day of your accident, Selph gave me the third copy as a present."

Looking over at her, he saw that the smile started to fade lightly. The mockery of all days… the day that changed her forever. "Rinoa," he moved his hand under her chin, making her look towards him. "Selphie told me it was so I never forgot. She also went out of her way to state she had an extra eleven copies in her room. It was cheaper to purchase reprints by the dozen, or so she maintained. Honestly, I didn't put it out for a while. I kept it in the drawer with my ring. After a few weeks, it just seemed right to have it hanging on the wall. That copy has been there ever since. It's staying there. Selph's right, I don't ever want to forget."

She had been listening to everything, taking in each word as he spoke them. Somehow, when he mentioned the ring, the words echoed in her mind. Something she yearned for so long, something she was afraid to ask about its present whereabouts. "Griever?" she unsteadily asked, "you keep your favorite ring in a drawer?"

Releasing his grasp, Squall pondered the question for a moment, and then realized he hadn't wanted to mention it. It was a huge mistake on his part. The ring was something he hadn't looked at for over a year, along with the note. He kept them as a reminder for all he had lost. Squall knew that whatever they were going to talk about, in the next few minutes, would get very personal. It was both a great relief and a source of great fear. For so long he questioned everything. What if the questions were answered right now and he didn't like the answers? No, he could handle anything. He had too. This was the first step in fixing whatever had gone wrong.

"Yes, Rinoa, I keep the ring in my dresser. I didn't want to see it anymore. Griever had been part of me, for as long as I could remember. Honestly, when I gave it to Zell it was more or less to shut him up. We were under attack, and I couldn't have him whining about a stupid ring during battle. I had no idea he was going to give it to you, and truthfully, I didn't have time to care at the moment. Garden and its safety were my only responsibility back then. Although to tell you the truth, had I known the reason… I would have never handed it over."

Squall could see the forlorn look on Rinoa's face. He hated to see that look, hell, he caused it most of the time, but she was going to hear the truth. He owed her that much after all they shared. Reluctantly he continued, "Don't get me wrong, I'm not upset that you had it later. Please, let me explain before you get upset. Rinoa… please."

The former knight couldn't help the natural reaction to try to comfort her. Though what he was saying was not earth shaking, the reality felt none the better. It was feelings that he had never shared with anyone; truths he had never revealed. Hoping she could just understand him a little bit better from the story, he reached his left hand over, placing it on her bare leg. Rinoa shuddered as he made contact, but this was his moment, and it wasn't going to be stopped.

"Rinoa, after I rescued you from the side of Garden, you told me you had Griever. I was just so angry with both you and Zell, but of course, I wouldn't show it. We were under attack. I had more important things to deal with. I could have asked for it back at the entrance to Galbadia Garden. Frankly, I didn't want to hear you go on about it, just like Zell. So, I just let it go for the time being. Over time, I began to care less. Even after time-compression, part of me wanted to get it back. I looked at the ring as something special, a never ending bond. I was no longer irritated you had it, I think I was more upset about the way you received it. It always felt like I had no choice in the matter. The decision was not mine, it just felt wrong."

Rinoa couldn't help the tears starting to form in her eyes. She had promised no longer to cry about such trivial things in her life, yet she felt the equivalent of being slapped in the face.

"_He never wanted to give me Griever? He only let me keep it so… so I wouldn't whine?_"

The other part of her wanted to scream at her childishness, if only because he was right. She _would _have kept bugging him back then, as she always did. Annoying him at every chance. With persistence, he would give in, such as he had done at the concert at Fisherman's Horizon. It was her way, her motive…heck it was what made her… _her_.

For the first time, she started to throw the guilt of the betrayal back at herself. Maybe she was at fault; maybe he needed an adult relationship that she was not a part of.

"_Why did I constantly annoy him? What a damn child I have been._" The realization was overpowering her senses. Everything felt numb… everything was a mirrored void that her life seemed to have been for two years. "_It's my fault that you cheated on me Squall. How could someone put up with my non-stop pestering?_ _Oh God._"

She always used diligence as her philosophy, in her countless attempts to open him up. Now the only time he was actually emotionally unguarded, was after she'd been gone for over a year. _She_ was the one who caused the whole incident. Yet, she wouldn't let Squall see her cry, not anymore… she desperately fought the tears back.

Rinoa felt Squall's hand leave her leg as he moved off the bed. "_Was it because I'm acting like a child again?_ _He won't see it anymore_."

Holding her head up high, she concentrated on forcing a minute smile. All she managed to do was involuntarily shudder at the attempt. She felt him return to the bed, as the mattress slowly lowered at his weight. Now was the time to apologize, not as the little girl he once knew, but the woman she was in the present day.

"Squall, I'm sorry. Looking back on the past, I know… I've made mistakes. I was bothering you. Don't think that for one second I wasn't aware of my actions. I thought if I played the innocent game, you would like me. I could be different from those around you. I didn't have to follow your orders. It was wrong. I knew you were bothered by my countless attempts. Yet, like a child, I continued. I wanted you to open up to me. I wanted to be the one to try to get you to open up... all I ever thought about is what 'I' could do," she explained, her voice containing forged self-confidence.

"However, I am not apologizing for wanting you to notice the friends who surrounded you. I just suppose, I'm sorry for how I went about doing it. Remember I did grow up into a military family, and strategy was an important part of life. Everyone here was so formal… I thought that maybe you would look for something different. I knew what I was doing and I'm sorry. Yes, I knew that you didn't technically 'give' me the ring. I just wanted to keep it. I wanted people to think we were together. You were right during the battle, mentioning that. Maybe if one hears something long enough, they accept it as being the truth. Maybe if everyone around us thought we were together… well maybe you would believe it also. However, that too is not honest. Because the one person who didn't believe in it, was the only person who mattered to me."

Watching Rinoa say these things to him made his heart only want her more. She was going to make him lose all restraint. The commander had to regain control of the situation quickly, before his feelings dictated his actions. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold her tightly, forever.

"_Friends, just friends,_" he silently repeated to himself.

"That's not at all what I meant, Rinoa. Although, yes, it did get a little annoying having you constantly hanging on me. Sometimes I just wanted my space. Then again, who else would have cared so much, only looking after my well-being? I missed it when you left me… I missed it a lot."

There was an awkward moment while Squall regained his equanimity. "When I was speaking of Griever, about giving it to you, I mentioned I was unhappy of the _way_ you acquired it. I have always taken the symbol of a ring seriously, something extraordinary. A connection shared between two. The fact that Griever and my gunblade were my only two possessions left from my family made the feeling that much greater. That ring was more a part of me than even I comprehend… until I received it back."

He felt the crushed velvet dance on his fingertips, as he nervously rubbed the container. Maybe he shouldn't be doing this to a friend, but _this_ friend was the only person he wanted to ever have the ring.

"What I'm trying to say… badly, I may add… Is that _**I **_should've been the one to give it to you. I would have only wanted to get Griever back so I could present it to you properly… not because Zell handed it over on the spur of the moment. I wanted you to have it, wear it, and think of me. When it came back, I never wanted to see it again. Somewhere along the line, Griever stopped being mine and became _ours_. You should keep it. The ring is as much a part of you as it ever was of me."

"Squall, you never gave it to anyone else?" She asked, with the words barely escaping her lips. "What about your girlfriend?"

"Girlfriend?" The statement both scared and sickened him. "I haven't had a girlfriend since you. I just couldn't say those words before, the term feels so juvenile and tawdry. You were so much more… I just couldn't."

Rinoa just shook her head, all she managed to say was the simple word, "What?" Squall took it as a question of 'why he couldn't call her a girlfriend.' Rinoa on the other hand, was still in the shock of hearing that he still denied the other woman. Even after a year, he would not admit his indiscretions to her. This was supposed to be a new start, time for coming clean on the past. That had been her intent.

"When people asked me if you were my girlfriend, I would tell them 'no.' Don't ask me why… a part of me was afraid to admit it to myself, let alone the entire world. How I felt about another person, it was too difficult for me to understand. I still wanted to believe I could make it on my own. Guess in a way, I proved I could over the last year. But in the last twelve months I have learned a bigger lesson: I don't want to live alone."

Gently he held Rinoa's hand, placing a small black velvet box in her palm. "It's Griever. I know things are different between us now. They will never be the same, but I don't want this ring, it belongs to you. Please keep it. I don't care if you wear it anymore or not, it's yours. Do with it as you wish."

Taking it in both hands, she felt the soft velvet box; it was the same one she had used to send it back. "_Did you really never wear it again? God, maybe I was wrong about the girlfriend. Could it possibly have been just a one-night-stand? Damn it Squall, does that make it better or worse? You tell me you care, but then have meaningless sex with someone. Then how much could you have really cared… or were you just scared?_"

She continued feeling velvety container, afraid to open it for some mysterious reason. "_Would it be like a Pandora's Box if I dare to open it? Would it be easier to leave it, putting it in a drawer such as you have done?_"

Rinoa thought of every word Squall had just spoken, both those said and those implied. He had changed. A year ago, he would have never talked so much. He never spoke of his feelings, only on the rarest of occasions. She wasn't sure how to handle the change in the man she dared to admit she _still _loved. Minutes passed without a word between the two.

What was there to say?

* * *

The monotonous work of grading papers was starting to weight her down. Quistis sat at her desk in the large dormitory style apartment. With another flick of the red felt-tip pen, she was one less test to score before bed. For the life of her, the now frustrated instructor couldn't figure out why Lauren and Selphie had used her room for the almost daily round of gossip. But she supposed with Ellone staying in Selphie's dorm, that their normal girl talk would distract Sis. The instructor tried to make light of the situation. She was trying desperately to concentrate, but found herself more interested in the girls' gossip than the history of junctioning. Being the constant professional, Quistis always was focused hard on the task at hand.

"Yeah, right." The younger SeeD rolled her eyes.

"Selphie, what about you and Irvine, _have you_?" pestered her best friend.

"None of your damn business Lauren! On a different topic altogether, Irvine isn't just talk…. guns and women are something he really knows about," Selphie giggled.

Lauren took another bite of her pizza, "You're so damn lucky! The first person I ever went to bed with left sometime in the night, never to be seen again. Bastard! But, I did get ten Gil for the taxi. I felt so cheap."

"So, was he like your last?" Selphie couldn't believe she was talking like this with anyone, especially when Quistis was in the room. "Or has it just been a non-stop party?"

"Gee, now you are making me feel so cheap! There have only been two guys to ever have the pleasure of seeing me naked, taxi-boy, and my current boyfriend from Trabia." Lauren picked up her beer; it had been her third of the evening. Selphie was only on her first, as she wasn't much of a drinker. The young girl usually relied on her natural happiness to carry her through. She preferred it that way.

"Well you only got me beat by one, unless you count the doctor at my birth," mused Selphie.

Lauren couldn't stop laughing, and the alcohol was getting the better of her judgment. "Tell you a secret Selph, but you can never tell another living soul. Swear that to me!"

"Sure Lauren… who am I going to tell? Okay, besides Quistis or Rinoa."

"Oh God, you could _never_ tell Rinoa! She would soooo kill me."

"What possible reason would Rinoa have to kill you? Didn't you just meet her a few days ago?"

"Yeah, yeah I know, but this involves Squall. I think my SeeD rank is going to go down for thinking about it, let alone telling you. I was promised to secrecy by our dear, embarrassed commander." Lauren leaned over to Selphie's ear.

Quistis had only half been paying attention to the two girls. Being trained as a SeeD proved useful in her everyday life and multi-tasking was something she did as second nature. She'd been grading the mid-term reports, but at the mention of Squall's name, she found herself eavesdropping.

Lauren was trying to calm herself down, as hysterics were slowly taking over her body. Attempts at whispering her secret failed greatly. "Remember when I stayed in Squall's room, before transferring to Balamb? He was supposed to be on a mission, but ended up coming home early. He thought I was Rinoa…needless to say I woke up naked in bed with Squall!"

"Oh my God, you two didn't?" Selphie was trying not to lose her poise.

"Hell no! Squall didn't see it was 'me' when he got into bed! He had come in early, and with my dark hair, the shadowy room, along with the lack of sleep… well let's just say it wasn't one of those days that goes into the family photo album. Although, the expression on his face the next morning was priceless. I don't think he'd ever seen a naked woman, especially a strange, confused one!"

Quistis digested the information for a moment. Then a sudden queasy sensation came over her, like having your stomach twisted inside out.

"Shit… she came home early!"

The instructor looked at the two girls lying unceremoniously on the floor. "I've got to go. I think I understand now… I finally get it!" She jumped up from behind her desk and headed swiftly for the door.

"What's her problem?" Lauren asked as she watched Quistis' back as it disappeared.

Selphie just stared as the door was slammed, "I… I have no idea."


	13. Midnight

-One time, at disclaimer camp… er… yeah still don't own them. However, I did come up with a great corporate idea of restructuring Squaresoft… I thought we could save some money by cutting a side… so they would now be known as Triangle-Soft… still waiting to hear back.

**_Chapter Thirteen: _****_Midnight_**

Quistis hurried down the corridor. With each step, the hall seemed to grow longer, like an illusion in a carnival funhouse. Curfew was almost upon them, and she needed help right now. Someone who was an expert at sneaking around Garden at night, someone who knew every closet, air duct, and place to hide… Someone who knew the secret area in the training center like the back of his hand… Irvine.

He would be perfect, as he was an expert in espionage along with being a pure computer genius. The man could do just about anything… except leave Zell alone. She continued down the hall until finally reaching his dorm room. Her heart raced as she quickly knocked on the door, all subtleties where left behind.

"Irvine, are you up? Hurry, I need you!"

The cowboy opened the door with a cocky smirk on his face, "Doesn't everyone? I knew you would come around sometime, sweetheart."

Quistis looked at him, shaking her head and slapping him disgustedly on the shoulder. "We didn't go back far enough…. the past… Ellone, we didn't go back far enough."

"What are you talking about? Squall saw Rinoa in the hospital, isn't that what you girls wanted? I mean 'Commander Impossible' finally said he loved her," countered Irvine.

"No, I mean to when she left Garden. We should have gone back over a year, not just at the time of the accident. I don't think there was ever someone else… it was simply a defensive move on her part. Rinoa 'thought' Squall had found someone else."

"Quistis, what in Cerberus' fur are you talking about? Our Squall find someone else? I'd be more likely to wear those ballet tights than him find someone else."

"I know that, you know that, the entire population of Balamb Garden knows that… but _she _doesn't know that. A few things she mentioned a couple days ago bothered me. First, there was that off-hand remark about 'bad memories' at Garden. When were the only bad memories? During the Sorceress War or when she left? Then she went out of the way to say she couldn't trust Squall. Why in the world would she not 'trust' someone more loyal to her than a goddamn puppy?"

"Puppy… that's an understatement. I've never met anyone so interested in only one person all my life. There are millions of people in the world, yet he could still spot her in a crowded room. He loves her, only ever her."

"Exactly, I know. Lastly, she claimed that 'coming home early changed her life.' I thought she was talking about Caraway, Julia, or something about her past. Except…" Quistis cast her eye to the ground slightly embarrassed of her childish antics. "Well… I was kind of eavesdropping on 'girl talk' between Lauren and Selphie… and…"

"You mean the always professional instructor…did something slightly unorthodox? Wow, that is sign number 427 of the end of the world!" teased Irvine trying to lighten the mood.

"Yes… I was eavesdropping… there you happy? Anyway, they'd been drinking a little and Lauren was talking about guys seeing her… um… naked. Irvine, she mentioned Squall."

"Our Squall? I don't think there is a chance in… well in anything. Squall would never cheat on Rin. Why would you even start to believe Lauren about something like that?"

"No, no, no… Lauren said 'Squall freaked out the next morning.' It got me to thinking about everything Rinoa had said. Remember over a year ago when the Trabian students came here? Because of the new classes, and the construction, we ended up running short on guest rooms."

"Dear God, I remember that… Selphie was bouncing around here so _damn _happy. Not like one can possibly tell the difference between her _happy, really happy_, and _damn happy_. I had to give up my room and sleep with Sel... er… never mind. Um yeah, I gave up my room in the name of Garden's relationship with Trabia. Really."

She had to raise an eyebrow at the comment. Not as if she believed it for one second, he just had this 'charming-weasel' way about him. The good charming-weasel… not the bad kind. However, she continued on, "Right, Lauren was assigned to Squall's room. He had been away on assignment. But, during this conversation with Selphie a few moments ago, Lauren mentioned she used to sleep naked."

Irvine scratched his head. "Ya know… Lauren and Rinoa have the same dark-colored hair. I guess if given the right circumstances, under the right conditions… one could think… but still? Although, Squall mentioned the other day that he had only seen _one_ woman naked, but it 'wasn't like I thought.' So… if he got home late, saw her in bed, was tired..."

"Right! Squall thought he was lying next to Rinoa. I remember he had gone a huge amount of time without sleep, only because Zell was with him. Trust me… I heard more than I ever wanted to know. For arguments sake, what if Rinoa came home early and saw them together..."

"It would look _very _bad – a naked woman in bed with Squall. Who among us wouldn't think anything? But, how do we know this for sure? I don't want to ask Rinoa if she possibly saw her boyfriend in bed naked with another woman. If she didn't, that certainly wouldn't help them right now."

Quistis just smiled knowingly, "Keycards, every keycard is assigned a numeric code. If Rinoa did have a keycard to his room, we could see when it was used. Lauren would have had one too, but hers would be a temporary card." She could tell the confusion on Irvine's face.

"Okay, okay… now when you came to live here, you were issued two keycards to your room, right?"

"Yeah, they said one was for emergency use."

"Exactly. But, tell me the truth, have you ever given one to Selphie? Or has she ever given you her card to gain entrance to her room." He didn't answer, only smirked very, very brightly. Quistis waved her hand, "Never mind, I don't want to know. Now what if Squall did the same? He gave Rinoa his spare."

"Oh, I get it… so Squall may have never known Rinoa came back."

"Yes! Now, the one Lauren was given was a temporary given to guests. It only worked for that room, for a designated amount of time, so she couldn't use it to gain access to any other dorms. It's like when you go to a hotel and they program the cardkey, it expires after a stated time. But, the hotel staff would still have main keys, just as maintenance, or housekeeping would."

"Now the real cardkeys, the ones issued to Balamb Garden students, are coded with their student ID number, along with a prefix of either A or B. That way, one could tell which card was used, which **exact **card was used. Every time Squall, or anybody, opens their door, it is recorded. Nobody ever looks at the report, unless there is a question of security. Nevertheless the records are still here, stored in the computers next to Cid's office."

"So, which one of us gets to explain this lovely hypothesis to Cid?" The cowboy chuckled aloud at his own comments. "Hey Cid got a minute? Squall may have broken Garden rules and given his keycard to his 'girlfriend.' Then said 'girlfriend' came back to find her boyfriend in bed 'naked' with another woman. Squall 'thought' the naked woman in his bed was his 'girlfriend.' Headmaster, we understand that is also against Garden policy, but right now that is irrelevant…"

He took a deep breath before continuing, a very deep breath, "So then Rinoa 'made up' a boyfriend and dumped Squall for cheating on her, even though, he _never_ did. So for the last year she's been mad at _him_, and he's been mad at _her_. See the paradox there headmaster? What it comes down to is… there never was 'another' girlfriend, _naked women_ - yes, not girlfriend. And then… there was never a _boyfriend_, just a male cousin. See one big happy misunderstanding. Now can we use the Garden computer to verify this story?"

Quistis couldn't help but to giggle. The whole thing sounded ridiculous, even to her, when Irvine paraphrased it like that. "Okay, so we don't 'tell' Cid. We just go up tonight and 'borrow' his computer. We're SeeDs, how difficult can this be?"

* * *

Squall sat watching every tiny movement Rinoa made. Most of her motions, he had probably already seen a thousand times. Yet, right now, a realization hit him, that he had forsaken every one of them. The way her hair carelessly laid over her shoulders, the simple act of breathing, her slender fingers moving. Everything she did, he felt as if he was witnessing for the first time.

Minutes turned to hours, while they remained with each other. Neither knowing what to say, neither wanting to rupture the moment. The sound of rolling thunder broke him out of the trance that he found himself in. A small flash of lightening illuminated the dimly lit room, finally he asked her a simple question, "Rin, what's it like?"

She moved the velvet box to her left hand, clasping it for support. Hesitating for a moment on whether or not to answer the question, she managed a smile. The very smile that he had grown to love over the last few years. "When I first woke up, it was the worst feeling ever. I wished I had been killed. I couldn't imagine not seeing things again, living my life in total darkness. I cried, God did I cry. I knew I'd have to make a decision. So, inevitably I went on with life. I had to fight. Sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night feeling… alone, very alone. I had to learn to see with more than my eyes."

He didn't move, only listened to every syllable that left her soft lips. "Like I said about the sunset, I learned to 'see' with my heart. Don't think that for a moment it was easy. I had so many bruises from the accident, and then I added several dozen more just trying to walk to the kitchen. I fell more times than I care to remember. Basically, just like at the reception hall last night. Least at home… I wasn't in front of two hundred people, the President of a powerful country, and... you."

He couldn't say anything, as the irritation in his stomach was getting the better of him. He had seen too much of her life, now he felt it was an invitation she'd have never approved of. Getting up carefully, he reached over to her side of the mattress. Unsure and shaking, his hand reached down, carefully guiding her body to the head of the bed. He managed to put two pillows on the headboard in a sitting position. Moving onto the bed again, he leaned back on the cushions. Gradually he moved his arms toward her and placed his hands around her waist, pulling her closer to him.

At first, she resisted his touch, but the moment of resistance was quickly ebbed. The sheets of rain beat against the windowpane, and it was the only sound in the room, save for their heartbeats and breathing. She fought against better judgment, and leaned her head against his chest. Her back laid against his upper body, feeling every motion, every muscle. They sat together without another word between them, just enjoying the comfort they shared, but neither would mutually admit.

Squall knew he had to say something quick. Not for the fact the silence wasn't comforting, but for the fact his emotions were finally getting the better of him. He had told her once earlier today his true feelings. Of course, technically, it was six months ago. Not to mention, there was always the small fact she didn't remember a word of it right now. For all intents and purposes, every second that ticked away was like the proverbial knife in his chest. The anticipation was consuming him.

For the second time today, he held is pride. By saying what he felt, not hiding behind the masks he created. "Rinoa, I love you. I always have. I was scared and irrational back then, unable to admit it to even myself."

Feeling her instantly tense up, Squall disliked the uncertainty within her actions. Not being able to read the expression on her face was killing him. The noise of the velvet container being released from her grasp was the only sound that echoed through the barren room. It bounced off his leg and onto the tiled floor below.

Still Rinoa made no sounds, only sat completely still.

"Please say something… anything. I know that the damage is done now. If I had been able to express my feelings a year ago, maybe it wouldn't have turned out like this."

"Don't say another damn word, Mr. Leonhart. I waited every day for over a year, just to hear something like that. Now things are different, you feel sorry for me and so you think that will make everything better." She sat up and swung her legs over the bed, trying to stand without loosing her balance.

Squall swiftly followed her lead and rose to his feet. "I don't feel_ sorry_ for you Rinoa."

"Commander, look me in the eyes and tell me there is no pity there. Oh right, you can't. So let's just tell the poor, little blind girl that you are in love with her. Maybe then, some of the guilt will go away."

Squall stood unsure of what to say. No matter what he said, it would be taken wrong. "_How am I not to feel any guilt or pity? It's a natural reaction after all. Had the situation been reversed, you would carry the same human emotions_."

"Rinoa, maybe I _do_ feel sorry for you, for me, for us. Not because you're blind, but at what could have been, what should have been. Yes, I damn well feel guilty. It was my job as knight to protect you and I couldn't even do that."

"Protect me, Mr. Leonhart? From what… you? You are the _only_ thing I ever needed protection from, my knight in shinning armor. Why didn't you want me, not only emotionally but also physically? Was it because I was just an annoying kid to you? You could have just told me you felt that way, instead of keeping me at arms length."

"Rin, I'm not going to deny what I did. Yes, I knew _exactly _how you felt. Every time you would get to close, I would push you away. If I knew that I pushed too far, I would do something to pull you back and give you hope. I knew that's what you wanted to hear, damn it. _I knew_. I have no good explanation or reason for what I did. I was scared of losing you."

"Well, Mr. Leonhart your plan worked wonderfully, but you still lost me, didn't you? Guess you didn't check with the precious SeeD manual on this one. Chapter entitled: How to treat someone who cares for you more than anybody in this godforsaken world."

Putting his head in his hands, he tried to calmly breathe in. When his breathing leveled, he ran both hands through his hair. At long last, when he felt composed enough, he asked, "Would you please stop calling me Mr. Leonhart? You're only doing that to make the situation seem less personal, less intimate. It's **Squall**… call me Squall. I know we are just friends now. I had to let you know how I felt, how I always felt. Rinoa, I owed it to you, I apologize that I was a year too late, and a lifetime too short."

"Damn it, **Squall.** Why…? Why didn't you want me? I would have done anything for you."

"Does 'anything' include leaving?" He hadn't meant the words, even as they were spoken. Her anger only reflected in her eyes, the orbs that still reflected every emotion running through her. For once, he was on the receiving end of silence and that scared him. He had never seen her so upset, and it almost seemed to be something deeper than she let on… and then the first words of her question replayed in his head.

"Rinoa, what do you mean _want_ you? I wanted you."

For too long Rinoa had tried to keep her feelings in check. Somehow, she'd felt less desirable since the day of catching him in bed with the other woman. This other person had stolen a part of Squall she had wanted. Something personal, something emotional, something real… not the façade he would put on around the others.

She needed to feel _wanted_, in only the way he could make her feel. She smiled, not one of her normal smiles, but one of almost pure wickedness. Taking a step closer to him, she reached out her hand, touching the cottony sensation of his shirt. Gently she took her fingertips and rubbed them from his shoulder, down his chest, to his hipbone. She could feel him tense up at her touch. Then slowly she reached up to her own neck and flung her hair back. With that, she let out a mischievous giggle; her hand started to undo he top button on her shirt.

Squall stood completely dumbfounded at her change in attitude. One minute she was biting his head of for telling her how he felt… next she was seductively touching his chest. This is something she definitely wouldn't have done a year ago. Although Rinoa did her share of trying to cuddle, this was completely different. His biggest concern at the moment wasn't why she was doing it, but rather if would he be able to control his own desires. If this was some kind of test she was performing, he certainly knew he would fail. He took a step away from her, pinning his back against the cool glass. He could feel every drop resonate against the windowpane.

It took everything he had, "Rinoa, stop."

She undid a second button. He was trying hard not to look at her chest.

"Why Squall, you said you _wanted_ me? Aren't I good enough for you? Or am I still just a little girl who needs a big strong man to protect me?" She had now undone her third and fourth button, and continued playing her little game.

"Trust me, Rinoa… I don't think of you as a little girl. I'm just afraid that I won't be able to control myself. I _want_ you… I love you. But, not like this…"

She finished undoing her last button and slowly let her shirt fall down to the floor. She stood in her jean shorts and laced bra. He couldn't look away any longer, curiosity, or was it hormones, was most obviously getting the better of him. Twenty years of trying to control any sexual urges was quickly, but most definitely, coming to an end. She took a step closer, filling in the space. She pressed against his body, placing her palms against the coolness of the window. Leaving only one hand for balance, she started rubbing her fingertips against his back.

"What Squall? You don't like not being in control of the situation. I thought you _wanted_ me?"

Squall said nothing. He could feel her heartbeat, could feel her breathing, and could feel the condensation from the window trickling down his back. The consciousness of her fingertips rubbing his neck, combined with her chest pressed against him was too much.

"I love you," he restated vehemently, as he grabbed the back of her head and brought his lips to hers. Every muscle in his body reacted to her touch, the sensation of her kiss. The phenomenon was overwhelming. He lowered his hands to pick her up, and then started carrying her back toward the bed.

Rinoa somehow had not expected him to actually do anything. He _never_ reacted on his emotions. In her mind, she had pictured this scenario a hundred times, but to actually be there like this, was too much. After he laid her down on the bed, she reached to his waist and grabbed his cotton shirt. Within seconds, it was tossed over his head. His bare flesh was actually touching hers.

This was a primitive response she wouldn't have expected. For him to actually allow her to touch him like this…. He didn't resist, in fact, he just encouraged the action by helping with the garments' removal. Moving his hands along her body, he reached down to find the clasp on her bra. A sudden exhilaration took over, as the chest he had spent several days trying _not _to think about was soon going to be exposed.

Rinoa continued returning the kissing, which was seemingly becoming more passionate. "_He really does think of me as a woman. He actually wants me…_" Squall Leonhart was truly showing more fervor in him than Rinoa ever thought possible. She let out a small gasp as he removed her bra and heard the sound of it falling to the floor.

Squall slowly started kissing her down the neck onto her shoulder, where she actually let out a small giggle at his soft kisses. He finally found enough courage to explore with his hands. He started at her waist, tracing an invisible line up her side, continuing upward. Tentatively, very carefully, he reached his destination. He heard her slightly moan as he ignored his own nervousness. It was so foreign, yet so welcome. Continuing to explore with his fingers, feeling every inch of her mid-section, he returned to kiss her mouth with more passion than ever before. Rinoa eagerly accepted his actions, and responded with more hunger. Both were breathing very heavily, feeling passions they had never experienced before.

Rinoa knew she had to let him know, before their actions went any further. Reaching up with the palm of her hand, she felt for his cheek and gently pushed him away to separate the union of their mouths. "Squall, wait... I love you, too." She smiled a genuine a look of contentment at his eyes, although she knew he could see into her soul. He couldn't believe how much hearing the words actually meant.

Nowhere in his life had somebody ever uttered those words to him. Never had he _wanted _to hear them. He felt complete. No, she would never be his 'girlfriend', for that didn't cover their relationship. They were soul mates on a spiritual level; they were not whole without each other. Rinoa would never be his girlfriend - his lover, savior, someday his wife, yes.

Never just a girlfriend.

"I love you, Rinoa Heartilly," he echoed once more, holding her securely. She returned the embrace, no longer having the desire to keep the tears from her eyes.

"_The past is the past, right? I love you Squall, more than you will ever understand, more than I can understand._" Rinoa's thoughts swirled in her head, mixed with the emotions her body was feeling. She honestly believed him, and felt a sanctuary in his arms she could have only dreamed about. No matter what he had done, it was in the past, it was behind him now, she was sure of that. She was his future.

A loud knock sounded at the door, startling the two out of their embrace. Irvine's commanding tone reverberated through the room. "Hey, Squall we know you're in there. Quistis and I need to talk to you two right away. Trust me, it can't wait."

* * *

Squall and Rinoa both sighed at the sound of their friend's voice outside. "This place better be burning to the ground," angrily retorted the commander. Rinoa laughed at him; everything about him seemed so new, yet so familiar at the same time.

"Squall, I'm sure it's important for them to bother you this time at night," Rinoa reasoned from her now slightly awkward position. Squall dropped his head in defeat, resting it between the pillow and her neck.

Pounding on the door again, Irvine continued to harass the inhabitants of the room. This time, his voice was drawing attention from nearby dorms. "Hey man, wake your sleepy large ass and..." All of a sudden, his voice was cut of in mid sentence.

Squall continued to watch the woman whom lay beneath him, still wrapped in his arms. "You… um… just cast a silence spell on him, didn't you?" Rinoa grinned brightly in return, biting her lower lip trying to contain the laughter. He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead, before reluctantly getting up, "God, it's wonderful to have you around again." Her only reply came from the form of a small giggle. Squall stood up and shouted back to the door.

"Just a minute, I'll be…" He looked back at Rinoa correcting himself, "We'll be right there."

For a second he closed his eyes, and understood he could never be alone again.


	14. Tomorrow

Okay they, Squaresoft, once again, rejected my buyout offer. So, no I don't own them… However, I am starting my own company called Circle-Hard. Watch for my completely new and original idea of an epic undersea romance between Remora and Squid… But as for the others right now, they belong to Square…grrrrr…

**_Chapter Fourteen: Tomorrow _**

The halls of Garden were desolate. One could almost hear the roars of the T-Rex in the training center, save for the two pounding on the commander's door. Outside in the corridor, Irvine grabbed his neck, in yet another vain attempt of overacting. The point he couldn't speak was already quite known by the instructor. Silence is golden, remember? Quistis laughed as she looked over to him, "Silence spell?" He nodded confirming her suspicions. "Rinoa's in there, have I mentioned how much fun it is to have her back?"

Irvine was not amused.

"I don't know what's going on in there, maybe I don't want to know." The instructor raised an eyebrow at the cowboy, as the mischievous grin on his face said it all. Shaking her head, Quistis continued, "We'll just have to make sure. I'm not losing either of them again… whether by distance they create or distance of kilometers."

Slyly she smiled again at Irvine, "Besides only a sorceress can undo that particular silence spell on you, although, I might be able to convince her to wait a couple of days." Irvine only crossed his arms and glared at the young instructor callously. "Kidding, Irvine, just kidding. I'm sure that sorceress thing is just a rumor, I bet anyone can fix it… in a couple of days." It was about at that moment Quistis noticed Lauren walking up to Squall's room.

Lauren looked at the two older SeeDs very suspiciously before asking, "What's so important that I was summoned up to the Commander Leonhart's room this time of night? I didn't do anything wrong, did I?"

Quistis shook her head. "Lauren, I know this may be difficult to understand, but I think you actually did something very right. I heard what you told Selphie in my room… about Squall."

The junior SeeD's thoughts raced back to what she said, the secret she had spilled right before the instructor left the room. She tried to play innocent on the subject, as Lauren looked at the Instructor confused. "Told Selphie about what? I'm not sure what you mean Instructor Trepe."

"Lauren, please… I overheard what you said, about Squall seeing you well... um…" Quistis paused, flipping her hair behind her back. Eventually she looked at the young girl, unbelieving of the next words she was about to say… "Naked… Lauren you said that Squall saw you undressed. Believe me, you did nothing wrong. It was just one of those '_wrong-time-wrong-place things_.' Unfortunately, I believe, the mistake cost him more than any of us could ever have imagined. We just need to get a few things straight."

"Instructor, you weren't supposed to hear that. I was sworn to never tell anyone. Commander Leonhart won't forgive me if this is ever mentioned again. I really like it here, please… don't say anything."

"No Lauren, he will never forgive you if you don't tell us about it. I'll explain when we get inside."

Lauren Rachels was a very good SeeD, one of the top at Balamb Garden. She'd passed through the ranks quite easily, and was now the elite 'A' rank SeeD. Something in her gut told her to trust Quistis, for the instructor's reputation preceded her. She only ever had her students' best interest in mind. With those thoughts, Lauren agreed to tell them about the incident over a year ago.

Looking at Irvine, Lauren quietly garbled, 'Hello.' He replied with only a small wave. Lauren turned to Quistis, who was staring intently, waiting patiently at the door. A realization of fear crossed the SeeD, wondering why the cowboy's sudden shyness.

"Silence spell," responded Quistis without ever turning to Lauren.

"…Rinoa?" asked Lauren apprehensively, afraid of what the sorceress might be capable of doing. Especially when provoked… like being naked, in bed, with her knight.

"Yep," replied Quistis still smiling.

* * *

Rinoa and Squall rushed to find whatever articles of clothing they had shed during the last few minutes. At last, when everything was back in place… hair, shirts, and lacey undergarments… Squall announced he was going to open the door. As he headed toward it, he took one last glance at the bed. He needed reassurance that his mind wasn't playing tricks, and she was actually there. Something caught his eye, glancing down he noticed the black ring box on the tiled floor.

He looked once more at the door, and then back to her. They could wait. She could not. Squall reached to the velvet covered container, and then he gently placed it back in Rinoa's hand. She smiled and mouthed the words, "Thank you." Not one sound came out of her mouth, but he could hear everything she was saying, if only in spirit. He bent down and gave her a quick kiss on the lips, wishing that their moment had never been interrupted. Sighing, he turned toward the door, and impatiently opened it.

"Seriously… this place _better_ be on fire," he growled. Those were the only words Squall spoke, as he opened the door.

The two women stood on the other side, trying to ignore what they might have interrupted. Irvine on the other hand, winked at the commander, which quickly freaked Squall out… as he forgot for a moment about the whole 'silence spell' thing. Quistis stood her ground on why they were there, never regretting the intrusion for a moment.

"Squall, we need to talk now, all five of us. We think we've established the real reason why Rinoa left Garden over a year ago. Please… it really can't wait."

The words hit a nerve, and he could feel the numbness from his toes all the way to his heart. Some things might have been worth the disturbance, although right now, it was _very unlikely_. On the other hand, if for some reason he could stop any heartache they might have felt later on, it would definitely be worth the few minutes of separation. Nodding in his usual commander fashion, he reluctantly opened the door wider to allow his visitors access. The group walked through the doorway, and each felt a certain degree of embarrassment when they saw Rinoa sitting on the bed.

Lauren found one of the beanbags in the corner, as the room still had sparse seating arrangements. Irvine, on the other hand, was more than happy to sit in a beanbag chair; in his opinion… this might take a while. He was going to get as comfortable as physically possible in this room; besides the bed, this was the second best choice. Hell, it was the only other choice.

Quistis stood, leaning against a small mahogany desk for support. She motioned for Squall to sit down, with a single flick of her hand. It was very strange the way she acted, as if she were in charge of a meeting. This was very un-Quistis like, to be acting the _superior_ while Squall was present. By demeanor alone, Squall could tell she was very serious about the issues at hand.

All remained silent, waiting for someone else to break the proverbial ice. When that didn't occur, Quistis jumped in, "Um... Rinoa before I start, as much as I like the 'new and improved' Irvine can you possibly use one of your Esuna spells? Trust me when I say it hurts to ask you…" Rinoa nodded in compliance and shortly after, Irvine grabbed his neck in disbelief.

"My voice, my beautiful voice… it's back! How could you do that to your sweet little, innocent friend Rin? I thought I was special."

Shooting him a look, a wry grin crossed her face, "You are special Irvine. If you bother me again like that… well… it won't be your 'voice' that doesn't work. Get it, _lover boy_?" The cowboy said not a word, but just crossed his legs, which by the way… not easy sitting on an overstuffed beanbag.

Quistis examined the piece of paper in her hand; her suspicions had definitely been confirmed. The report was so simple, yet it led to the most complex mess she had ever witnessed. The instructor inwardly wanted to scream, all the pain over one ridiculous misunderstanding that two people were too proud to confront. Each rather holding their dignity and moving on…

She let go of her fears at that moment, confronting Squall about a personal matter. Something the instructor had felt trepidation over, since their first day meeting again at Garden. She held her breath, trying not to look at Rinoa, who sat on the bed… innocent as she ever had been. And that killed Quistis. What the young sorceress thought, hell, what any normal blooded human being would have felt if put into the same situation. Unsteadily, she took a small step toward Squall, handing him the printed copy of the report. Looking down on the useless information, it seemed written in a foreign language. This little game was not sitting well with him; he wanted answers, not guessing games. He looked again at the printout, which at first seemed to be of little consequence...

**_Aug-11 10:37pm 41269X  
Aug-12 4:13am 41269A  
Aug-12 5:50am 41269B_**

"Yes, Quistis," Squall snidely commented. "This clears things up for me. How could I have been so ridiculous? This piece of papers negates the entire year of pain. Thanks for your help."

Rinoa sat completely confused about the situation going on around her. She had not heard the conversation outside in the hallway, about 'resolving their relationship'. She only heard Squall's malicious tones towards Quistis, _"Year of pain? What is he talking about?"_

"Shut up, Squall," Quistis ordered.

Something she would have never done any other time, but the situation called for her to take a more aggressive approach. Squall was certainly not going to be in a 'pleasant and jovial' mood for all of this. "It explains everything if you just wait a moment, Commander Leonhart."

Quistis motioned for Lauren to step forward. "Rinoa, this is Lauren Rachels, she is now an elite SeeD here at Balamb. Originally, though, she was at Trabia Garden with Selphie. I think you met her the first night at the ballet."

Walking up to Rinoa, Lauren swallowed in nervousness. Getting anywhere in the general vicinity of the commander, who was sitting beside the dark-haired girl protectively, didn't seem like the wisest of ideas. "Hello Miss Heartilly, I'm the one you spoke with the other evening… at the reception hall. I mentioned that I had seen you perform in the past. I was there - Irvine and Squall were the others with me."

Feigning politeness, Rinoa held out her hand, "Nice to meet you again, but why exactly is everyone here?" The slightly irritated woman continued, attempting to forge a smile through the questioning. She figured they hadn't bothered Squall so late at night, for such a trivial thing like introducing Lauren.

For a brief moment, she thought of petrifying the three intruders, if they didn't get to the point soon. Very, very soon.

"Well um..." Lauren wrestled for the right words to continue her story, which wasn't easy with Squall staring directly at her. His glare could have made an enemy surrender on sight, without ever raising a weapon. He didn't often show emotion, but when he did… it was usually never pleasant. "After they rebuilt Trabia they had us come down to Balamb to attend some meetings." She couldn't take her eyes off the commander, whose every look now shot a dagger into her chest. "Hey Quistis… why am I doing this again?"

"I sure as hell don't know," snapped Squall. He was just about to start losing his patience with the whole situation.

Quistis only motioned with her hand for Lauren to continue. "Okay, so anyway, we came down here and they were short of rooms. Selphie said that a few of her friends were away on a mission, their rooms would be unoccupied."

Hastily snapping his head at the younger SeeD, as if hearing the worst scream imaginable, Squall grasped exactly where this was going. "Shut up, now. We don't talk about this. You were ordered. I'm still your superior. You can spend the next ten years breaking ice for drinks in Trabia, if I say so."

Quistis made a sound, a cross between a scream and a gasp. This was getting nowhere fast. "Squall Leonhart, you will never be able to forgive yourself if you don't let her speak, trust me."

Standing up, he looked directly into Quistis' eyes. One thing he was sure of, she was not going to back down. He had never seen such determination reflected in her eyes. Rinoa certainly didn't need to hear this unbelievably ludicrous story while she and Squall were trying to fix, start, whatever... their relationship. Quistis took another step closer to Squall, emphasizing her position on the matter. He just glared back at her and finally sat back down, avoiding looking at Lauren.

"Whatever," came the faint murmur of his word.

Turning toward him, Rinoa was slightly confused at this whole thing. _"What are these people on? Is there something major that I can't see or sense here? Why would Quistis want me to know, yet Squall does not? What would Squall have to hide from me? Oh my God... Lauren. This girl in front of me is the one he had slept with. Quistis must have found out and wants Squall to come clean."_

What other reason could there have been?

Rinoa inhaled deeply, and continued to hold the breath. "_Great this is how I'm going to 'formally' find out, in front of everybody. This is the other woman. How could they possibly do that to me… in here… with them? Wait, maybe Lauren is still his girlfriend, and everything else just a lie?"_

She thought the cruel words, yet could not accept that Squall would lie about his feelings. No, she knew he wouldn't because Squall did love her. It was a fact that would not be questioned. What could this all be about? Did Squall still have feelings toward this other girl? The last thing she wanted to do was get involved in some adolescent love triangle. And even worse, she didn't want to win just out of pity.

Rinoa had to stop this. "No, its fine," she tried to explain to Squall in earnest, although she felt her heart being ripped out once again. "I'll just let you work out any relationship problems you two may have. Please, Quistis just leave me out of this. I'm not part of this, I don't belong here… I never did."

Rinoa tossed the ring box toward the nightstand. There were no words, as she could hear every one of them taking hurried breaths. For a short time, she thought of how this other girl might feel. To have your boyfriend bring someone back, to somehow watch your relationship suddenly ending. She knew that feeling all too well. It would have to be difficult for Lauren too, watching Squall with his old girlfriend… she almost felt sorry for her.

"You're not leaving, either!" ordered Quistis. "Does anybody around here want to finish this sometime tonight? Trust me, everybody. Just, for God's sake, trust me." The older woman knew exactly where Rinoa's mind probably went, which did in fact confirm any doubts that might have lingered. "Lauren, if everyone is done with their little outbursts… please continue." The instructor gave both Rinoa and Squall a malevolent glare, these two were impossible.

Lauren began tentatively, "Anyway, Balamb ran out of the normal guest rooms. Since I was a friend of Selphie's, they let me use one of the SeeDs' dorms who was on a mission. I used Squall's while he was in Esthar. I was given a temporary keycard to only his room and..."

"Oh God," muttered Squall, looking down at the paper. He searched for answers in Quistis' eyes, "My identification number and my keycard… keycards as both were used." She said nothing; she didn't have to. Squall hurled the paper across the room and put his hand on his forehead. _"Rinoa saw us together. Rinoa left him. Rinoa had seen me in bed with another woman… she used her key…"_

Irvine stood from his beanbag, taking over the conversation, "Rin, this is where I come in. See, we had a party for the Trabian guests. I, myself, was in Selphie's room. I think most of us had just a little too much to drink. Okay, way too much. Squall called me to let me know that the mission had been canceled. Only I... passed out before I could relay the message."

Lauren watched the reactions of those around her. She too caught on to what must have transpired. This time, Quistis didn't have to encourage her to continue with the story. "God Rinoa, when the alarm went off the next morning, Squall was just... there. He pretty much screamed when he saw me next to him. Worst part is I used to sleep without any clothes on, not after that night though."

He closed his eyes, every thought that she had, every betrayal. The reason she left, a stupid misunderstanding. Moreover, his pride kept it a secret. When she said nothing, he opened his eyes looking at her. Right now, her expression was one he had unquestionably never seen on her. There were no real words to describe the look of shock and confusion; she was almost in a ghostlike trance.

"Rinoa, you thought that... Please, I swear, nothing happened. I didn't know. They just gave me the keycard report showing that my second key was used that morning. Damn it… Rin it was yours." Squall reached his hand over to her leg, not knowing how she would react. "I love you more than anything in this world Rinoa Heartilly. If you believe one thing, believe that."

Slowly, Rinoa reached down to the hand that lay upon her thigh. _"How? How could this have happened? Such a huge damn mistake."_ Yet Rinoa never questioned the truth. Squall's voice was all she needed to know this was true. She looked toward him, "Squall Leonhart, I love you too." Without any further hesitation, she threw her arms around his shoulders.

"Well um, guys?" Irvine tried to interject, but it was clear neither of them planned to move for a long time. "Well, we're all going to bed now… new cadets coming and all. Squall, Cid said you could take a little more time off. Said he would handle the cadet formalities. Actually, he ordered you to take time off."

* * *

Rinoa was the first to break the embrace, "Squall... I'm so sorry."

He gently brushed Rinoa's hair out of her face, before putting his finger to her lips. "Shhh, we need to talk a little don't we?" She nodded without a smile, trying hard to restrain her tears. "Tell you what, give me the key to your guest room. I'll go get Angelo and her belongings, and you can stay in here tonight if you like. Don't worry Rin, I'll take the floor."

Again, she tried to smile, but nothing more than a small line appeared on her face. After getting the card, Squall guided Rinoa out to the small balcony off his room. It was nothing like the grander ones throughout Garden. This one would barely allow fitting two chairs on the landing, not as if the commander owned any though.

"I'll be fine Squall." He hadn't asked, but she knew he wanted to hear it.

"I won't be long."

"I know, I know."

She moved her fingers over the smooth metal railing, as she listened to every sound. From the purr of the generators, to the high-pitched humming sound that resonated out of the lights. In the distance, she could hear the crickets chirping, and an occasion animal calling aloud. She thought of everything, past, present and future.

Future… a word that used to scare her.

Within minutes, the commander retrieved the faithful dog, and returned to his room. She was still standing out on the balcony, moonlight reflecting off her hair. Both hands were gripping the railings, as if holding on for dear life. Each finger seemed to find its place on the metal barrier. Squall walked to her side noticing the solemn look upon her face. He said nothing, just stood beside her quietly.

"When I was young," started Rinoa, "My mother used to read me books. Every week she would go the bookstore and purchase one for me. It was our special time together… she would read me a new chapter every evening. Exactly one week from the day she passed away, some personal items were returned from the investigating officials. Her purse, assorted maps from the car, and a bag from the bookstore. I didn't know about the bag for a while. Later, for the holidays, my father wrapped the book up and put it under the tree. The tag said it was from my mother. At first, I thought it was some kind of cruel joke, and then I realized what had happened. She had gone to the store that night to pick it up… Squall, she was killed coming home from the bookstore." Rinoa could no longer keep the tears from falling, one-by-one they traced a path down her face.

Squall watched as the light reflected off each one like a crystal. He wanted to hold her, to never let her go… to make every nightmare go away, and every dream come true. But that was not in his power, he was just a man and could only do his best. He just hoped that whatever he had to offer would be enough. Slowly he moved one of his hands over hers; she willingly allowed the contact. There was a soothing comfort in his touch.

Rubbing her eyes trying to stop the tears, she continued, "My mother died because she went to pick up something for me. I hated that book, I hated everything it cost me. Almost five years later, I had been in one of my typical fights with my father. He ordered me to stay a week in my room… no friends, no phone, and no television. For some reason, I looked over to my shelf and saw that book. Five years after she died, I sat down to read my mother's present, her last present to me… ever."

Rinoa had never told another living soul this story, as it was easier just to forget about the entire ordeal._ "We don't know the future, right?"_ A year ago, she wanted to tell Squall, but he wasn't ready emotionally to hear such a thing. They each had grown in the last year, and he was now able to give almost freely of himself. Well, this was Squall after all... there still was a limit. Somehow telling him was her way of trying to return the favor. Physically giving herself was easier than giving something she tried desperately to conceal.

The tears continued their journey down her pale skin, the droplets too heavy to bear the weight of gravity. The promise she made herself not to cry had been broken. No, it had been amended. There was definitely a difference, for now she cried not out of anger, but out of love. Love for Squall, love for her mother. She was trying to heal both of their suffering with her admissions.

He stood silently through her story. The guilt a five-year-old must have faced, believing they were the cause of their parent's death. For Squall, it would be easier thinking they didn't want him, like he did his father. Hate is easier to live with than guilt, and he knew that. However, to blame oneself for their parent's death would have been indescribable. He took a step behind and put his arms securely around her waist, she continued to face the night sky.

Feeling Squall's presence against her, made Rinoa shiver. He gently lowered his head to rest on her silky hair. A feeling she could, and would, absolutely get used to. Rinoa hesitated before continuing, "_Castles in the Sky_, the name of the book was _'Castles in the Sky.'_ It told the story of a woman who was always dreaming, never stopping to realize what she had in front of her, too busy reaching for things out of her grasp. Finally, one day, she opened up her heart, finding the fairy tale life she dreamed about. Ironically, it was right in front of her. She just couldn't see it."

"Squall... I was the one who told you to 'see' with your heart, not your eyes. Yet, I 'saw' what I thought happened between you and Lauren. If I'd only looked with my heart, I would have known better. I was so caught up in a fairy tale romance with you, the one I had created… if only in my mind. I never stopped to appreciate you. Squall Leonhart you were a beautiful person back then, just as you are now. I didn't ever deserve you."

Turning her around, they were now face-to-face. He held her close, their bodies centimeters apart. "Rin, don't ever say that. It was me that didn't deserve you. I can't believe that anybody would put up with me as long as you did. Every time you got close, I'd push you away. Maybe it was some kind of game to me, and losing you might have been the only way for me to see what I had. Maybe I was the one chasing the 'castles in the sky.' The perfect warrior, the perfect hero, that's what I tried to be. I didn't see what I had until you left. I regretted it everyday for the last year. Believe me, had the situation been reversed… I would have believed the same thing when I walked in to the room. Except with one small difference, I don't think I would have turned around and walked out. Pretty sure I'd be on trial for murder."

She could feel his heart beating faster; she knew this admission had to be awkward for him. It wasn't as if he talked about emotions and feelings on a whim. "Squall, there's something I need to tell you. I don't want you to hate me for it… I just don't want any secrets between us anymore. While we were apart there was this guy named Mike and..."

Squall again quickly put his finger up to Rinoa's lips, "Rin, it's all right. I know."

Pushing out of his arms, she looked towards him. The expression on her face said it all, _'How?'_

Rinoa had said not a single word to Squall, but he could understand her better than anyone else in this world. "Well, no secrets right? I hope you can forgive me for this Rinoa, I don't think I would do well with someone invading my life like this…"

"Ellone… Ellone sent me back to the past. I'm sorry Rinoa… I never asked her too. I think all our friends just wanted me to see... Well, to say that I needed you, that I love you."

"When?"

"Ellone sent me back this afternoon. I saw everything, from the party to the hospital."

A look of shock swept over her face. "Hospital… Deling… the hospital? You were there, I remember. Squall, you were the last thing I saw, not the lights. Why didn't I remember this before?"

"I guess something had to trigger the memory. I was there with you through your subconscious. Rin, I should have been there in person. I'm sorry."

"But to me, you were there. You gave me the strength to go on. Why in the Hell didn't I remember this before? Squall… you told me that you loved me six months ago. Even a few minutes after you saw me with Mike… you still told me."

"Mike doesn't matter, he never did."

"He wasn't you," her voice softened with the confession. She lifted her face toward him, hoping that maybe he would understand. "I tried to think he was, trick my mind. In the end, it was the worst day in my life. I heard your voice, that's why I said your name, wasn't it?"

He smiled almost embarrassedly, and glad for once that she couldn't see him. "Well, it wasn't the easiest thing to watch. I had to say something, to tell you how I felt. I don't really care what technically happened, as far as I'm concerned I'm your first. The first one to love you, the first to hold you, and the first who will make love to you… and the last."

Rinoa leaned against his chest and cried again. This man was the best thing in the world, and he was all hers. After a few minutes of holding each other, Squall reached down and tenderly captured her legs. The commander carried her, from the humid night air to the chilly temperatures of his dorm. He managed to lay her down on the bed, with her head softly against the pillow.

Squall bent down and kissed her on the lips softly, passionately. "Rinoa you take the bed, I'll sleep on the floor for tonight. We both have had a very long day."

Rolling on her side, she leaned on her elbow. "Mr. Leonhart, do you think after everything that we have gone through in the last year, I'm going to let you sleep on the floor?" She then smiled devilishly, "Unless, of course, you're worried that your girlfriend will be back in the morning and get the wrong idea."

Squall almost playfully jumped onto the bed next to her. "I think she is still out of town for a while. Only problem is... it probably won't be the wrong idea and if you call me 'Mr. Leonhart' one more time, you're going to regret it young lady. You make me feel very old."

"Sorry, _Mr. Leonhart_."

"That's it!" Squall reached over and pulled her close rolling himself on top, "Now I'm going to have to tickle you. Really, didn't want to do this, but if the enemy does not listen, one must take drastic measures for national security."

"National security, huh? Well, that's a different story. For that, I will stop calling you _'the name.'_ Mainly it's because I hate being tickled."

"Good choice," he said, bending down and closing the distance between them.


	15. Forever

-Wow my final disclaimer of the story. I'm speechless. It's really sad to come to the end of all the disclaimers. I would like to thank all the other disclaimers that have given me this opportunity in the past, for example chapters 1-14. If it wasn't for them, I wouldn't have made it this far. Sniff. Also, thanks to all the small disclaimers in my life, you know who you are.

Now on with it: Neither I, nor any of my subsidiaries (which are my two kids), own the rights to Final Fantasy VIII or any of the characters. I do however, own Maude McCay anyone want her? Please, she eats a lot of food around here. I swear she was looking at my husband the other night. I offered her to Square, but was immediately arrested. Brother, get some humor multi-millionaire guys!

**_Chapter Fifteen: Forever _**

As Rinoa lay in bed, she felt warm sunlight drifting through the solitary window. Silently she thought,_ "eight o'clock."_ Over the last few months, she'd learned to tell time by the direction of the sun's heat upon her body. Something that would have never registered before, it was now second nature. She inhaled deeply and opened her eyes, although the gesture pointless. It was habit, if nothing else. Events of the previous nights swirled through her memories. Honestly, none of their actions had been planned.

"_God, Lauren was just a misunderstanding. Did I lose my sight because of it, or gain knowledge of things around me that I would have never known? Would I have truly been thankful for all in my life, had this not happened, or just taken it all for granted?_"

She had done that before, it was all too obvious now. Two years ago, Squall was supposed to fall for her, it was only natural, right? She had this undeniable charm and perky disposition. She was a damn 'princess' who always got what she wanted.

Now, more than ever, she understood how those around her perceived actions. Everything in her life had been according to her plan up until a year ago, when for once fate had stepped in with his plan. Coming back from Deling started a chain of events that would forever change their lives.

Looking back now, she could honestly say she truly did despise him. Somehow, she could never say the word hate, that was far from the truth. Oh, she did loathe him for his actions, for what she thought had transpired. However as a person, try as she might, unadulterated 'hate' wasn't possible toward Squall. And God, she wished she could have been. It surprised her back then, how the person she reviled the most in the world, was also the person she loved the most.

Rinoa still would have given her life for him without hesitation. In a way, she did. Fortunately, others viewed the life she gave as a selfish, spoiled brat. The life she was given in return, more wonderful than anything possibly imagined by humankind. Squall loved her, only her. Not for her looks or her position among the upper social class, but for the person she never knew. The one hidden behind just as many masks and layers as Squall once appeared long ago. He saw _that_ person. By some ironic turn of events, she finally opened her eyes… only by losing them.

Last night, nothing serious was meant to happen. Just to be in his presence, just be together.

* * *

After the other three left, the two had in fact laid down to go to sleep. Okay, after a little, or she guessed, a lot of making out. The idea of her and Squall '_making out'_ almost made her laugh, even now. That was an adolescent term Zell would use.

Irvine, on the other hand, stood by the ever popular baseball references. First base, second base, etc... Rinoa never truly figured out the base definitions, or how far one would have to go to reach a certain base. She made a mental note to ask Irvine in the morning. Then again, Squall might not be happy about that… so she decided on asking Selphie. Curiosity was killing her of what 'base' she and Squall had made it to. Damn those teenage sayings.

It had been hours since she had settled down for sleep. Wearing just boxer shorts and a tee shirt, she simply didn't feel all that attractive. Although she felt comfortable, and that was what was important. For a while, she just lay against Squall's chest, experiencing every heartbeat and the echo each made throughout his body. Truly, it was a wonder, she could literally hear life around her, and never was it more precious. In all her life, she had never slept so close to anyone, the feeling completely foreign… yet far from unwelcome.

His fingers had gently played with her hair, each one sending a small sensation down her spine. Nevertheless, they lay there… silent. Gradually his breathing became deeper and more rhythmic, and she could feel his body slowly succumbing to the needed slumber. Every twitch, every move he made subconsciously she could feel. Finally, his fingers stopped twirling strands of her hair as he slipped into his dreams.

Silently Rinoa lay, unable to join him in the realm of much needed sleep. The room had a sound of its own, from the fans running, to the constant air conditioner that blew the cold air, which so contrasted with the heat of August. The alarm itself made a steady humming noise that only one who was truly hearing could heed its call. Occasionally she could hear the footsteps of a stray student, or guest, passing through the hallway. Some she was sure who were breaking curfew, on their way to the secret area no doubt.

The secret area… the thought brought back some of the greatest, and worst memories. It was there that she had told him her true feelings, how she honestly felt. But that was over a year ago and the words fell on deaf ears. She knew now, it's truly easier for her to say the words than to mean them. And that was because no matter whom she said them to in her youth, they never rang true until now.

It was also the secret area… where she felt her greatest regret, beside from the entire misunderstanding she had just faced. On one haunting evening, she laid her feelings on the line. He figuratively walked away, and then physically walked away. The retreat wasn't direct at first that wasn't his style. Maybe he would have a few years before her, but even he had grown since Ultimecia, if even by a little… He just looked at her. Scared. While her words were not exact… not an all out "I love you," they meant the same and he knew it. Not only was he not ready to reciprocate the words, he wasn't able to fathom the notion. So he walked up to her, placed a hand on her shoulder and said, "Rinoa, I can't…"

She didn't need any more than that simple statement. She turned her back to him, much as she had done this evening on the balcony. But when she turned around… he was gone. Neither of them talked about it again. That happened three weeks before Lauren, for so long in her mind she figured why he didn't return her feelings. Never once were her assumptions correct.

He **_did_** love her. He just didn't know how.

Maybe now the words rang true for both of them. They needed to live, to learn, before they could truly love. Both scared, both never knowing. It was in that moment, he shifted in his sleep, placing one arm around her while lying on his side. It was as if the position was as natural to him as breathing. But, he had never slept with another person, and that only deepened the meaning of the comfort they shared.

* * *

All of her thinking, although at the moment not so brilliant, made her thirsty. She wanted to get out of bed and get a glass of water. Simple, right? Rinoa never thought about such ordinary tasks before, while staying at Garden. She didn't want to disturb Squall from his slumber, and figuring this would be only slightly difficult, she moved his arm from her waist. Whoever said getting a glass of water was brain surgery? If she took a slow pace, and tried to remember where things were… plus she had the aid of Angelo. Water would be easy, right?

Arriving in the small bathroom was the simple part. Even finding the glass sitting on the edge of the sink proved not too difficult. Angelo stood faithfully by her side, as if protecting her from the greatest of enemies. But right now, the only enemy was only her ability to have faith in herself. As she turned the faucet on, Rinoa suddenly heard a bug fly by her face. On instinct alone, she turned to swat the infuriating creature, thus causing her free hand to knock down the tumbler. The sound of breaking glass, hitting the tiled floor, echoed throughout the almost barren dormitory

"Rinoa are you all right?" The concerned knight sprang out of bed, rushing toward the sound.

"Um, yeah… I just_… _I just…"

A thought crossed her mind at the speed of lightening, "_Squall Leonhart is the Commander, the leader of SeeD. He's now doing the same work my maid would do for me back in Deling. He can't spend his career taking care of the blind girl. Damn it, he can't concentrate fully on his duties while I am around_."

The words pained her to say, but they rang true in her mind, "Squall, I can't do this to you."

"It's all right Rin. I never really liked that glass anyway."

"Stop!" She put her hand out to impede the advance Squall was making. "That's not at all what I meant. You, Squall Leonhart, have been given the responsibility of hundreds of lives. You are accountable for their safety, security, and their welfare. How safe are they going to be if you have to concentrate all your efforts on your stupid girlfriend who can't fix a damn glass of water?"

"They are trained to take care of themselves. I'll take care of you."

"You'll take care of me? I should be able to do that myself, and if I can't… I shouldn't be in a situation where I could cause harm to you, our friends, or other innocents here. Please Squall, look at the entire situation, not just what 'we' want. Be honest with me and yourself."

He ran his right hand through his matted locks, trying to find the best words for her. He wondered if anything he could say would make a difference, or if she were already gone. And he knew one thing, if she left, so would he. "Yes Rinoa, it scares me. You know how I feel having to depend on others or them depending on me. The first night after I found out that you had lost your vision, I spent most of that night just thinking. Continuing to go after you… I knew what the outcome could be, what the Hell I _wanted _it to be. Don't think I'd come this far… and not have gone over every possible scenario a thousand times. Remember, I plan battle strategies for a living."

Taking a few steps closer, he reached out his left hand. Gently, silently, he grabbed slender wrist, and then entwined their fingers together. At first, she seemed hesitant, but shortly gave in. "But Rin how much better off are the people of Garden, if I don't give a shit? Is that the headstrong leader you want in command? I know how goddamned hard this is going to be. You'll always be my first thought, but damn it… you always were. It doesn't matter if you have your sight or not. When it comes to you, I've always been irresponsible: jumping in space, walking to Esthar, or not coming after you the day you left me. Rinoa I love you, guess the question is… do you _want _me to?"

"Yes Squall," her voice barely a whisper. She played with his fingers, feeling the contrast between the textures of the two skins. "It's just... so much." She let his hand go gently, lowering her arms to her sides. Cautiously, Rinoa backed herself a few steps into the bathroom corner, tears escaping her brown eyes. She took a moment to collect her thoughts, gradually raising her head. Squall could almost swear, even though she couldn't physicall_y_ see, she saw deep into his being at that very moment.

Tentatively, yet with a newfound confidence, she simply stated, "I... I need help getting a glass of water."

To anybody else, it was a straightforward declaration. Squall took it, not for face value, but for what it was really worth. Rinoa was not truthfully asking for a glass of water, but help. The assistance she denied for so long. Not just aid with this meaningless task, but help for the rest of their lives.

His heart genuinely smiled at her, "I will help with a glass of water today, tomorrow, forever."

"I know you will," she countered with lips forming the hint of a smile.

Walking toward her, he carefully took her in his muscular arms, carrying her back to the bed. "Squall, please don't leave me." She almost sounded like she was begging, and maybe she was in her own way.

"I'm not leaving you Rin, just going to clean up the broken glass."

"No, don't leave me… please."

Squall looked at her pleading expression, into her soul. Even though she could not see him, an emotional exchange took place without sight, without words. He, at that moment, realized it was not a request. It was an invitation to something more… simply stated, simple, just like him.

He carefully placed his body on top of her, beginning where they had left off earlier. Together they removed material barriers, as Rinoa explored his body with her hands feeling every scar and every wound. It was her way of 'seeing.' With every touch, she memorized his physical being. They never looked behind from that moment, and not once did Squall consider backing down. He let natural instinct take over, where once logic only ruled. With tender care, with awareness, he began taking off the final garments. The ones that bound them. This was right, they were right.

* * *

The sounds of seagulls flying over the peaceful ocean woke Rinoa from her daydream about the previous night. So many things had changed, yet her knight was right there, lying next to her. Her mind drifted to the book her mother purchased that ill-fated night. Her life really did reflect that story, if one would look for the parallels in '_Castles in the Sky_.' Only she had stopped searching years before the heroine in the book. She was only twenty now, but had lived a lifetime. Silently she closed her eyes tight, thinking how happy her mother would be. Rinoa had, in fact, found true and eternal love. Something that Julia had never managed to do._ "I love you mother,"_ she whispered as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

Next to her, the sleeping form started to stir. Rinoa did feel a bit guilty from waking him from the much-needed rest, yet a larger part of her couldn't wait to hear his voice again. "Squall, it's about eight, do you need to go work soon?"

Squall stretched his arms, waking from the perfect night before. He turned on his side toward her, and gently put his arm under her bare back. Rolling over, she placed her head against his chest, once again feeling the reverberations of his heartbeat. This was going to be her new favorite pastime.

"Are you trying to get rid of me, already? I figured it would be at least twenty years or so before you felt that way."

Playfully she slapped him on the forearm, "Squall! I could never feel that way, and you know that's not what I meant."

"I know Rin, just good to wake up with you." He paused to kiss her forehead. "But no, I don't have to go in. Cid is taking care of business today. Sometimes I don't understand that man."

"_That_ man, let's try all men," she giggled. "Still don't understand what you were ever doing at the ballet. Or umm... that comment from Maude McCay about you being a_ good kisser_."

He hid his face in her hair, trying play up the bashfulness. "Damn, hoping that one slid by you."

"Normally, I would be jealous if anyone told me you were a 'good kisser.' Now I'm just scared."

He buried his face deeper into her dark hair, tightly pulling Rinoa closer to him. His answer came back in a frightened child-like voice. "Rinny, it was so horrifying, worse than Ultimecia. She _wanted_ me, I even saw her...well most of her cleavage."

"Squall, for the first time, you made me glad I can't see."

"No, it was worse than that... She kissed me. I even felt a little... tongue." He now held Rinoa even tighter, and in return, she could do nothing but laugh out loud. "I needed to find out about you, so a little undercover work was needed. No pun intended. I went to her house and told her that Irvine was interested in you and-"

"Irvine? Why in the world would you tell her that Irvine liked me? First, you're kissing seventy-year-old women, and then you're setting me up with Irvine? Have you lost your mind Mr. Leonhart?"

"No, Rinoa… I lost you… and well, I couldn't tell her I was the one in love with you. She wanted me for herself, and you know what a stud I am. Couldn't hurt her feelings, didn't want to crush her dreams like that."

"I'm going to be sick." She managed to mumble between laughs.

"And Rinoa, how many times do I have to tell you… do not call me _Mr. Leonhart_?"

"I'm sorry, I forgot... Commander Leonhart."

"That's it young lady!" He rolled on top of her and pinning both of her hands above her head. "Now you're in for it..." He lowered his face to her neck and started kissing her lightly.

"Wow, I'm sooo frightened. Is this how all SeeD punishments go, Mr. Leonhart, Mr. Commander, Sir." Rinoa said still chuckling from the previous exchange.

"Only _yours_, only to cadets or civilians that I'm in love with. And the list starts and ends with you." He gently kissed her lips until all her laughter had subsided. Then it grew into a more passionate fervor, as he began kissing her deeper. For the second time, they shared their souls, along with their bodies.

Rinoa mused to herself, _"Home-run! Least I don't have to ask Irvine about bases later..."_

* * *

The group had congregated in Zell's dorm room. Although it was no bigger than anyone else's, save the commander's. It somehow had a unique, inviting feel only he could offer. Maybe it was the black lights and the small disco ball that hung in the corner… or the simple fact that he had furniture. Selphie and Lauren lay on their backs, counting the little plastic glow-in-the-dark stars placed on the ceiling. Quistis and Irvine were fighting over the rules of triple triad, and Zell sat on his bed with his pet ferret close to him.

"Zell, why in the hell do you keep that ugly thing?" Irvine piped up.

"Maybe for the same reason Selphie keeps_ you_."

A huge smile then illuminated Irvine's face. Zell immediately realized where the cowboy's 'gutter brain' went, along with everyone else's. "Ah... wait a minute, that didn't come out right! You know what I mean." Everyone was laughing at the now infuriated martial artist's comment, laughing even more at the way he was trying to get out of it. "That's not what I meant guys! I mean because it was ugly like Irvine... not for any other reasons, you perverts."

Selphie sat up and looked eye to eye with the ferret. Little beady eyes stared back at her. "I think it's kind of cute. But what's the difference between a weasel and a ferret?"

Irvine couldn't help himself, "The weasel owns the ferret. The only difference physically I can think of…. is about _five foot three_."

Quistis could tell Zell was getting very livid; because that is, in fact, what Zell does. Irvine on the other hand, gets Zell mad… that is what Irvine does. According to instructor Trepe, they both still do it very well. Two years and a lifetime of this, Quistis still felt like she was officiating the Galbadian national wrestling team with these two.

"_First Seifer and Squall, now these two?__ Will it ever end? Do I really want it to?_" Therefore, in her best big-sister voice she announced, "Boys don't make me get out the record albums...anymore from either of you and it will be five hours of_ Copacabana_."

"Yes Ma'am!" They both shouted out in unison.

* * *

Morning had come and gone, just as it does on any other day. It was nearly two in the afternoon now, and Garden was almost desolate. The cadets were taking a traditional survival camping trip lead by the SeeD candidates. Cid had agreed to accompany them this year, something he rarely did. In fact, the only other known time was the year that both Squall and Seifer were cadets… Therefore, this left just the instructors and actual SeeDs having a day off.

Lauren spoke up, "Has anyone heard from Squall or Rinoa today?"

"Only the people on either side of his room I bet," Irvine said as Quistis swiftly elbowed him in the stomach. "Gee... I'm saying that in a good way Instructor… a _real _good way."

Before another comment was made, there was a knock on the door. Selphie walked over and opened it to a serious looking Squall and a smiling Rinoa.

"Hey guys, just talking about you," said Irvine with a wave to the commander.

Squall shook his head and only said, "I'm sure you were." He effortlessly guided her across obstacles, no matter if they were furniture, people or weasel. Quistis thought it looked like they had been doing this for years. Angelo followed very close to Rinoa, acting as a guard dog on duty. The instructor guessed in a way, the canine was. The couple continued walking into the room, and both sat down on the couch.

Holding on to his rodent friend, Zell innocently asked, "Hey, Rinoa did you sleep all right last night?" Again, everyone in the room started laughing, apart from Squall. The commander now found great interest in the unruly 'fluff' around his collar, no doubt trying to hide his eyes from everyone else. Even Rinoa stared chuckling and turning a slight shade of crimson, hiding her face in Squall's chest.

Standing up, the blond man yelled, "You people are crazy. I just asked an innocent question and you turn it all around. When did everybody become Irvine?"

Squall looked at Zell and simply retorted, "I'd say when they hit puberty many years ago... Let us know when you get there."

He was now turning red with anger, "_Et tu_, Leonhart?"

"Well, if you can't beat them, join them," Squall stated. In a moment of sudden playfulness, he reached over to Rinoa and kissed her deeply, not caring who was watching. Everybody in the room knew Squall had changed; this was the man only a week ago was as depressing as ever… really depressing. Now he was different.

Quistis sat at her table, and thought of how much was taken from him at an early age. This was the person was the man Squall should have always been. She for one welcomed the change with open arms. "_Although, darn it_." She couldn't help thinking, "_How could those two possibly breathe right now?_"

Still surprised at his own uncharacteristic actions, Squall was taken aback. He didn't care who was watching or what they thinking. He only thought of Rinoa, of that moment. "_She is really here, in my arms, and_..."

"…Ahhggg," Squall was suddenly thrown out of the moment by a stabbing pain in his hand.

"What's wrong Squall?" Rinoa looked up at him in complete concern of his pain.

"George," he managed to spit out.

"George?"

"George, the stupid killer ferret."

"Killer what?" Rinoa's concern gave way to amusement.

"Zell's – dumb ass- ferret. Who hates me."

"Hate's you? Is that why he is dumb?"

"Yes, right now the little fiend is hanging on my left hand drawing blood."

Rinoa now was in full-blown laughter, "Let me get this straight… Zell has a 'dumb-ass' ferret that hates you. So, right now '_George the killer ferret_' is hanging on your hand… With his teeth deeply impaled into your flesh. My question is… why on earth is he still there?"

"I'm trying to get the little weasel off."

"Ferret," Zell corrected, as he removed the furry creature from Squall's hand. "George doesn't like Squall. Tried to get him to dislike Irvine, but only hates Squall. I guess he has issues with belts."

Squall held his sore, slightly bloody hand as Rinoa gently snuggled up next to him. The commander looked down to Angelo and pointed to George. "Go get it… dog food… kill, attack, whatever you do." The dog just stared blankly at him back at him.

Before Zell could say another word, there was a knock.

Selphie jumped over to the door, wondering who else it could be, as everyone they basically knew was crammed into the small room. She looked through the door and saw Cid standing there with someone.

**"Oh no! ...Holy Hyne!"** Selphie turned to her friends with a look of utter disgust, "Zell… door… **you!**" She ran to the back of the room, and jumped on the bed hiding behind her boyfriend, wishing that his cowboy hat were tall enough to block her from sight.

"What Selphie? What could possible be that scary...?" Zell opened the door wide. He answered his own question out loud, "Maude… Maude McCay."

There stood the elderly woman in an emerald-green pantsuit. "_With, oh my,"_ Squall thought, "_spaghetti straps and a push up bra, here come the memories back… all bad_." Her silver hair was slicked back against her head, leading into a tight bun. Showing off the three, no maybe four, face lifts performed over the last hundred years. The traditional fire engine red lipstick covered most of her lips and part of her face...

Diplomacy and duty took over apprehension; Squall stood up and walked over to the door.

"Cid, what do I owe the honor of the visit of the lovely Maude McCay?" said the trained professional, as he took her hand and kissed it lightly.

Rinoa turned her head, after everything Squall had told her this morning this must be killing him. Yet, at the same time, she knew he was doing this act for her benefit, well at least her amusement. "_Damn he had changed._"

Cid too was more than a little bewildered, but like the rest of the group was entirely entertained. He mentally thought of giving Squall a raise for his untapped potential and acting skills. Maude was one of Edea's friends, not his. **Not his at all**. In fact, on two separate occasions he remembered Maude making a pass at him. Poor Squall. Good thing he had Rinoa now to comfort him during his tragic time of need. Cid returned his mind to the scene around him, excused himself, and headed up to tell Edea of the amusing sight.

Maude took a step closer to Squall, invading what little personal space she still allowed him. "Heya handsome," Maude began. "I just wanted to thank you again for all the help back in Deling. I was passing through the neighborhood, wanted to drop by this lovely present for you. Also, have something for Irvine, Lauren, and sweet little Zell. I still can't wait till he 'paints' my bedroom."

"Uh... huh..." Were the only sounds that could escape the commander's lips. Maude grabbed on to Squall's arm and pulled him closer to her. In fact, if he looked down… there would be more therapy needed.

"Still wish you were the one painting my room, gunblade boy - sure you don't want to? I'll triple the pay." She pinched Squall's butt, the fear in his eyes was priceless. Selphie was quietly relaying the unfolding physical events to Rinoa. Who right now had her head turned, hiding her bouts with hysterics.

"Squall, I'm sure you have never had a woman help you paint… with my experience. It's a once-in-a-life-time offer, big boy."

"Sorry, Maude. But, I already have a girlfriend who... um needs me to paint... no, who I love very much."

"Squally don't lie to me. Last week you didn't have a girlfriend. People don't fall into love that quick." Maude replied eyeing Squall top to bottom, and unfortunately for him stopping in the middle. "Lust maybe, _love no_."

Feeling nauseated to his stomach, Irvine knew Maude's type. Well, hell he was her type – sixty-years into the future and of the female species. Thank God Selphie came along. There was only one way he could possibly see an escape for his poor friend, with the added bonus of having a little fun at Squall's expense.

Irvine walked up and put his arm around the commander. "Maude... Squall's _with me_."

The lady looked confused, "With you?"

"Yes," Irvine took a step closer to Squall, "_With_ Me."

"With you, what do you mean, _with you_? You're a guy and he's... Oh, really! I'm sorry Squall why didn't you tell me?"

Not really sure how to react - or what was possibly worse Irvine or Maude – he quickly figured it in his head, and came to the distressing conclusion that Irvine was better, if only by a little. "Um… I don't know Maude. Sometimes these things surprise you, very quickly. I mean really surprise you. Hell, trust me on this one, it also surprised me."

The four girls where now sitting on the couch trying to find strength together, they were failing miserably. Selphie had a couch pillow over her face trying to regain her self-control, watching her boss and her boyfriend in such a unique situation. Irvine turned to the martial artist, "Zell here though, said he would love to go with you right now. Make sure you get back to the train station all right."

"What a sweet little boy," Maude reached over and felt Zell's biceps. "Wow, you must work out." He was so taken back with the moment; he didn't feel Irvine pushing him out the door, until it slammed behind him.

"Hey, Zell… I want to stop and get a bite to eat at the train station. Do you happen to like hot dogs?"

"_Maude…hot dogs…Maude…hot dogs…damn it_," the inner voice cried in his head. Until, alas, he could only say one thing to her. "You're buying, right?"

* * *

Quickly, Squall threw Irvine's arm off him. He stood for a moment, in complete horror and shock, before returning to the couch sitting quietly next to his hysterical girlfriend. Rinoa put her arms around him again, "Why didn't you tell me? Irvine, though, is he really your type?"

"Please," Irvine commented, "I just lowered my standards."

Lauren looked over at Irvine, "When did you_ have _standards? Did I miss something here?"

"Oh my Squall," interjected Quistis. "I didn't know that there were that many shades of red." The commander, again, quickly started taking note of how fascinating his fluffy collar was, trying to completely block the sound of everyone's laughter.

Taking her right hand, Rinoa slowly slid it up Squall's cheek. He felt his body tremble just by the soft motion. He leaned down to her as she still touched his face with her fingertips. As he rested his head against her shoulder, she closed her arms around his neck, bringing him back into a tight embrace. And just like that, the troubles went away, if only for a minute in time. She whispered softly in his ear, "Hey you, love ya." Again he didn't answer her with words, just finished the kiss that was so rudely interrupted earlier.

* * *

An hour or so went by with the gang still hanging out in Zell's room. Quistis and Lauren were now at the table trying their hand at Triple Triad. Squall sat on the couch attempting to watch the local news on television, as Rinoa lay in his lap. Irvine had gained complete control of the remote. During station breaks of Squall's boring news program, he was flipping checking out commercials announcing either 'real' or 'fake' with every women's chest that appeared on the screen; only to be whacked by Selphie with a pillow at every comment.

The door flew open, and standing silhouetted in the middle, like a bad horror movie, was Zell. Squall almost thought of getting up and protecting Irvine from the anger that was Zell, but then again... He had put Squall in a really embarrassing situation a few days back. More importantly, it would be more entertaining than the nightly news. Everyone just stared at him not knowing what to say. Finally, Lauren looked over at him giving him a wink, "Well?"

Shutting the door behind him, the martial artist scratched his head with a confused look adorning his face. "Gee... you know. Once you get to know her, she is, somewhat nice. Maude really wasn't like _that,_ at all, once we got in the car… and the six hot dogs she bought me. She did want to know how everyone liked their presents."

"Still there, didn't want to have all the fun without you, cabana boy."

Shooting the cowboy a malevolent glare, Zell walked over to the area where the gifts lay. Like a kid on his birthday, he ripped open the wrapping paper. A cry of delight sounded from the energetic martial artist, "Oh man, it's the '_Pross-O-Matic 9000_,' what I have always wanted."

The others, save for Squall, opened theirs and found they were identical gifts to Zell's. Rinoa and Irvine couldn't help but laugh at the irony of the entire situation.

"Hey commander," Zell shouted across the small room. "Are you going to open yours? I know it's not the same thing, different box and all. Plus, Maude told me what it really is."

Squall was slightly curious of what Maude McCay would buy him. He sure wasn't the food processor type, even Maude could see that. He slowly opened the box, which was large and flat, he was guessing it was some kind of artwork. "_If this is a picture of dogs playing poker - well Zell can have a complete set of tacky art._ _Oh this better **not **be a nude self-portrait of Maude."_ Dear God almighty, he felt sick at the mere thought. What he saw under the wrapping paper truly surprised him, on the corner was attached a simple note.

"To the boy who I hope finds what he's searching for. For the man who can appreciate the beauty in house cats and ballet."

"What is it?" asked Selphie with childlike curiosity.

Squall turned the picture around for everyone to see; it was a picture of Rinoa during a performance in Deling. Only it was turned into an oil painting, it was simply beautiful. Decorated with a gold frame, she wore the same white dress from the performance the night he first saw her, again.

Zell smiled at his friend "I knew you would like it."

Squall shook his head and almost smiled. "_Was I that obvious to Maude? I really couldn't hide my feelings well._ _She knew_, _damn her, she knew_." The thoughts circled his mind. It was all he could think at that moment. Looking towards Rinoa, he saw that she was wearing a confused look from not understanding everything going on. Walking over to her, Squall gently grabbed her hand and pulled her up toward him. "Let's go home."

Rinoa only smiled, _"Home. Garden is my home."_ She was back.

The others stood silently, as the two exited the room.

"I love happy endings." Selphie leaned on Irvine's shoulder.

"Selph," Quistis replied, "Let's not think of this as an ending. It's going to be hard for them, very hard, but I know they'll make it."

Zell stood still staring at his new toy, "I would place money on that…. Guys, not to change the topic, but want to make a really fun salad?"

Looking at her eager friend, Selphie ran to his small refrigerator, "I _so_ get to make the rose radishes."

He raced over, starting to fight Selphie for the ingredients. Lauren stood stunned watching the two, as Irvine walked over to Quistis and put his arm around her shoulder.

"Funny, Quistis, the more things change, the more they stay the same," pointing to the two offenders at the fridge. "But, I never want them to stop being themselves."

Quistis smiled and looked toward the open window. For the first time tonight, she noticed the beautiful sunset.

And all the colors within.

* * *

Together, Rinoa and Squall walked back to his room, without a word exchanged between them. In one hand, he held the ornate framed painting, and in the other, he held the beauty from the painting. He opened the door with his keycard and Rinoa walked in slightly before him. She made the motion of looking around; to her it was not looking, but feeling her surroundings. She took a deep breath and whispered, "Home." It sounded more the question, than a statement. It wasn't meant to sound that way.

Squall closed the door, setting the portrait down. He had noticed the faltering in her voice. It was a question, even if she hadn't known it. He knew it. One Squall knew would need to be clarified right away. He captured her fingertips with his, and guided her to the small balcony yet again. Ironic how most of his life altering events took place on a balcony. As he opened the sliding glass doors before them, she felt completely lost in the simple rapture of being in his company. Rinoa, as the night before, held firmly onto the smooth metal railing. Squall moved behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Home forever…if you want it to be, _our home._"

She smiled across at the vast open fields that lay in front of her. "The sunsets were always more beautiful in Balamb." She stopped smiling, as he started tracing kisses between her shoulder blade and neck.

Rinoa turned toward her lover, quickly, almost colliding heads. Fortunately, his quick reflexes kicked in, thanks to the years of training. It dawned on her what he had asked, and she had missed the first time. She wasn't sure if she was reading the meaning right, "_Am I hoping that is what he meant? Of course, I want that… nothing would make me happier. Or am I completely off base on this one?_" At one point, she would have known, over the last year she wasn't so sure. He was a different person now. "Squall... 'our' home?"

He leaned down and kissed her forehead, "I'm never losing you again." He wrapped his arms tightly around her waist, as he let them lay upon her lower back. He pulled her as close as possible, their bodies now touching. Again, he leaned down to her beautiful face. Now they were standing nose-to-nose, "I promise never to call you _Mrs. Leonhart_, if we fight."

"Well then, what fun would that be, _Mr. Leonhart_?" He closed the centimeters between them and kissed her. Not the same tentative one from two years ago, now one that reflected his feelings. The ones he always had, but was too blind to see, or too proud to give into. He could never get tired of this feeling, this euphoria deep within his body. He broke the kiss slowly, "Well?"

"Yes, I will. Squall Leonhart, I'm home." The two lovers held each other, watching the sun lower into the distant horizon.

Not with their eyes, but with their hearts.

* * *

The room was dark, yet Squall could not sleep. The recent events had him on a high, which no drug or alcohol could ever compare to. In the moonlight, he watched the silhouette of Rinoa, _his Rinny_, lying soundly, safely next to him. Each breath she took he cherished like gold, each breath gave him another chance at life. He would just watch her; scrutinize the way her hair laid on the silken pillow, the way her fingers found their way around his arm. The fact that she could not see wasn't important, it never was. She saw through him way before he saw through himself. She didn't need her eyes, when she had her heart. No matter what challenges they faced, they would always be together.

And never would he take pity upon her.

After tossing and turning for a few hours, he decided to read something. It had been a habit he had since before he could remember, but usually it would be textbooks, important memos, or reports. But the act usually helped him to fall asleep. Not wanting to disturb Rinoa from her desperately needed slumber, he decided not to turn on the light. Although, even he comprehended, the point was moot. He remembered the books he had purchased less than a week ago back in Deling. The only one he had examined before dealt with the basics of Braille. He had never even looked at anything past that. Although he knew he had purchased several, the others on the clerk's recommendations.

Squall reached slowly into his nightstand, as not to wake her. The first book he managed to touch he grabbed, not knowing which it was. He closed his eyes and cleared his mind, trying to remember everything he had been taught over the last few days. He rubbed his rough fingers across the first pages of the book. Slowly he felt every indentation, every rise in the page.

For the first time he understood the symbols, just as he understood the beauty of life around him.

For a moment, Squall Leonhart felt paralyzed. He _really_ understood. Curious how something so trivial was only comparable to his greatest professional accomplishment, that of becoming a SeeD. Not his personal achievements, that was Rinoa, and there were no comparisons. But could he have just read what he thought? A smile appeared on his lips and a small chuckle escaped in the moonlit covered dorm... He had. He sat back against the headboard in the silent room and started reading the formerly unknown book...

"**_Castles in the Sky_**_...**Chapter**_** _1_**"

~o~0~0~o~

End

~o~0~0~o~

**Additional Information: 3/31/13:** Wow, here's something I never thought I'd be doing again - _another note for this story_ - but there are two very important pieces of information I needed to share.

First, sometimes you do something unexpected...that's what happened after a fandom meet-up back in February '13 with Emerald Latias and Optical Goddess. We were talking about stories and I'd mentioned that I once wrote a short follow-up for this fic. However, it was never posted, lost with a hard-drive failure. Well, one thing led to another, and I decided to revisit the idea. Both versions were called **"Sandcastles"** However, the original one took place two years after this story. Now that twelve years has past in 'real-time' - I wanted it to be identical for the characters. Because of that, I added a chapter that's mainly history, bringing you up-to-date in the character's lives. The second is the _slightly_ altered version of what the original was. The premise is _exactly_ the same, just a few alterations about the timing of the events.

I hope that for those of you who want to know what happened, the good and bad, you read the story. The follow-up is located at my secondary-account for short stories in FFVIII and a few other fandoms; again, the story is called "Sandcastles" - s/9070366/1/Sandcastles If this link doesn't work, I will place it my bio. Also, there is no character death for those who wanted to know. I promise you I wasn't that mean. (_**Spoiler: **_however, I _was_ mean enough to give Selphie three boys that were all born within three years of each other. Hehe. I'm teh ebil):D

Second, I want to thank Sheila Knight for the amazing pictures/cover art. She cos-plays Rinoa and is an accomplished ballerina, even better yet, she's on Pointe. So, she took photographs for me. I have a few that I'll try to rotate, but for the most part you'll see the dress from the Graduation Ball, her traditional blue duster, ballroom shoes, Pointe shoes, and her rings - I'll use the opposite one on Sandcastles.

* * *

**Original Arthur's notes:** **9/05/01** Hurray it's done! Thanks to everyone out there who actually took time to read this. I really do appreciate it. In the end, I wanted not to give Rinoa her sight back, although I know most of you would have liked it. I guess I thought the basis of the story was them growing, and having her regain her sight would go against everything they learned. I just wanted to thank you, for all have been e-mailing me and contacting me through the last few months. But I really did get it done!

* * *

**New Author Notes:** **9/07/02** Well, here I am one year later. It was in September of 2001 that I originally finished this story, and it is only fitting a year later I do the same with the rewritten version. In this year, so much has changed. Us as people, us as a nation, and us as the world. Nobody could have predicted the events of the year, nor could we have imagined what impact they would have. I have become friends with so many, not only in this country, but also in so many others. When all is said and done, we all have remained true to who we were, banding together, and showed the world together people shared the love of one video game. I know that sounds juvenile, I suppose. However, the ideals in that game remain the most basic: fate, triumph over adversity, and true love. Something that every one of us seeks, and together if only for a few hours, we can find that release. I also wanted to thank the movie "Ice Castles" for basic inspiration. It was out when I was a child in the 70s. I never saw it; I found out later it was about an ice skater who lost her sight. She wanted to continue without anyone but her partner knowing the truth. My husband (then boyfriend) bought me a musical teddy bear with the theme from Ice Castles, so I asked my mother later about the movie.

There are so many people to thank for this, and I'm sure I will miss many. First and foremost Nicole (Wayward Tempest and/or Kupo22) who sat with me through this entire rewrite and so much more. She knows this story better than I do, as I don't read anything I write… strange but true. She has been a great editor and friend, and someone to yell at me when I needed it, or to lend a shoulder to cry on when I wasn't doing well. Bob, I thank you too… nobody I know can sit through these chapters three times each, determined to find errors, and still say they enjoy the story… to you I thank you. Vick330, the last person forced to check this… I thank you also. You were one of the first people to ever write me, and I was shocked that anyone was reading… or cared. Finally, I want to thank Larathia for not only encouraging me to write, but to write better. It's one thing to write a story - it's another to strive to improve.

In closing, I want to thank each of you. You have all given me faith and encouragement. I hope that for a little while, I was able to entertain you for a few short moments between facing real life. We all are searching for something, and my only wish is that you find it along the way. No matter how big or how small, I wish that you carry a little bit of hope within your hearts.

**_For now, forever… I thank you._**

Kristine (Ashbear)


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